Page 9
“I’d already told you a made-up story about how Avery was fucking another guy and had basically forgotten about you.
I told Avery you didn’t give a shit about her and you wanted her to forget you and abort the baby.
What would you have done when I suddenly said, ‘ Oh, sorry, I was lying. You guys still belong together, and by the way, Cole, you have a kid .’ At best, you’d think I was trying to stir shit up for no reason after all these years.
” She swallowed hard. “Tell me, Cole, right now, after what I told you, if I’d come to you after Dad died and told you the truth, would you have believed me? ”
I stared at her, remembering how upset I was when she told me Avery had gotten with a new guy so soon after I’d left.
It had gutted me, although it had also given me a bit of comfort that she’d been able to move on with her life.
After a few years, I’d accepted it, but the heartache was never far behind.
Farrah was right. If I hadn’t seen Ashton with my own eyes, hadn’t spotted the uncanny resemblance to myself, I wouldn’t have believed it.
None of that lessened my anger, though. Regardless of what she thought I would or wouldn’t believe, she should have told me.
“That wasn’t for you to decide,” I hissed through gritted teeth. “You didn’t have the right to withhold that.”
Farrah nodded. Again, she couldn’t meet my eyes.
“Yeah. I realize that now.” She shook her head sadly.
“You know how it is. Once a lie is told, it takes on a life of its own. The longer it goes, the harder it is to reel it back in. Avery never liked me, and it broke her heart when I told her what Dad wanted me to. Even if you’d believed me, she wouldn’t.
So, I took my shame and left town, praying you’d never find out the truth.
I never, in a million years, thought Avery would come back here.
Even if the baby was yours and he needed a pack to thrive, I assumed she hated this place so much she’d find one somewhere else for her kid. I’m sorry.”
I was an alpha, and with that came the blessing and the curse of being able to sense lies from members of my pack. Farrah was telling the truth. Her remorse appeared real, and there was no way to go back in time. All I could do now was move forward.
“That son of a bitch,” I muttered, shaking my head in disgust. “Dad’s dead, yet somehow he’s still making my life hell. He simply couldn’t let me be with Avery.” Again, crushing regret and sadness threatened to overwhelm me.
“What do you want to do now?” Farrah asked.
“No clue. I already told Avery we’d accept Ashton into the pack. She said she’d talk to the kid about it. I guess now I wait for her to get back to me.”
“Do we tell the pack about it? About him?”
In returning to Harbor Mills, I’d taken on the mantle of pack alpha.
Everyone had been all for it because the pack likely wouldn’t have survived the ensuing chaos from not having an heir.
It probably would have splintered, or worse.
Now I was in charge of around two hundred people.
Would they be happy that I had an heir, or would they be confused and angry because no one had told them?
I had no doubt that their vitriol would be aimed at my father rather than me.
From everything I’d heard, his last few years had been a quick downfall from a respected leader to a secretive and angry dictator.
“We’ll wait,” I said. “No reason to tell everyone until Avery and Ashton make a decision. Who knows, they might decide to pack up and leave tomorrow.”
My wolf whined at that, and I couldn’t blame him. It sent a ball of lead into my gut as well. Now that I knew I had a son, all I wanted was to get to know him. The idea of him vanishing from my life so soon after I’d discovered him was almost too much to stand.
“Makes sense, I guess,” Farrah said.
My chest ached as if I’d taken a punch to the sternum. My wolf thrashed about in my mind, desperate to be let out. It had been ages since I’d gone on a run. I needed it, and so did the wolf inside me. We both needed to blow off some steam.
I stood and ran a hand over my face. “I’m going for a run.”
Farrah looked surprised. “Oh. Okay. Do, uh, do you want me to go with you?”
“No.”
She flinched at my harsh tone. Taking a steadying breath, I tried to explain.
“It’s not personal, Farrah. I just…” I shrugged. “I need some time. To process all this.”
“I get it,” she said.
Without another word, I went outside. The smell of pine trees hit me.
The forest, inviting and cool, lay beyond Farrah’s porch.
Sniffing the air, I took in the sweet scent of decaying leaves, rich earth, and wildflowers.
I bounded down the steps, shifting in mid-air, my four paws meeting the ground when I landed.
My wolf body thrummed with energy as I raced for the forest.
A strange sense of déjà vu burst into my mind as I entered the woods.
It had been years since I’d run through these trees in my wolf form—a day or two before I’d left Harbor Mills, if I remembered correctly.
A few days before I’d made the worst mistake of my life.
It was crazy how a young man’s decision, fueled by anger and hate, could ruin the lives of three people.
For over an hour, I let my wolf have free rein.
My human consciousness sank back to the periphery, and the wolf padded through the undergrowth, speeding along like a demon.
Paws skirted over moss, dirt, and leaves, even as twigs and branches clawed at our fur.
We didn’t stop or slow, as though sheer speed could allow us to outrun the terrible yet amazing truth we’d discovered.
The wolf needed this as much—maybe even more—than I did.
Though I’d thought my consciousness had given total control of our body over to my wolf, it appeared I’d remained in charge of the route we took because we padded up to a house I knew well.
When I got word that my father had died and Harbor Mills needed me to step up as alpha, I’d decided I needed a good right-hand man to help me.
Someone who would have my back no matter what.
Trenton Monroe, my best friend from childhood.
We’d gone through our first shift together.
He’d enlisted in the military right after we graduated high school, and rather than returning home to Harbor Mills when he got out of the military, he contacted me and headed out west to join me in several of my business ventures.
If there was anyone I could vent to and get good advice from, it was Trent.
When I’d called him up and asked him to return home with me, I thought he might decline.
To my surprise, he’d agreed wholeheartedly and confessed that he’d started missing home, anyway.
When we came back to Harbor Mills a few weeks ago, I moved into the alpha house and Trent moved into his parents’ old place, which had stood empty ever since their death ten years ago.
After shifting back, I walked up to his front door and pounded on it. A moment later, Trent opened it with a smile.
“Bro, you didn’t call. I didn’t know you were…” The smile faded from his lips when he got a good look at my face.
“What happened?” he asked. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks, same to you, buddy,” I said as I stepped inside.
Trent followed me to the kitchen, where I sank onto a barstool. “Can I get a drink?” I said.
“Beer’s in the fridge.”
I shook my head. “Something stronger.”
“Jack and Coke coming right up,” Trent said.
He made the drink while I stewed on everything. Once he handed it to me, I slammed it back, draining the glass in a matter of seconds.
“All right, what the fuck is going on?” Trent asked as he popped the top off a beer.
“Do you remember Avery Carlisle?”
Trent grinned. “How could I forget? Homecoming queen, hottest girl in school. Everyone wanted her, and Mr. Cole Garrett won her over.” He frowned a little. “Why? You said you guys broke up and you hadn’t seen her in years.”
Trent had never returned to Harbor Mills after getting out of the service. He’d left three years before I did. He didn’t know the actual truth.
“So, you know that whole amicable breakup I told you about?” I asked.
Trent’s eyes narrowed, and he put his beer bottle down. “This is gonna be bad, isn’t it?”
“You could say that.”
I told him everything. I was too ashamed of the reason I’d left, so I’d spent all these years lying to my best friend.
I’d told him that Avery and I broke up, and only then did I get in a fight with my old man, which resulted in me leaving.
Now, I told him the truth. And then I told him about seeing Avery again, about Ashton, followed by the revelation that Dad had forced Farrah to lie.
When I was done, Trent stared at me in dumbfounded shock.
“You’re fucking serious,” he said in a near whisper.
“I am.” I grabbed his beer and chugged it. “God, sometimes I wish it was easier for shifters to get drunk,” I said after finishing it.
“So, you’ve got a son you never knew about. What are you gonna do?”
“Wait and see what Avery and Ashton want to do.” I shook my head. “I’m so fucking mad, Trent. I can barely see straight.”
“I would be, too. No doubt. Why the hell would your father do that to you?”
I let out a humorless bark of a laugh. “He knew he’d die one day. Probably thought, even though I was gone, I’d end up with a nice, respectable shifter woman who I’d bring back to take over when he kicked the bucket. That, or he was being a spiteful asshole. Both options are possible.”
“Are you gonna try and patch things up with Avery?” Trent asked.
“I don’t know if I can. That bridge may be burned beyond repair. I’ve known for twenty years that she’s my fated mate, but a mate has to love you back. I’m not sure if she could ever love me again.”
Trent eyed me speculatively. He could always see through my bullshit, the same way Avery could.
“You’re worried about becoming your father.”
I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t know what kind of mate I’ll be. It’s been so long. What if I end up breaking her heart the way my father broke my mother’s?”
“First of all, you aren’t a cock-sucking douchebag like your dad,” Trent pointed out.
“Second of all, you care about Avery. I’ve watched woman after woman try to tempt tall, dark, and brooding Cole Garrett.
They all last two, maybe three months—if they’re lucky.
You can’t see yourself with another woman because you’ve always been thinking about the one who got away. ”
Part of the reason I’d left all those years ago was that exact thing Trent was talking about, though I’d never admitted that out loud.
Dad had pissed me off when he told me to end my relationship with Avery, and I’d run because of it.
But the true fuel behind my departure was the subconscious fear that if I mated with Avery, I’d somehow break her heart beyond redemption.
The terror that I’d devastate her the way my old man had ruined my mother was reason enough to bolt at the first opportunity I got.
It was shitty, and stupid, and now I was paying the price.
“I’m scared, Trent,” I admitted. “I’m scared that no matter what I do, it won’t be the right thing. That I’ll hurt someone I care about.”
“I get that,” he said. “But you have to think about whether or not you can live with yourself if you don’t do what you know you need to.
Are you going to stick around and be the alpha your pack needs, the father your son deserves, and the man Avery can rely on?
Will you do that? Or are you going to let your fear rule your whole life? ”
I arched an eyebrow. “When the fuck did you become a philosopher?’
“They teach that right after the ass-kicking part of basic training,” Trent quipped. “Want another drink?”
“God, yes. Today’s been rough.”
“You can say that again.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
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- Page 9 (Reading here)
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