Page 61 of The Bonds We Break

She thinks for a moment. “‘What, with my tongue in your tail?’”

“Was that a quote or a question?”

She rolls her eyes. “It was a quote.”

“Again. I get the general idea but ...”

“But what?”

I press my lips to her ear. “O, that you were on your knees, ass high, head low, that pussy of yours on show for me. I’d lick your soft flesh from clit to ass. There’s nowhere I wouldn’t lick if it made thee feel good.” I feel the puff of breath from her lips against my hair, and the way she tightens her knees around my thighs. I move cheerfully away. It’s rare I have the upper hand with Rae Miller. “That’s better dirty talk, am I right? Little bit Shakespeare, a little bit Uther Hills. Perhaps I should write a book.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re insufferable?”

“If it’s got more than three syllables, no.”

She finally smiles, and her whole face changes. “You’re an ass.”

“Maybe.” I straighten her bra and her sweater, then place my palms back on her thighs. I kiss her lazily, her tongue meeting mine as I simply breathe in the air around her. I continue until she starts to fidget. I’m going to enjoy finding ways to arouse Rae and keep her there. “We’ve got over one hundred and eighty days to build new habits for you. You said parts of you are broken.”

“I didn’t say I was broken. I said I’d accepted myself how I am.”

“Same thing. You’re accepting the problem. I have no fucking clue if I can fix it. But let me try. Even if all we do is change the way you feel about sex.”

The idea of her, ten months from now, sleeping with another man, flashes in front of me. He’s in a suit. Smart, like she is. And most definitely not me. A flicker of anger throws me off my game for a moment at the idea she’ll end up with someone who isn’t me.

I tamp it down.

“Write down everything you can think of. Each day, we’ll try something else. And be honest with me. If I think you’re deliberately withholding information, I’ll be pissed.”

“What if I don’t know something is going to work before you try it?”

“I’ll be able to tell.”

“I feel like this is a new deal.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “I feel like it’s all part of giving me your body.”

Rae shakes her head. She rips a sheet of paper and splits it into two columns. “If I have to write a list for us to work on, so do you.”

She writes titles at the top of each column.

People I trusted.

People who betrayed me.

“Nope,” I say, taking the paper and balling it up. I toss it onto the counter behind her.

For a moment she looks like she’s going to argue. “Okay.”

“Okay?” I was expecting a battle. A war of words.

She nods. “Okay.”

I tip my chin at the pad. “Write your list, Rae. I’ll make dinner. Then tonight, we’ll play around with something in every box.”

Rae does as I say. Periodically, she’ll put the end of the pencil to her lip or tap it on the pad. She’s thoughtful. The list grows. And I’m itching to see what she’s written. I grill the chicken and throw together some vegetables and potatoes. She doesn’t look up at me once. I love the way she’s so immersed in what she’s doing. It’s like when she’s reading a book. Bet an explosion could go off next to her, and she wouldn’t run until she’d finished her chapter.

“Dinner,” I say once everything is plated.