Page 116 of The Chains You Defy

Dion’s pupils had eaten up the colorful shine of his irises entirely, and his gaze was as dark as the sky on a moonless night as he stared at me.

But then his expression shifted, became softer, and color returned to his eyes.

Gods, no. As long as he concentrated on his anger, I could deal with him. But the vulnerable determination he displayed threatened to unravel me.

Each of my heartbeats was a painful reminder of the situation I desired to escape from but couldn’t. Since I’d woken up after he’d rescued me from the clutches of Perran Feroy—or no, since he’d made me promise to have this conversation back in Amalach—he’d reminded me of an active volcano, filled to the brim with fiery, barely contained devastation. So when pressure had continued to build, all the bottled-up chaos had been more and more in danger of erupting, and the explosion had only been a question of when, not if. The time to unleash unrestrained destruction had arrived, and I was scared senseless of how much extinction would be left in the wake of his detonation.

But I’d chosen to ignore the signs of him descending into madness during the last weeks, and as much as I wanted to, there wasn’t an option to escape anymore. I would drown and burn in the fire raining down, and just like when a catastrophe had transformed the Stable Peak into the Unstable Abyss, only a desolate wasteland would remain after Dion’s outburst.

And there was nothing I could do to stop this. I had tried, and I’d failed.

Dion grabbed me around my waist so suddenly I squeaked in surprise, hauled me a few steps back, and crashed into a chair. He didn’t take me down with him. Instead, he pulled me to stand between his widespread legs, burying his face in my belly for a short moment, leaving a tingling sensation behind.

“Nayana.” My name tumbling from his lips sounded rough yet shaky, and I swallowed hard, combating my deteriorating nerves.

“You can’t hurt every male in my vicinity.”

“I’m planning on doing so much more than merely injuring everyone who comes near you.”

“No, Dion. Just no. I might be aware that your kind, and you in particular, have massive territorial tendencies, and even though I’m willing to deal with some of your behavior, this…your threats are going too far.”

“No threats. Promises.”

“Whatever dark place your mind is inhabiting right now, I need you to return to reality. Please, for the love of the gods, explain why you’re escalating to such extremes. I want to understand, but you’re making this so hard.” My request was out before I could reevaluate, and I scolded myself. Instead of encouraging him to bare his soul, I should have defused the situation with—maybe humor?

Too late.

Dion’s hands tensed around my waist. Considering the lingering expression of murder on his face, he was still contemplating eliminating everything he perceived as danger, no matter if justified or not.

With more patience than I thought I had, I waited for the fae male to leave the prison of his darkest desires, andfinally, his tension gradually eased. At least some clarity returned to his eyes.

As his gaze met mine, his purple irises fixated on me in the weird predatory manner I’d long since grown accustomed to, and I wanted to run but stayed.

“You search for an explanation that you already have? Don’t tell me you forgot what I told you in Amalach. Or wait, you haven’t, but you’re avoiding facing the truth. But since you’ve asked, let me spell out the facts for you again. Nayana, you’re mine.” There was so much conviction in his voice that a cold sensation rushed down my spine, and I shuddered.

“You also told me months prior to today that you’d rather die before making me yours. And may I remind you that I’m not interested anyway in being anyone’s?”

“Let me explain. What I hurled at you in Rastialla was what I believed to be true back then. Because of this whole shit situation here in Alaiann. You witnessed the torment firsthand. Galrach never permitted me to have anything to call mine. Truly mine. Everything I held dear was, at best, temporary. Taken away from me if granted at all, and there was nothing I could do to change my fate. Can’t you see? Even my life isn’t mine; it hasn’t been since my parents died.”

Dion let out a shaky breath, the amethyst light radiating from him penetrating my defenses, and my heart simply shattered.

“What kept me tethered was the lie I told myself—that I got used to my life and having nothing wasn’t too bad. And somehow, I believed myself. I stopped fighting as I didn’t see merit or sense. In the end, I had convinced myself that being alone was for the better. Not having meant not losing, and ultimately, not feeling anythingequaled not being hurt ever again. That was my existence—because such misery doesn’t deserve to be called life—for many, many winters, and the voices insisting that caring meant falling prey to weakness were strong. At one point, I was certain that emotions would be my downfall if I let any of them in. But meeting you, being around you, being your friend—you thawed the ice around my soul, altered the fabric of my existence, and I can’t and won’t change back to who I was. Never again, Nayana. You taught me never to give up, no matter what. And you offered my life a sense of purpose. For that, I’ll never let you go again.”

By the Triad, that outburst had been a lot. Too much to digest—the raw pain, honesty, and longing laced with possessiveness upheaved my stomach. No words formed on my tongue, my throat constricted by an invisible noose as I stared down at the male in front of me.

“Guess why I fought so hard against becoming close to you? Against friendship?”

“I don’t—”

“It’s alright, I’ll explain. From the very first moment I spotted you on that wooden platform, drugged and defenseless, convicted to die, I knew how dangerous you were to me, even if I couldn’t entirely comprehend the full scope yet.”

“Oh, Dion.” Uneasy nerves danced along my insides. But there was no stopping the eruption of the tormented fae prince.

“And I was certain that if I accepted—if I claimed you as mine—at some point, my grandfather would rip you from me. Force me away from you. So, I tried to keep my distance from the very beginning. But as much as this surprises me, I failed miserably. Then, I kissed youon Samhain after hearing the boy’s confession and his intentions to steal you from me. And I was well aware that I’d fucked up, so I told you what was probably the biggest lie of all. Because already back then, even though I couldn’t confess the truth to myself, I knew I would die if I didn’t make you mine.” Dion sprang to his feet and, at the same moment, tugged me into his chest, arms banding unyieldingly around my small frame.

“I’m speechless.” I was so out of my depth as the magnitude of Dion’s confessions threatened to pull me under.

“Nayana, I’m not used to defeat, but I can’t deny I failed to stay true to my convictions. Oh gods, I failed so spectacularly, and yet, I’ve never been as happy about a loss as I am with you close to me. But still, I’m scared shitless that you and I will only be temporary, that something will separate us. And although the shitpile of my past never completely broke me before, I couldn’t—can’t handle the desolation if someone takes you away from me.”