Page 50 of The Boy I Loved (Eternal Hell #1)

When I reached her mattress, I lowered myself on the edge, not missing the way she tried to make herself smaller.

“I didn’t have a choice,” I repeated lowly. “When I was ordered to go to the correctional camp, Clay interfered. He has connections with the law. He … brought me here.”

“And then?” she pressed, not missing a beat.

I blew out a breath. “He kept me on the top floor at first. I had no idea what was going on here. He forbade me from knowing until he thought I was ready. After a short time, he brought me down here. He made me swear my loyalty to him, and I did.”

Hazel’s eyebrows drew together in confusion as she attempted to process it. “He made you swear your loyalty to him before or after he brought you down here?” she demanded, her voice cracking at the end.

“Before. Once we made it to the basement, he made me do things to one of the girls. I tried to back out of it. But he threatened Alice. To this day, that’s what he holds over my head.”

I decided to spare her of all the gory details, opting to explain the gist of it so that she’d hopefully understand. This wasn’t a life I willingly chose for myself. It didn’t make me any better than the other guys. I’d still done some fucked up shit, but I liked to think it did.

I licked my lips nervously, the silence stretching between us. I might not have been able to save her, but I could at least explain. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t still hate me, but at least it was off my chest now.

“I didn’t know they would come for you,” I murmured when she didn’t reply. “I did everything I could think of to keep you off their radar. Until Rodney’s party…” I trailed off, shaking my head. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry…” she murmured, making me wince. I knew an apology didn’t mean shit when it came to the damage caused. “I don’t know how to feel.”

That was fair. I repositioned my body on the bed, turning to face her.

She was still as beautiful as ever, even in this place.

Against my better judgment, I reached for her, not at all surprised when she flinched away, but it didn’t deter me.

My thumb brushed over the sharp edge of her jaw and then drifted to her lower, swollen lip.

“Do you still love me?” I whispered, regretting it as soon as the words left me. It was a rare sign of vulnerability I didn’t show often, but I had to know.

Hazel sucked in a stuttering breath, her dark lashes fluttering momentarily before she opened her eyes wider and met my gaze again.

I could see the storm of emotion swirling through her irises, and for a long moment, I didn’t think she’d answer.

There was so much history between us, so much damage.

I wouldn’t be surprised if she told me to burn in Hell right now.

Anticipation clawed through my chest as I awaited her answer with bated breath.

After a few long moments, her shoulders relaxed, some of the tension fading from her posture. “Always,” she replied softly.

The relief I felt in that moment was unmatched.

It was the kind that flooded your system, pushing everything else out of the way and relaxed your organs.

She’d seen me commit vile acts. She saw what I was capable of, even if it wasn’t everything, and still cared for me.

Maybe it was because we’d spent most of our childhood together.

Emotion punched through my chest and my shoulders rolled forward with her admission. If she hadn’t just been assaulted, I’d fuck her right now, consequences be damned.

I reached for her, and she let me. I let the blanket fall around her waist, pulling her against my chest and into my lap. Her smell had begun to fade, but she was still perfect in every single way.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated.

She turned her head, her green eyes softening a fraction. “It’s not your fault. Not completely.” The flicker of hesitation on her face told me she wanted to blame me but realized she couldn’t. Her heart wouldn’t let her.

I brushed my lips over her chest, trailing them up to the fresh bruises circling her neck. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” I whispered against her skin. I was mad at myself for not coming to check on her sooner, but I’d been at war with myself over it, unsure whether I should at all.

“No.” Her fingers threaded through my hair, her eyes fluttering closed as she relaxed against me.

He might not have hurt her physically, but I could see the mental toll it had taken.

It was in her eyes, even in her facial expression when she glanced away and furrowed her brows like she was reliving it all over again or trying to process it still .

Tilting my chin, I brushed my lips against hers in a gentle caress. She leaned into it, flattening her palms against my chest. The heat from her body seeped through my clothing, my grip tightening around her bare waist as I pulled her tighter against me.

“I love you,” I whispered, slightly breathless.

Her lips twitched into a sad smile. “I love you too, Dom.”

I might have hated Mason for what he’d done, and our friendship might have been on the rocks, but I couldn’t deny his usefulness.

If I needed something from him and it didn’t interfere with what he wanted, he always came through.

He kept an eye on Hazel when I couldn’t.

Obviously, he wouldn’t interfere if something did happen to her, but he at least kept me in the loop.

Tristan had been more on edge lately, taking his rage out on Emerson who walked around sporting an assortment of bruises and black eyes.

I didn’t know what his fucking deal was.

My guess was that he allowed his control to slip when fucking Hazel and he hated it.

As long as he didn’t take out his revenge on her, I didn’t give a shit.

He seemed to steer clear from her from what I’d seen and from what Mason had told me.

That offered me some relief. In fact, nobody had bothered her much since that night, which made me wonder if Tristan claiming her had anything to do with it.

A new addition I noticed was Hazel’s name scribbled out on the clipboard in regards to training.

He made her off-limits in every single fucking regard.

He seemed to be obsessed with her. I knew he didn’t do feelings or even love; he just wanted to own, possess, and control her.

If it kept her safe, he could do whatever the hell he wanted, but Hazel Montogomery would never be off-limits to me.

My eyes skated over Tristan, who was seated in the lounge with a worn-down Emerson on his lap.

Her skin was pale, bruises marring half of her body.

She looked worse off than Stacy did. It didn’t concern me.

Emerson wasn’t the nicest girl around and didn’t stay Tristan’s ‘top girl’ without getting her hands dirty.

Tristan’s bloodshot eyes locked with mine, the tell-tell sign he’d been drinking and possibly shooting one of his favorite substances—methamphetamine. He was a lost cause, nothing more than a joke with a dick between his legs that he used as a weapon.

I could taunt him. I could remind him of the little scene I’d walked in on a few days ago. It would piss him off, but it would also piss Emerson off, and I didn’t want to add another target on Hazel’s back.

Before I could decide if I was going to take the seat across from him or not, Nicholas and Mason came up beside me. Mason offered me a sandwich, which only had my eyebrows raising in response.

We hadn’t been on the best of terms lately.

If this was his attempt at a truce, it was pathetic.

Still, I took the food item and lowered myself onto the recliner.

The thought of food hadn’t appealed to me in days.

Maybe even longer. But I needed to eat to keep up my energy.

Things could go sideways within a matter of seconds.

Nicholas took the spot beside Tristan, leaving Mason to sink into the chair beside mine. Girls wandered around aimlessly, their nervous glances flicking every which way like we’d turn on them if they made the slightest move we didn’t like.

“How long has Rodney been working here?” I asked casually, unwrapping the sandwich before sinking my teeth into the doughy bread.

Tristan’s eyebrows rose, like he hadn’t expected the question.

Once the shock wore off, a small smile tugged at the edges of his mouth.

I didn’t like the look in his eyes. Once again, he acted like he knew something big that I didn’t.

To my knowledge, he’d been around for less than a year, but that didn’t mean it was accurate.

I’d merely assumed he was new since I’d seen very little of him.

“You’re joking, right?” Mason queried, drawing my attention to him.

“Do I look like I’m fucking joking?” I growled, annoyance sparking to life within me.

“You might want to have a conversation with Clay about that one,” Nicholas answered.

Yeah … right. Let me get right on that.

Clay wasn’t the kind of person to feed you information unless it was something he wanted you to know. He was also a liar, a snake, and a manipulator. I was also pretty sure that it wouldn’t be the smartest move since my last conversation with him pissed him off.

“If Clay hasn’t told him yet, he doesn’t plan to.” Tristan smirked, gripping Emerson’s hip so tightly that she squirmed with discomfort.

“You want to enlighten me?” I challenged. “Or is it some big secret I’m not allowed to know?”

It pissed me the fuck off that Clay was keeping shit like this from me.

Not only were we related, but I’d been with him for the last two and a half years.

I’d shown my loyalty by committing horrendous acts and never once complained until Hazel or Alice were brought into question.

What else did I have to do to prove myself?

The sandwich suddenly felt like sandpaper against my tongue, but I forced myself to chew through it, swallowing it down with the same aggression that was running through my veins.

Mason scratched the back of his neck nervously, his eyes drifting over to Tristan like he expected him to answer so he didn’t have to. Nobody wanted to risk pissing my uncle off, which I understood to an extent, but come the fuck on.

Finally, Nicholas blew out a long breath. “Rodney is Clay’s son. I thought you knew that.”