Page 7
COLE
I n the span of a few seconds, my entire world had been turned upside down, shaken, and then thrown out the window. I had a son? Was this really fucking happening?
Millions of thoughts and emotions surged through me. How could I have abandoned Avery? I’d let her raise my child by herself for fifteen years. Farrah had lied to both of us. That made it all worse. Why would my sister have lied? Why ?
“Okay, Mom? I know you said go to my room, but?—”
“Oh my God, Ashton, what did I say?” Avery snapped, jamming her fists onto her hips. She’d always done that when she was mad.
The boy was staring at us, a pensive look on his face, his eyes dancing from his mother to me.
Each time he glanced my way, I had the surreal feeling that I was looking in a mirror—a mirror from twenty years before, but a mirror, nonetheless.
There was no denying it. No hiding the truth. The kid was mine.
That was when I noticed his black eye, and the bruise on Avery’s cheek.
What was that from? Who’d done that? Despite all the years, heartache, and time between Avery and me, a sudden and surprising rage filled me.
Someone had put their hands on them. Though, this was obviously not the time to address that.
“I know,” Ashton said. “But I want to know what’s going on.”
Avery took a deep and steadying breath. Even though she wasn’t looking at me, I could tell by her body language that she was doing her best to remain as calm as possible.
My inner wolf whined, both from seeing the woman we loved after so long, and from feeling the anger radiating off her. Anger directed at us.
“Ashton, give me a few minutes, okay? I need to talk to your… er… I mean, I need to talk to this technician about, uh, the water. All right?”
Ashton rolled his eyes and pointed at me. “ Technician ? Mom, seriously. Look at this guy. Look at me. He’s?—”
“Please.” Avery was almost begging now. I could feel my own heart tearing at the desperate sound of her voice. “A few minutes, Ashton.”
The boy’s shoulders slumped then, and he looked like he was on the verge of tears.
I’d known about him for less than three minutes, and already I wanted to jump in and say something.
Make it better somehow. But I had no place here.
I’d forsaken my say-so by walking out on Avery all those years ago and never even trying to make contact.
As Ashton turned and slowly shuffled down the hall, I wondered what his life had been like without a father to guide him.
As though the kid could read my thoughts, he stopped and turned to look at me. I didn’t miss the unspoken warning in his eyes: Don’t fuck with my mom .
Fair enough, kid. I’ll do my best.
Once he was gone, Avery pushed me back out to the porch and closed the door behind her, giving us more privacy.
“Avery, I swear I didn’t know,” I said, holding my hands out, pleading.
She stood silent for several long moments, rubbing her temple. Finally, she said, “Let me get this totally clear. You’re saying that neither Farrah nor your dad ever told you?”
I shook my head. “No. I never knew. They said nothing to me about it.”
“Well, what did they say?” Avery said, fire returning to her eyes.
“When you asked about me? Or—” her lips curled into an angry sneer “—did you never ask? Did you forget all about me the moment you left town? What did you do? Head straight for Atlanta or Charlotte and fuck the first hot chick who walked by? ‘Screw Avery and the baby I put in her belly? Fuck all the sweet words I told her and the plans we made?’ Is that what you did?”
Each word was like a slap in the face. And I was beginning to think I deserved it.
“I’m telling you, Avery. This is all brand-new information. If I’d known we were having a baby together, I never would have left.”
“Bullshit!” She shoved me in the chest, and I staggered back a step.
“I already told you what Farrah said. She told me you didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby.
Told me you wanted me to ‘get rid of it.’ That’s when I realized we were truly done.
You can act like it was all a lie, but if she wasn’t telling the truth, then why did you never contact me again?
You sure as shit acted like you wanted me out of your life forever. Why wouldn’t I believe that?”
All I could do was gape at her. Explanations streamed through my mind like sand in an hourglass, but they all sounded lame and ridiculous.
Her impression of what I’d done sounded exactly like the kind of thing a jackass who didn’t care about her would do.
All these years, I’d regretted what I’d done, and now I had to face the heartache and sadness I’d left in my wake.
“I tried contacting you,” Avery said. “Of course, you canceled your phone. I guess you got a new email address, too, because I tried that. Every social media page went dark. You fucking ghosted me, Cole.”
All the blood seemed to have drained from my body. I needed to defend myself here. Whether I deserved forgiveness or not, I needed to get my point across.
“I’m not lying, Avery. I only spoke to my father two or three times after leaving, so of course he didn’t say anything about it.
As for Farrah, she said…” I trailed off, realizing how stupid it would sound coming out of my mouth, but it was the truth.
“I did ask her about you. She told me you met someone at college, and that you guys got married and moved away together.”
“I met a guy and got married? Really ?” Avery asked, her tone bitter and incredulous.
“It’s the truth. You have to believe that.”
“I did leave town, yes,” Avery said, shaking her head sadly.
“I left because my grandmother died, Cole. She passed away, and the man I loved left me without a word of warning, and I was pregnant with his child. I didn’t want to start in the town that had caused me so much heartache.
I left to get a fresh start with my baby boy. ”
Taking a few steps back, I breathed in deeply to calm the hot fury that swelled like acid in my chest. My anger wasn’t directed at Avery, though.
No, it was reserved for the people who were supposed to be my family.
My father and Farrah had let me live a lie for fifteen years.
It didn’t surprise me that my father had been involved.
We hadn’t ended things amicably, and I could see him being bitter enough to keep the information to himself.
But Farrah? My baby sister? How could she have done this? Why would she have done this?
My mind slid back to the phone call with Ricky, and I wondered if he knew?
Him or Chris or any of the other betas Dad had run off, had they found out and pressured Dad about it?
No, Ricky would have told me. It hadn’t felt or sounded like he was hiding from me when we talked.
If he’d known, he would have asked or let it slip.
Clenching my fists, I suppressed a shudder of rage.
“I hope you aren’t about to chew me out over this,” Avery said, eyeing me as I struggled with my emotions. “Because if you are, I’m going to tell you to get the fuck out right now.”
I shrugged, pushing down the anger that threatened to overwhelm me. “No,” I said. “It’s not you I’m upset with, it’s Farrah. I don’t understand why she’d keep this from me. I swear to you, I’m going to talk to her and find out what her deal was.”
“I don’t care about all that, Cole.” The bitter tone in her voice vanished, and now she simply sounded exhausted. “Farrah and I never liked each other, so I couldn’t care less about her or what she did or didn’t do at this point. There’s only one reason I’m back here, and that’s for Ashton.”
Ashton. The word bounced through my head, a ping-pong ball of sadness and regret.
That was my son’s name. Ashton . A good, strong name.
A name I should have known, a name that should have been special to me.
Now, because of my asshole family and my being a dumbass, I’d never had the chance to know it.
Regret washed over me, settling deep in my bones.
First tooth, first step, first word, first ball game, first birthday—I’d missed it all.
Each milestone celebrated, while I was living a life that had always felt empty.
I’d lost a decade and a half of my boy’s life, and that time would never come back.
I never had the chance to hold him when he was a baby.
I’d never laugh at the way he smeared food on himself in a high chair, or cradle him as he cried from a skinned knee.
It was like losing someone you loved. For a few seconds, I imagined myself standing in a cemetery, but instead of a coffin being lowered into the ground, it was all the aspects of my son’s childhood that I’d missed out on.
My inner wolf writhed in misery. Tears threatened to choke me, but I swallowed them down before I fell apart.
“He’s going through puberty,” Avery said. “He needs a pack. We came back here with the hope that your father would accept him into the pack and guide him through the changes he’s going through.”
“Of course,” I blurted. “Of course we’ll accept him. We’ll help him through it, I promise you that, Avery.” I lowered my voice, preparing to beg if needed. “Would you be okay if, while we bring him into the pack, I got to know my son? I’d… well, I’d love to not be a stranger in his life.”
I’d never imagined being a dad. Not once, in all the years I was away, had it ever occurred to me or felt like a real possibility.
Now, a strange and fervent excitement filled me.
Excitement and worry. Would I be a good father?
Would Avery allow me the chance? Would the boy even want to get to know me?
“Like you have been for fifteen years?” Avery asked, ripping me from my thoughts, her eyes narrowing.
“I deserve that. I do. I can’t change the past, Avery, I know that. The thing is, I can change the future. If you’ll let me.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7 (Reading here)
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
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- Page 12
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