Page 118 of The Armor of Light

‘I worry that Methodism is coming to be seen as a normal part of English Christianity.’

‘Why not? Protestantism has become a normal part of European Christianity.’

He was temporarily floored by this riposte. Elsie enjoyed watching him flounder for an answer. And he was awfully good to look at.

At last he said: ‘Sometimes you can be terribly flippant.’

‘Why, Mr Mackintosh, you sound almost as if you’re getting used to me.’

He gazed at her for a moment. ‘You’re very clever.’

‘My word – such a compliment – especially coming from a man!’

‘Flippancy again.’

‘I know.’

‘Despite that, I admire you.’

That was code. It meant:I’m falling in love with you.She suppressed the urge to mock. She had guessed that he was developing a tendresse for her, and a genuine feeling should not be ridiculed. On the other hand, he had never looked at her with the raw desire she had seen when Amos looked at Jane. She could not help remembering what Amos had said:He wants to marry you because it will help his advancement. The son-in-law of a bishop can hardly fail to gain promotion within the Church.

She said: ‘Are you ambitious?’

‘Ambitious to do God’s work, yes. And my wife will have the joy of helping me to serve Him.’

His words were clichés, but he seemed sincere. She said: ‘To do God’s work, yes, but in what capacity?’

‘If it’s His will, I believe I might toil as a bishop. I’ve had the necessary education, and I’m dedicated and hard-working.’

‘Would you say you’re proud?’

He was uncomfortable under this interrogation, but he suffered it doggedly. ‘I have had occasion to confess the sin of pride, yes.’

That was honest.

She said: ‘I love children. Do you?’

‘I’ve never had the chance. I have no sisters and just one brother who is twelve years older than I. My earliest memory is of him leaving home – and leaving Scotland. He went to take up a job in Manchester, as I left to go to Oxford. There’s not much in Scotland for aspirant young men.’

‘For some people, God’s work may be teaching.’

‘I agree. “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of heaven,” Jesus said.’

‘You try to help in the Sunday school, but you’re never at ease with the little ones.’

‘Perhaps you could teach me.’

This was the first time she had known him to show humility. There was a decent man in there somewhere.

Mackintosh said: ‘I have spoken to your father.’

She felt panicky. He was now going to propose to her, and she did not know how to answer him. She looked around the room and said: ‘I don’t see my father.’

‘He left. He wasn’t feeling well. I’m a bit worried about his health.’

Playing for time, Elsie said: ‘And my mother?’

‘She said she would find someone to walk her home, and he was not to worry.’