Page 45 of The Boy I Loved (Eternal Hell #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY

DOMINIC

It was like watching a trainwreck happen from the outside of my own body.

I knew what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop it.

Maybe it was for the best. I couldn’t allow her to keep loving the idea of me.

If she wanted to love me, she needed to love me for who I was—who I turned into.

I’d do anything to protect her. If raping women kept her safe, I’d rape them all.

If that made me a monster, so fucking be it.

She was the only one who mattered in here.

I’d kill the lot of them if it protected her.

It wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I’d do it.

It was either her or Nia, and I’d be damned if there was an option to protect Hazel and I didn’t take it.

Hazel wanted to save Nia, but the truth was …

Nia was already dead. Tristan planned on killing her.

She’d been on the top floor prior, but since she couldn’t keep her shit together after having her baby taken from her—not that I blamed her—she was moved down here so she didn’t disrupt everyone else.

Tristan stupidly knocked her up. He couldn’t kill her while she was pregnant; that was where his line was.

Not to mention, he wanted the baby. He just didn’t want the girl who birthed him.

Tristan probably would have killed her now if I hadn’t stepped in, not that I was a white kn ight—I was far from it.

But hopefully it bought Nia a little bit more time, and it kept her from being brutally assaulted right after she’d given birth.

Well … she was still assaulted, but not vaginally. I offered her the only mercy I could.

Hazel didn’t understand. I didn’t only do it for her, but I would have. Even if Nia’s fate wasn’t already sealed, I’d fucking do it. But in this instance, if Tristan had done it himself, she would have been worse off.

“I need a cigarette,” I grumbled, patting the front of my pocket where my pack of cigarettes resided. “You good?” I glanced over at Tristan who still had that manic look in his eyes.

“Yeah. But you fucked my bitch. Now I have to find someone else. I’m not into gaping holes or jizz that didn’t come from my own body.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Maybe you could fuck Lauren back to normal,” I joked, though the words tasted like acid as they vacated my mouth.

The girl had every right to be distraught after being assaulted with a severed hand.

I only mentioned it, so he didn’t get any ideas about saying ‘fuck the lab results’ and going after Hazel.

He was unpredictable and could change his mind at the drop of a hat.

Tristan thought about that for a moment, a stitch forming between his brows while he contemplated it. “That’s not a bad idea, actually. I haven’t fucked her since the day her results came back.”

Seeing as how he didn’t beat the shit out of her, it was safe to assume she wasn’t as loose to him as Stacy was. Maybe Stacy wasn’t loose at all, and he’d just been in a bad mood. It was hard to tell with him.

I spared one last glance at Hazel who hadn’t bothered moving from the bars, her knuckles white as she gripped them tightly.

There were a variety of different emotions flickering across her face, her jaw feathering slightly where she clenched it.

She hated me now. Even though that was what I wanted, it still had a heavy weight settling over my chest. Loving me would only get her killed.

I made my way through the basement, ignoring the sticky substances coating my hand, thighs, and cock.

I’d shower after my shift, but it wasn’t an immediate concern.

I was used to feeling disgusted in this place.

As I reached the door, I heard Tristan cussing out Nia for being useless or some shit like that.

He’d probably kick her before she managed to get to her feet and force her to start the process all over again. He was a piece of shit like that.

When I stepped outside, I tipped my head back, relishing the cool breeze settling over my skin.

This wasn’t anything worse than some of the shit I’d done, but it was up there with the rest. I’d killed women on Clay’s orders, brutalized them, degraded them, and tortured them.

So much had happened in the two and a half years that I’d been gone.

The moment I fucked Anya, I knew there was no going back.

You didn’t simply just … recover from something like that.

It was the kind of shit that stayed with you forever, taunting you, and swimming at the recesses of your mind.

I fished out my pack of Marlboros and took one from the box, positioning it between my lips before digging out the lighter and lighting it. The smoke seeped into my lungs instantly, filling them until I had no choice but to exhale.

My eyes peered off into the darkness. From here, I could make out the outline of trees hovering around the large, electric fence. This place was a prison. There was so much death, so much trauma, and so much agony.

I thought back to Alice. She was why I was doing this, why I’d been forced to do this in the first place, slipping further and further into the hole I kept digging.

Hazel was everything, but Alice was my sister.

The feelings there were different, and I wasn’t sure what I would have done had they snatched her up instead.

Mom wouldn’t survive if she lost us both.

I took another drag of my cigarette, blowing out the smoke in a large plume before me. It drifted toward the sky slowly before disappearing altogether.

My throat constricted with the weight of my sins, drowning me in an eternal abyss of doom and regret I couldn’t escape.

Maybe I should just let Clay kill me. I could beg him to take me out of my misery—not that he would.

He enjoyed my suffering about as much as I hated it.

But if I died, who would be here for Hazel?

It was no secret that she was better off without me, but at least if I was here, I could do what I could to make things the tiniest bit easier for her.

Until she’s sold or forced to work at a whore house. Maybe she’ll get off easily and be thrown into one of the strip clubs.

I shook my head, attempting to rid myself of the horrible thoughts swarming my mind. Nothing about this life was easy . There was evil and less evil, but never easy.

The sad truth of the matter was that we were both doomed.

There was no way out of this life. Not for me and not for Hazel.

She should have listened to me when I told her to run away.

Hell, I should have forced her to and not given her the goddamn option.

I didn’t realize Clay or Mason had turned their attention on her like they had.

I knew it was an option; that should have been enough.

But like everything else, I fucked that up too.

The days began to blur. So far, no one had targeted Hazel or attempted to fuck her or touch her again.

Most of the guys wouldn’t until her results came back, and unfortunately, they’d be coming in today.

I already knew she was clean. If she wasn’t, they’d treat her if they could, and if it wasn’t curable … they’d kill her.

Nia was still alive for now, but the clock on that was ticking.

Tristan had been discussing it with Clay, trying to get his approval— not that he really needed it.

If Tristan wanted to kill someone, he’d do it with or without Clay’s word, and my uncle would barely bat an eye.

He’d probably reprimand him for taking a girl’s life, simply because we were running low on them, but that would be the end of it.

Today was my day off, so it gave me some time to collect my thoughts and prepare.

At least, that was what I’d hoped. Unfortunately, it only made me more anxious.

If I was taking a day off, I couldn’t watch Hazel—the girl who had already been reported missing by her parents.

The cops were scouring the area, looking for Stacy, Lauren, and Hazel.

As expected, the police had their suspicions, but they refused to release them to the public until they had a solid lead.

Even if they suspected me or any of the guys, they wouldn’t find anything.

It wasn’t like we texted one another about all the crimes we committed, and we’d been careful in regard to being caught.

The hot water pelted my skin, cascading down every crevice of my muscular frame. My hands pushed through my hair, slicking it back beneath the spray of water coming from the shower head above.

Once I was done showering, I toweled off, and quickly got dressed in a pair of jeans and a gray T-shirt that clung to my build.

I grabbed my phone off my bedside table, glancing down at the assortment of notifications awaiting me.

My stomach twisted with a multitude of emotions, my gaze snagging on a couple missed calls from Hazel’s mom, followed by some texts.

I’d done my best to avoid her since this all went down, unsure of how to interact.

I might have been well-versed in criminal activity, but lying to the people I cared about wasn’t something that came easily to me.

My finger hovered over her name, unease trickling through my veins. What would I even say to her? That I was sorry to hear about Hazel and I didn’t know what had happened to her? I wasn’t a good actor—not like that. I blew out a breath, clenching my jaw as I peered down at the texts again.

Luanne

Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you’ve heard from Hazel by any chance?

I know you must be busy but call me when you can.

Dominic, this is urgent.

I spoke to your mom today. She said you left. Is everything okay?

If you’ve heard from Hazel, or ran away with her, please just let me know. This is so unlike her.

I swallowed thickly, my fingers trembling around the device. Before I knew it, they were gliding across the screen.

Me