Page 65 of The Boy I Loved (Eternal Hell #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

HAZEL

What was that saying?

You never truly knew someone until you witnessed the darkest parts of them.

I thought I knew everything there was to know about Dominic Steel.

We shared everything with one another. He was my best friend, and I was his.

He was the boy who used to engage in burping contests with my dad after guzzling three cans of soda.

He was the boy who used to race me through the woods and make me clean his dirty room if I lost. He was the boy who always took my feelings into consideration and never faulted me for being too sensitive when I knew I could be.

He was the boy who brought me my favorite snacks when it was that time of the month.

Most of all, he was the boy I loved.

We’d gone from having eating contests, watching chick-flicks and horror movies, camping with our families, cuddling in the treehouse, attending middle school dances (as friends), telling one another all of our most embarrassing moments, to blossoming into something more.

Our friendly touches became electric, looks became lingering, the heat of his body beside mine became more prominent, and then he kissed me at last. But that wasn’t all—He also took my virginity.

He made me pine for him for two and a half years, only to come back completely different.

All this time … I thought Dominic was being forced to do the things he did. Hell, that was what he said. But what he did to Stacy…

He chose to do that.

Everything I thought I knew about Dominic was a lie. I’d been right before. The boy I knew and loved died in that treehouse. There was never a chance for us.

My room suddenly felt empty. Stacy never came back, and she wouldn’t.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been in bed for. It had to have been over twelve hours. My tears had dried on my puffy cheeks and my eyes were rubbed raw. He purposely provoked her so he could kill her.

I just didn’t understand why .

Then again, it was pointless attempting to understand a psychopath. That was the gist of what Stacy had told me, and I realized rather quickly she was right.

Even if he was ordered to do it, I seriously doubted that he was instructed to play the tape of her parents while committing the vile act. That was something else he’d willingly chosen to do. He wanted to torture her, and he did. Then, he continued to fuck her dead corpse.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I saw the excitement in his eyes. It was like something in him had snapped and the beast had taken over. The violence of it all turned him on. Torturing her turned him on.

My stomach twisted painfully with hunger, a low rumble emanating from it.

I hadn’t eaten since last night and I was supposed to be in training now.

I just couldn’t bring myself to go. If they wanted to punish me for my absence, it didn’t matter anymore.

Nothing mattered. They’d kill us simply because they wanted to.

It didn’t matter how much they claimed to reward good behavior and punish bad; it was all a lie.

Tristan killed Emerson and Nia because he was bored of them.

Dominic killed Stacy for … fun? I wasn’t really sure why he killed her, but she didn’t do anything wrong.

And those were just the girls I knew about. There were probably many more.

A sigh of despair fled my lips, and I rolled onto my side, staring at Stacy’s empty bed on the other end of the room.

I never even got to ask her why she’d suddenly switched up on me the way she had.

I didn’t think it mattered since that was the past and this was now, but now …

I’d never know. It never seemed like the right time to ask anyway, not with everything going on.

Her parents’ words kept spiraling through my head on a constant loop. They missed her so much and just wanted her to come home. Her mom, Patricia, blamed herself for Stacy going missing. They were heartbroken.

I wondered if they’d do something similar to me—show me my parents’ tape while raping and murdering me. The thought sent a shudder through me.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t heard the door creak open.

The only indication that I was no longer alone was my mattress dipping behind me.

My heart leapt into my throat, and I clamped my eyes shut, not in the mood to deal with Tristan’s shit today.

He was still pissed at me for choosing Mason and had only comforted me yesterday to piss Dominic off.

Neither one of them had paid me any attention since.

“Hazel.”

My breath stuttered out, getting stuck in my throat. There was a time when his voice alone made me melt. Now, it terrified me.

There was nothing I had to say to him. He did what he did for whatever reason, and now he had to live with that. His warm hand landed on the dip of my waist, his thick fingers brushing over the small bit of exposed skin between my skirt and tank top.

“The silent treatment?” he asked with a hint of amusement in his tone, as if this was anything to joke about.

“I’m not in the mood, Dominic.”

He blew out a frustrated breath, withdrawing his hand.

After a few moments of silence, he wiggled on the bed behind me and laid down, pressing his front to my back.

The warmth of his body seeped through the thin fabric of my clothing, and I hated how much it still affected me.

It was so normal and comfortable, especially when he draped an arm over my hip and tugged me flush against him, his hot breath feathering against the back of my neck.

I wanted to ask him why he did it, but it was pointless. Nothing he said would change the fact that it happened.

“I’m sorry I upset you,” he muttered. “It wasn’t my intention.”

My posture went rigid against his and I attempted to pull away, but he tightened his grip around me, holding me in place. “Upset me ?” I snarled. “What about what you did to Stacy?”

“It had to be done,” he replied simply.

Exasperation filled me. Who the fuck did he think he was to take a life as if it meant absolutely nothing?

I wanted to tell him I hated him, that whatever we had before was long gone, but I couldn’t, because it wouldn’t be true.

He might have been as horrible as his friends, but I knew him when he was pure and innocent.

Whatever Clay had done to him really fucked him up, and deep down, I knew that didn’t excuse his behavior.

It was scary to think that he could do anything to anyone, and I’d still be here, pining over the boy I’d once known as if he’d ever be that boy again.

“You’re so full of yourself,” I muttered, a new wave of pain slashing through my chest. He didn’t even sound like he was sorry.

“Maybe.” He pushed his crotch against my ass, rubbing his erection on me .

I squirmed away from him, trying to put more space between us, but just like before, he tightened his grip around me and continued his assault.

“You fucked her,” I accused. Raped was the accurate term, but I didn’t want to give him any more of a reason to dodge my comments. Knowing him, he’d focus on one thing I said and create an entirely new argument, simply to avoid the current one. He did that when we were kids, too.

“And you fucked Tristan,” he countered, driving his hips against me again.

Rage punched through me viscerally. “He assaulted me,” I defended, astonished that he’d claim it was consensual in any way, shape, or form. He knew I didn’t have a choice.

“And you told him not to stop,” he snapped, finally stilling his movements. “He gave you an out and you fucking begged him to keep going.”

My stomach twisted into a series of knots and not because of the hunger pains this time.

He was right. Tristan did tell me he’d stop if I wanted him to, and I asked him to keep going.

Tears pricked at the corners of my raw eyes, my chest feeling oddly hollow and heavy at the same time.

I tried not to dwell on it too much after it had happened, not wanting to even think about it.

But now that Dominic was pointing it out…

What the hell was wrong with me?

Was I that much of a whore that I’d get off to a rapist slash murderer? That I’d beg him to keep fucking me, even when I knew what he was capable of?

My shoulders rolled forward and I tucked my chin against my chest, curling into a ball. The first tear to fall stung my cheek and made me wince. But after the first one, more quickly followed.

“Hazel.” He sighed, a twinge of regret in his tone. But the damage was already done. “Look at me.”

“Are you even allowed to be in here? ”

His thumb brushed over the skin of my waist, eliciting an unwanted shiver. I didn’t want to feel anything for him anymore, but I couldn’t stop caring no matter how hard I tried.

“Nothing will ever stop me from getting to you, my sweet butterfly.” His hand drifted upwards, his fingers toying with my breast. Even though I was dressed, the clothing did very little to deflect the heat of his touch.

“You just killed one of the only friends I have here,” I reminded him, hating how normal the words felt rolling off my tongue. “And now … you want something from me?”

He hummed in response, unfazed by what I’d just said. “I can do whatever I want to you, remember?”

I gritted my teeth.

Since being kidnapped from the comfort of my own home, Dominic had been distant. In fact, he barely caused any trouble. But something in him snapped, and now he was acting just like them . Maybe this was who he was all along.

You could only hide your roots for so long before the confines snapped, and you were faced with the destruction of your own actions.

“Do what you want. I can’t stop you.”

He blew out an exasperated breath, moving his hand to my hip again and jerking me backwards. I rolled onto my back, my brown hair flying over my face with the sudden movement.