Page 48

COLE

W hen I woke the next morning, the exhaustion almost crushed me. Not only the physical exhaustion of waking up so early and going on a run in the middle of the night, but the emotional exhaustion. It was like a battering ram slamming into me over and over again.

Last night, I’d had dreams of getting here in time, of helping Ashton get through his shift. Wonderful, perfect dreams. Instead, I was left with the reality.

I was an absent father.

Ever since I found out I had a son, I could think of nothing but everything I’d missed.

Birthdays, playing the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, watching his face the first time he saw the ocean—I’d missed it all.

There was no chance for a redo. The prospect of Avery and Ashton returning, and my son being so close to his first shift, had filled me with excitement.

There was at least one more huge moment, one more milestone, I could be there for.

Except, I’d been asleep in a ritzy hotel in Atlanta instead of here with my boy when he needed me.

Regardless of what Avery or Ashton said about it, that single failure would haunt me for the rest of my life. If I couldn’t be counted on to be there for the big moments, especially when we now lived in the same town, how the fuck could they count on me for anything?

Once again, pack business got in the way of me living my life the way I wanted.

If not for the bullshit my father had gotten us into, I never would have had to go to Atlanta.

Every time I thought life was looking up, something with the pack came swooping in to shatter everything.

Even now, I couldn’t simply lie here and stew about it.

I had to get up and handle more pack issues.

Slinging the cover of the sleeping bag off, I got up, scowling as I got dressed.

Out in the kitchen, I heard the muffled sounds of Ashton and Avery’s voices.

Inhaling deeply, I tried to calm my mind.

I couldn’t keep exposing them to my irritation.

Neither of them had done anything wrong, yet I couldn’t stop myself for some reason.

I felt like I was on a razor’s edge all the time, and things kept pushing me over.

When Ashton and I got back from our run the night before, Avery had already gone to bed. Trent had pulled me aside to talk while Ash went to sleep.

“Are you good, bro?”

“I’m fine,” I grunted, and tried to throw his arm off.

But Trent was strong. Not as strong as me, but strong enough to retain a hold on my shirt. He yanked me back, almost shaking me.

“You need to chill. I can feel the negativity coming off you in waves. Ashton will, too.”

“How?” I hissed, trying to keep my voice low but feeling miserable. “How the fuck do I chill, Trent?” My eyes burned. “I wasn’t here. You were. I love you like a brother, but it should have been me.”

“I get that,” he said. “I really do, but there’s more going on here.

That kid needs a dad, and Avery needs a man to take care of her.

I know you want to do both of those things, but you’ve got to get over the past first. Beating yourself up over all the stuff that’s already happened isn’t going to do anyone any favors. You have to live for now.”

“And I missed this moment now, Trent,” I said. “Even now, I’m fucking up. Everything about Harbor Mills is rubbing me the wrong way. It ruined my life before, and it’s trying to ruin it now. I fucking wish I never came back. If not for Ashton and Avery, I’d say let’s hit the goddamn road.”

“We can’t do that, Cole. You came back. You took up the responsibility. People are looking to you for guidance and leadership. You know we can’t pick up stakes and go.”

“Yeah,” I grumbled, bitterness seeping deeper into my soul. “I’m going to bed.”

Now, as I stood in the guest room, I tried my best to take his words to heart. In the cold light of day, I saw what a prick I’d been yesterday. Hell, I’d told Avery to spoil herself, and then when she did, I’d acted all hurt and anxious, worrying about money. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Once I thought I had myself under control, I went to the kitchen, where Avery was finishing up what looked like a monster breakfast: bacon, sausage, gravy, homemade biscuits, scrambled eggs, hash browns, and a bowl of fruit.

I eyed the spread. “Wow. When did you wake up to do all this?”

Avery didn’t meet my eye as she pulled plates out of a cabinet.

“Early.”

A single word. Short and clipped. I’d really stepped in it. If Ashton realized something was amiss, he was either hiding it or hadn’t noticed as he shoveled food into his mouth.

“Mom made a big breakfast to celebrate my first shift,” Ashton said.

“Awesome,” I said, then looked at Avery again. “So, I’m going to take that money to Kyle today. Get this all over with. That should help a lot,” I said, hoping to draw her into a conversation.

“That would be good,” she said, still not looking at me.

I hated this distance between us, but it was well-deserved.

We’d barely begun to get back on good footing, and I’d spent all of yesterday acting like a dick.

I’d pushed her away when I should have been bringing her closer.

She wasn’t giving me any shit over my attitude, but she wasn’t being overly loving, either.

I felt like I was a guest rather than a part of the family like I wanted to be.

I hoped to God paying Kyle would get him off my back.

This situation was draining me, and if I could get him out of the picture, maybe I could focus on my relationship with Avery.

Though, there was still that nagging worry at the back of my mind that something else was going on with Kyle.

Something I hadn’t figured out yet. That worried me, but not as much as the thought that I was screwing up any chance I might have of being in a real relationship with Avery.

We ate, mostly in silence, which was only broken when Ashton happily told us about his shift.

The kid was on cloud nine. When I’d met him, he was somewhat reserved, which was to be expected.

He’d come to a new place, met the father he’d never known, all while going through his first shift.

Now, it was like a weight had been lifted off his chest.

“Mom, it’s so cool,” he said through a mouth full of biscuit. “Running on four legs was kinda weird, but I figured it out fast.”

“I’m glad you had fun,” Avery said.

“I’m going to head out,” I said, rising from the table and putting my plate in the sink.

“How long will you be gone?” Ashton asked.

“Not sure. I’ll see you guys later, though,” I said.

I bent to kiss Avery on the lips, but she turned her head at the last second, presenting her cheek instead. I kissed her, but felt the disappointment in her rebuke.

Disappointment, but not surprise. I had no one to blame but myself.

Once I was in the truck, I dialed the number I’d gotten from when Kyle called Avery, hoping it wasn’t a burner phone. Thankfully, it turned out to be his real number. He answered after only a couple rings.

“This is Kyle Alexander, and if I’m not mistaken, I bet this is Cole Garrett. How did I do?”

“Good fucking guess,” I growled. “Where the hell are you? I’ve got your money. I want to be rid of you.”

“Such anger, Cole. Is that any way to talk to a friend?”

“I’m not a friend of yours. Now where the hell can we meet to make this exchange?”

Kyle sighed as though I’d ruined a fun game. “Fine. I can meet you within the hour. There’s an old, abandoned house right outside Harbor Mills, on Highway Three. You know the spot?”

The old Headrick place. It had been ancient when I was a kid, and was in even worse shape now.

“I do. I’ll see you. You’ll have your money, and then I don’t want to see your face in Harbor Mills again.”

“Question, Cole? Are you gonna bring that tight little piece of ass of yours to the meet-up? I enjoy having a good view when I do business.”

Ignoring him, I hung up and dialed Trent. There was no way in hell I was going to meet that piece of shit alone. Not without backup.

“What’s up?” Trent asked.

“Get ready. I’m meeting Kyle in half an hour with the money. I’ll pick you up in a minute.”

Trent’s voice was dangerously calm. “See you soon.”

I shot Farrah a quick text telling her what was going down, then put the truck into reverse.

Casting one final look at Avery’s house, I backed out of the driveway.

It enraged me that I had to go and do this when I’d rather be in there with Avery and my son.

I could be spending this morning trying to repair my fuckup with Avery.

I could be talking about shifting, comic books, and basketball with my son.

Instead, I was driving out to the middle of nowhere to pay a loan shark money I couldn’t afford to lose.

It all pissed me off, and I hadn’t calmed down by the time I got to Trent’s.

Trent stepped outside, a telltale bulge at his waistband under his shirt. His gun. Good emergency plan. Being a shifter was great because we were faster and stronger, but a bullet to the head killed us as easily as it did a human.

“Good to go?” I asked as Trent got in the car.

“Good. Do you want to inform the pack or anything?”

“Why?” I asked, looking at him like he’d lost his mind.

“You’re the acting alpha. Should we let them know what’s going down?”

“No reason,” I said. “Once Kyle is paid, this all goes away. No reason to stress anyone else out.”

“Whatever you say.”

Kyle was already at the meeting spot when we arrived. He stood beside a black sedan, looking wholly unconcerned with anything. He could have been waiting on a bus or to go have lunch rather than waiting for an illicit payment.

“Wonderful to see you again, Cole.” He sneered a grin at me as Trent and I got out of the car. The grin faded a bit when he glanced in Trent’s direction.