Page 131 of The Chains You Defy

“Can’t you stay serious for once?” Deflection was a valuable tool in my arsenal, and I held on to my shield for dear life.

Chuckling, he tugged me closer and engulfed me in his gigantic frame, drowning me in his scent. “Go on. Why are you so shocked?”

“Because I can’t explain why I forgot all of this during the last winters. After all, her words have engraved themselves into my memory.”

“Then what did she say?”

Melancholy washed over me, and I allowed myself a quiet while of reminiscing.

“Promise me not to laugh. It’s rather silly.” What if my ten-winter-old self was somehow connected to the reason for all the trouble I was in?

“I bet you were an adorable girl.”

“Princeling—”

“Oh well, fine. I won’t laugh.”

“Good. I’ll smother you in your sleep if you do.”

“Violent tiny creature. I like it.”

Huffing, I glared at the insufferable bastard, but his teasing had at least taken the brunt of my embarrassment. “When I was ten winters old, I was so excited to see the oracle. Rewi had been visiting her on the celebration the previous winter, as her birthday is on summer solstice, and mine is ten moons later. Gods, had I been jealous. Anyway, I was obsessed with fantasy tales about heroes and their deeds. So, uhm, I asked her howsomeone could become a hero. Don’t look at me like that, Dion. You promised not to laugh.”

“I’m not even smiling.”

“But you want to.”

“Yes, because you were a cute little girl.”

A very unladylike sound escaped my throat, but instead of arguing with him any longer, I continued my tale. “Her answer—I haven’t forgotten one word.”

“What did the oracle reply?”

Never had I trusted anyone with Madame Namtar’s lecture, the one who’d introduced me to anxiety more than my father’s educational methods, even though I couldn’t name a single good reason for my discomfort.

Dragging the memories back into a divine crypt where the air was still heavy with the afterglow of the gods’ presences felt twice as bad, but as I glanced at Dion and found only serious interest in his features, I gathered my courage and spoke, even imitating the oracle’s melodic rhythm from back then.

“There is nothing wrong, child, with being ignored by the greater fates. The moment when destiny comes face to face with you and acknowledges your existence is one to be truly terrified. Being seen by forces beyond your comprehension may be tempting and seem grand in theory, but living under the thumb of fate is a very, very bad thing because your life is not your own anymore. No one tells you that being a hero means that you swap the one glorious moment of greatness for a myriad occasions of pain, torture, and heartbreak. No, child, don’t aspire to be more than you are. Plead for destiny to ignore you. I certainly pray for you.”

“She’s accurate.”

“Painfully so.”

“There’s a reason I’d chosen the more villainous path. Altruism doesn’t suit me well.”

“You’re more heroic than you want to admit; only your means are very questionable.”

“Lately, I’ve become a big supporter of the sentiment that even a villain can get the female he desires. And since the destruction of the worlds is counterproductive to my goal—spending my entire lifetime with you—I’ll drink the bitter potion and pretend to be a hero for a while. But don’t get me wrong. The only people I give a fuck about are you and me. Whoever else gains an advantage from my heroism can call themself a beneficiary of coincidence. And safe to say—in the end, I will win your heart.”

“Oh, Dion—”

“But let’s not have that discussion again. Have you memorized anything else? Maybe from the other two times?”

“Yes. Five winters later, I was still scared senseless by her warning. But I thought myself to be clever and asked her how I could determine that fate had cast an interest in me. My goal was to heed her advice and become invisible.”

“Didn’t work out so well, hm?”

“Shush. Honestly, I left the tent more unsettled than I’d entered the oracle’s den. I’ll quote you some highlights.” I collected my thoughts for a second, then continued. “Fate sneaks up on you, takes you, shapes you, and also breaks you apart. Rewards may be high for the successful, but trust me, it’s not worth it. I see intelligence in your eyes, but also a longing for more written in them. Oh, child—I beg you to take my words seriously. Accept your lot in life, and don’t strive to be more thanyou are. Otherwise, you will set yourself on a path of unnecessary pain.”