Page 181 of The Chains You Defy

Heavily blushing, I retreated backward, attempting to be as silent as possible, but one of the males spotted me, curved his lips into a smile, and crooked his finger at me to invite me to their menage. With major embarrassment, I shook my head, almost in panic, and darted out of the chamber.

Unsurprisingly, I refrained from opening any more closed doors. Maybe I wasn’t as innocent anymore as half a winter ago, but I was still uncomfortable witnessing group intercourse.

Also, if Dion had only the slightest suspicion that I hadn’t only stumbled over such a scene but had been invited to join, he’d disassemble the entire mansion with everyone inside, without a doubt.

After dinner two days later, I had a scheduled meeting with Cantarlann. Earlier, he’d asked me again if I could imagine partaking in an initiation rite to the Cuirt, which would grant me the right to stay here indefinitelyif I desired, would allow him to explain more, and would give me access to monitor some ceremonies.

Although this rite made me nervous—no matter how harmless Cantarlann painted the event to be—I was way too curious to decline.

Discreetly, I’d gathered more information, and everyone had confirmed there were no strings attached. Even if I remained at the Cuirt for winters, I wouldn’t owe them anything. There were no obligations, and no one would ever stop me from leaving. This island was a sanctuary of peace and freedom, and I ate all the details up like I was a starving person at a banquet.

So, I met with Cantarlann in yet another cozy area, which resembled a sitting room. The walls were lined with shelves full of books, their spines bearing Galantian swirls.

“You seem nervous, Nayana.”

“No. No, I’m not. Just tired, and my head still hurts.”

“That’s worrisome. I’ll have a healer sent to you later. You’ve been in pain for quite a while, and I want to make sure Galrach didn’t contaminate you with something.”

My eyes widened as my stomach cramped. The possibility hadn’t even crossed my mind, and I shivered. “Oh gods, please no.”

“Calm down, sweet thing. We have the best healers around, and I promise nothing bad will happen to you.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nodded. Insecurity raged inside me. Not only was the idea that I could have been infected with a magical illness tearing at my sanity, but I still wasn’t sure if participating in this introduction was a good decision.

But maybe I was simply overthinking as usual? After all, Antas’ mother had been a long-term resident, andThain had grown up alongside Cantarlann, for the gods’ sake.

When would I finally stop being afraid of everything? “So, the initiation. What do I have to do?”

“Not much. It’s a fancy term for a lot of talking.” Cantarlann picked up a bottle of red wine and poured some into a simple silver goblet before handing the drink to me.

Afterward, he fetched another bottle, which looked like white wine, and prepared another vessel for himself. “The dark color symbolizes your current ignorance of our ways, and the white means I’m already enlightened.”

I scanned my glass, which was filled with a good four fingers’ worth of wine, smelling rich and decadent.

Cantarlann lifted his goblet to his lips, and I mirrored him.

We drank our wine in silence, and the flavor exploding on my tongue was exquisite.

“A small amount of alcohol will also ease some of your tension.”

A light frown marred my forehead but soon disappeared again. He was right, and a relaxing warmth spread through me. Calmness engulfed me.

This must be some strong wine. Or my sickness was to blame for being tipsy after just a couple of sips.

“Welcome to the Cuirt an Ghra, Nayana Garnet Ortha of Ivreia. Everyone is ecstatic to have you here, and even more so because you decided to determine if our ways could be yours as well. Today, I’m here to aid you with the first step on this path if initiation is still your wish.”

“It is.”

“Good. How areyou feeling?”

“Relaxed. Calm. Safe and warm.”

“Perfect, Nayana. Those are excellent states.” Cantarlann smiled softly and leaned forward on his couch. “Let me ask you another question. What do you consider the purest emotion of all?”

What could he mean?

“I don’t know,” I said, slightly ashamed at the possibility I could have disappointed the fae.