Page 34 of The Bonds We Break

“Thank you,” she whispers.

Brave little girl.

The gesture tugs at me in a way I could never admit, and I respond by squeezing her fingers before I can stop myself. “Yeah, well. You’re worth nothing to me dead.”

13

RAE

Compromise is such a misunderstood thing. It comes from Latin.Compromissus. To make a mutual promise in the now to accept the decision of an arbiter in the future.

So to say I am willing to accept thiscompromisewith King is not totally accurate. There is no arbiter in the future to decide what is going on between the two of us. But I’ll accept whatever this is, the seesaw between light and dark. The way he squeezes my fingers almost affectionately, even as he tells me I’m worth nothing to him dead.

“How was your annual celebration? Did you enjoy it?” I ask before taking another ravenous bite of the turkey club sub.

King looks up from the cooler he’s stuffing with supplies as if he doesn’t understand the question. Or perhaps he doesn’t understand why I’m asking.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you care about the club anniversary?”

“I was being polite. As you know, the past few days for me have sucked. Plus, no power, no heat, no food. Perhaps I’m trying to live vicariously.” I take another bite. I hadn’t realized quite how starved I was.

“It was good. Really good. Tons of food. Nice to hang around with the club members’ families.” There’s a strained quality to his voice. As if he’s frustrated with me but doesn’t want to be.

I nod as I chew. “I’m guessing that feeling of brotherhood is important to you.”

He closes the lid and then turns to face me. “Stop with the psychologist questions.”

I swallow the mouthful of food. “First, it wasn’t a question. It was a statement. Second, it was just conversation. You told me you enjoyed the day with the club members and their families. And I was just continuing the conversation. I could have also said, ‘I look forward to being there with Ryker next year.’ Or perhaps, ‘That sounds lovely. I really enjoy a good buffet.’ Or, ‘It makes sense it’s important to you, being the head of the club.’ Or—”

“Enough. I get the idea. Yes, being part of a brotherhood is important to me. Eat your fucking hoagie.”

“It’s a sub.”

“Rae.” The word comes out on an exasperated huff.

I turn to face the fire so he doesn’t see the smile I’m struggling to hide. I take another bite and savor the fresh tang of tomato and the squishy texture of the avocado. By the time I’m done, the fire is emitting some heat. I slip off the sofa and sit with my back to the fire.

King plugs another lamp near me into a portable charger.

“Are you planning on staying?” I ask as I finally take in the supplies he’s brought.

“Just tonight.” He cracks open a bottle of beer, takes a swig, then offers it to me.

I shake my head.

“What, you don’t want my germs?” He wipes the cap dramatically with his sleeve, then offers it to me again. “I don’t have cooties.”

“No. I don’t want your alcohol. I don’t drink.”

King’s eyes widen. “Never?”

I shake my head again.

“Why not?”