Page 24 of The Boy I Loved (Eternal Hell #1)

My shoulders dropped in defeat. There was no way out of this. He was going to make me touch her—hurt her. I reached into my pocket again, running the pad of my thumb over the smooth surface of the nickel, willing it to offer me the strength I needed to get through this.

“Fuck her,” Clay ordered, slicing through the thick silence.

My head whipped in his direction, my breathing coming out fast and uneven. Anya’s choked sob echoed through the cell, cutting straight into my chest. This was wrong; this was assault. I couldn’t move. My entire body seemed to lock up, holding me in place.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Boy.” He growled in a low tone that sent a chill sweeping down my spine.

On shaky legs, I forced myself to walk toward her.

There were so many things I wanted to say to her—to tell her I didn’t have a choice, that I was sorry, that my sister meant more to me, that I’d be gentle.

But I couldn’t say any of those things. Not only would Clay punish me for it as he’d made abundantly clear, but it didn’t matter.

Nothing I told her would undo what I was about to do.

Anya’s blue eyes followed me every step of the way, her body curling into itself more and more the closer I got. “Please.” She cried, hugging herself tightly.

My teeth scraped together, but I held back all of the words I wanted to say. Instead, I tugged my hand out of my pocket, moving it to the button on my jeans.

‘I’m so sorry, Hazel. Forgive me.’

The thought echoed through my skull, sending a current of heat to the back of my eyes. I should have never gone with Clay. I should have taken my punishment and gone right back to my family as initially planned. But it was too late for that now.

A shaky breath left my lungs as I kicked my shoes off and pushed my jeans and boxers down my legs. They pooled at my feet, giving me the access I needed to step out of them.

Clay’s voice was like a gunshot in the darkened silence. “You realize this is a punishment, Anya. Don’t you?”

“I’m sorry.” Her body shook with sobs, tears streaming down her muddled face. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll do better. Please ? —”

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that.”

Bile burned the back of my throat. Whatever she’d done, it didn’t warrant this. Nothing warranted this. But I couldn’t afford to have second thoughts, not when my sister’s life and innocence was on the line. A cold chill rushed through me, causing my balls to draw up even more than they had been.

I took my dick in my hand and slowly started pumping it.

It didn’t seem to matter how much I stroked myself; nothing happened.

So … I thought of Hazel—of her beautiful green eyes and bright smile.

I thought of the soft sounds she made, and how she dragged her nails down my back.

In no time, my cock began to twitch and steadily got harder and harder .

With hesitant movements, I reached for the girl on the mattress, but she quickly deflected, slapping my arms away.

“Anya,” Clay tsked. “This is why you’re in this mess in the first place.”

I reached for her again, guilt filling every crevice of my body. This time when she lashed out, I grabbed her arms, pulling them outwards. A strangled cry left her lips as she struggled against me, but she was too weak—too frail. The poor girl didn’t stand a chance.

“I have a family,” she pleaded. “Please. I-I just had a little boy five months ago.”

Her words slashed through me, causing my movements to falter. She was a mother. By the looks of it, she was a teen mom, too.

“We all have families,” Clay retorted with a hint of a warning in his tone. “It doesn’t make you special.”

Anya took advantage of my hesitation and kicked me in the abdomen. The impact barely did a thing other than surprise me.

“Don’t let her get away with that, Dominic. Show that fucking bitch who’s in charge.”

“What?” I asked, distracted as I lowered my knees onto the edge of the mattress. The bed was so thin; the floor pressed against me through the material.

“Hit her,” Clay snapped. “And hard.”

I quickly shook my head, remorse and regret flooding through me like a tidal wave. I couldn’t hit her. I couldn’t cause her even more pain.

“Hit her now and make it good, or I’ll make you beat the shit out of her. Got me?” His voice was thick with hostility, and I knew he meant every word.

My entire body trembled, and I hoped to whatever God was listening, that he couldn’t see it.

I cocked my arm back and released, letting my knuckles connect with her cheekbone.

Her head whipped to the side, strands of hair flying all around her as she cried out in pain.

Her body slumped with defeat, giving me the chance to tug her down on the bed and to crawl on top of her.

Clay must have been satisfied, because he didn’t say anything else, just continued to observe from the distance.

Her body was cold to the touch as I pressed mine against her, using my hand to line my cock up with her entrance.

She shuddered beneath me, small whimpers fleeing from her mouth, but she didn’t fight anymore.

Her gaze caught on the bars, leading to another girl’s cell, and she just … stared—disassociating.

In one thrust, I was pushing inside of her, breathing out raggedly as she clenched around me automatically.

I fell to the bathroom floor, my knees hitting the tile with ferocity, sending sparks of pain through me.

I didn’t understand why that one incident affected me so much, even to this day.

I’d done far worse things and had even enjoyed some of it.

Maybe it was because she was my first. Maybe it was because she’d been so young, so desperate.

Hell … Maybe it was because Clay killed her as soon as I came in her.

He’d said she was a lost cause, that she was too combative, and wouldn’t learn her place.

It could even be because it was the moment I knew … there was never any going back.