Page 54

“It’s okay,” I said automatically.

“No, it’s not. You are a real dad. I’m glad you’re my father. I was just angry, and I said stuff I didn’t mean.”

I swallowed hard. “It’s okay if you meant it. I probably deserved it.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Ashton said. “Not really.”

“I appreciate you saying that.” My hands were tingly and numb. The fear and worry of what he’d say, of what I might say, filled me with anxiety.

“Why won’t you fight for us?” Ashton stared at me with a heartbreaking kind of confusion, like he couldn’t imagine a possible reason I wouldn’t.

“I’m worried for my mom,” he went on. “I’m scared she’s going to go back to being sad all the time.

Things have just started to get better. Do you actually love her? Really?”

God, kids really knew how to cut right through the bullshit and hit you where it hurt.

At what age did people start hiding that talent?

My heart ached at the thought of Avery. My wolf wanted her, I wanted her, but were we good enough for her?

Could I keep her safe? All questions I couldn’t answer for sure.

“I do love your mother, Ashton. I never stopped loving her,” I said.

“But things are dangerous. You guys shouldn’t be in Harbor Mills.

It’s not about fighting, it’s about surviving.

You’re young, and it may not make a lot of sense, but I love you and your mom too much to let you stay here and be in danger.

Sometimes—” I felt the burn of tears but choked them back “—when you love someone, you have to do hard things that you don’t want to do. ”

Ash’s shoulders slumped, and the sadness on his face was almost too much to take. “Uh.” He glanced at me awkwardly. “Um, can I have a hug at least? Before we leave?”

“Yeah, buddy. Yeah, you can,” I said. Tears spilled from my eyes now.

Ashton lunged for me, wrapping his arms around my back and holding me tight. I squeezed him back. How could I ever let him go? My boy. He was my boy.

“This won’t be forever,” I said. “When this is over, when the pack is settled, I’m coming for you and your mom. I promise. I won’t let you guys go.”

“Really?” Ashton’s voice was muffled in my shoulder.

“I promise. You’re right. I should fight for you, but I need you to be safe first. I promise you, I’ll come for you.”

Ashton pulled away, wiping at his eyes. “I’d like that. I think Mom would, too, even though she probably won’t say it.”

“Things are going to work out,” I said. “Don’t worry about anything.”

He nodded and glanced at the door. “I guess I should go.”

“Yeah. Uh, I guess you have some packing to do.”

Ashton gave a half-hearted shrug. “Sort of. Will I see you again before we leave?”

“Definitely. I’ll make sure of it.”

I opened the door and waved to Ashton as he shifted and sprinted into the forest to head home.

Guilt weighed heavily on me, but my decision was made.

Unlike my father, I would learn from my mistakes.

I’d make sure to do the right thing. Whatever it took, I’d win Avery back. Once I knew she was safe.

I got back to work in the office. Anything to get my mind off Ashton and Avery. Something that I could use as proof that Kyle was full of shit.

An hour passed, and I’d gone through nearly everything I could think of. All that was left was a filing cabinet at the back of the room labeled “Deeds.” Most likely, the deeds to all the houses and businesses the pack owned. Nothing in there would help me, but I decided to flip through it, anyway.

It was alphabetized, and as I scanned through the files, I came to the “C” section and froze. I had to blink a few times to be sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing.

After a tab labeled “Carter Tire and Service” and before one labeled “Davis Street Duplex” was a file with my name on it.

Why, in a cabinet full of property deeds, was there a file with my name written on it?

Unlike the others, it wasn’t printed on a nice and neat sticker.

This had been written in my father’s own handwriting.

With trembling fingers, I pulled the manilla folder out.

It was thin. Inside was a letter, a small slip of paper attached with a paperclip, and an old photograph of a baby.

Even as young as he was, Ashton was staring back at me from the photo.

My eyes flicked to the top of the letter, and I read what my father had left me.

C ole,

If you’re reading this, it means I have gone to the big rocking chair in the sky. I probably drank myself to death. I know I have a problem, but I can’t seem to figure out how to stop. It is what it is, I suppose.

I’m putting this letter here to make it difficult for anyone to find. My hope is that you find it in time for it to make a difference, though I don’t hold much hope. Things are looking pretty goddamn bad at this point.

Anyway, I suppose you’ve discovered that things in Harbor Mills aren’t exactly the way they should be. That’s putting it mildly. Actually, I’ve fucked up. I fucked up bad, son, and I’m sorry. My life didn’t go the way I wanted it to, and I dragged you and your sister along for the shitty ride.

First and foremost, I want to apologize to you and Farrah for what I did all those years ago.

I betrayed your mother’s love and trust, and I truly believe it was my infidelity that drove her to a young death.

I’ve carried that grief around for a long time.

Of course, as you know, instead of dealing with it in a healthy way, I chose to be a dick.

More than a dick, I chose to stop being your father.

I decided it was better to be a shitheel and to make your lives as miserable as mine.

For that, I can never apologize enough. There is no apology for the awful things I’ve done, and one of my greatest regrets is that I didn’t realize it until now, when it’s too late to make a change.

I fear that I will never see you and your sister again before I move on to the next life, or whatever happens when we die.

I’d love to say it was because I didn’t know how to find you, but I know where you both are.

I’ve followed your lives as best as I could since you left.

No. The truth is, I’m a coward, and I don’t think I could bear the look I’d see in your eyes or the tone I’d hear in your voices.

There is more you have to know, Cole. More that I don’t think I could have brought myself to tell you in life.

It is, without a doubt, one of the two worst things I’ve done.

You are a father. This may come as a shock and surprise, but it’s true.

Your girl, your mate, Avery Carlisle, was pregnant with a child when you left.

She went to Farrah when she found out, and even though your sister didn’t believe it, she told me about it.

I knew the girl well enough to know she’d never lie about something like that.

I forced Farrah to tell her that you wanted nothing to do with the woman or a baby.

I’m ashamed to say I used my alpha influence on your sister.

I was angry with you and knew that if you came back, you’d take her as your mate forever, and I was too stupid to realize that was what was best for you.

Farrah left not long after, angry and bitter at the way I’d forced her to follow my instructions.

I’m sorry, Cole. You’ve missed being a father, and all because of me.

I lie awake at night thinking about how much better you would have been than me at that one job.

I took that from you, and for that, I know you’ll never forgive me.

All I can say is, please try to make contact with Avery.

Find her and your child. The child deserves to know you.

Attached, you’ll find a picture of the baby.

It’s a boy. Avery mailed it to me not long after he was born, along with a very angry letter telling me to go fuck myself.

His name is Ashton, and he looks just like you, son.

I look at the photo of my grandson every night, and I can say without shame that every night, I lie in bed sobbing about the grandchild I missed out on, sobbing for the life I cost you.

As for my second greatest mistake? If you’ve been back in town long, I’m sure you’ve discovered that things are not right with the pack.

Money is missing, my enforcer and betas have all been run off, the bills are piling up, and, most likely, you’ve met a man named Kyle Alexander.

I won’t bore you with the details, but this man is an evil, dark cloud that’s hung over me for over a year at this point.

He’s dangerous and sadistic. Watch out for him.

That being said, I named Dallas as the alpha of our pack.

I wrote up a new will and claimed him as my heir.

At first, I did it because I panicked, knowing the pack would be without a true alpha in the event of my death.

I also wanted to try and make amends with Dallas.

However, I believe Dallas was coerced or threatened by Kyle Alexander to get close to me and agree to be named the new pack alpha.

I have a hunch that everything has been orchestrated by that evil man.

He wants full control of Harbor Mills, and I have no doubt once Dallas is formally announced, it will only be a matter of time before your brother is either killed or forced to abdicate.

I assume Dallas will name Kyle as alpha before either of those situations comes to pass.

It’s another aspect of my life ruined by the liquor I’ve been drowning myself in.

Had I been fully sober, I’d have probably seen it from a mile away.

All I know is that I can’t let this continue.

I have to fix it. Kyle has the original will, which was signed and notarized.

I doubt he’ll mail that to the state until you are out of the way.