Page 5

“How dare you tell him about my cake addiction? That’s like treason.” I accused and Raina raised her brows slowly, testily, as she opened the door of the Library.

In the summer, Raina and I didn’t cover the same shifts, but during school when the Library was busy and more people were needed on nights, those in class covered the nights while the owner and her daughter covered the days.

The owner’s daughter, Jocelyn, or Joss, is a woman I’ll always look at as my saving grace.

She took me in and gave me a job when I needed one desperately.

Not only to make my bills and keep my booty off the street, but also to keep my sanity.

I’m not one of those girls who could handle flaunting my assets in a bar or club for a nice payday.

I don’t handle men well, if you haven’t already read as much into me.

I also don’t handle bossy people, so working as a unit clerk or something equally as demanding is also another no-go.

I was at one of the computers in this very library, searching for a job with a frightening desperation, when Joss approached me. She asked me a few odd questions and wham, bam, thank-you ma’am—I had a job!

I’ve been here ever since. That was three and a half years ago.

I now held the responsibility of hiring and scheduling.

Joss doesn’t let me fire people as I can be quite blunt—aka insensitive, but she says eventually she’ll get me there.

“You just need some living under your belt, my girl.” I could hear her sweetly croaked words in my mind as a prequel to Raina’s high-pitched denial.

“Excuse me? Treason?” She scoffed. “You want to talk treason?”

“I do.”

“All right,” she planted her hands on her hips. “What do you call packing my bag for camping and packing nothing but lingerie? What’s that if it’s not treason?”

It’s all I could do to keep from snorting in laughter. While Raina and Kaiden were dancing around the formations of what is now their relationship, I dabbled a bit in Cupid’s art. I found to my shock that it was totally fun and I’d absolutely do it again.

“That’s completely different. You and Kaiden were already making eyes at each other. I don’t want eyes from Beckett.”

“You just don’t realize you want eyes from him. But believe me, you want eyes.” She snorted. “You want more than the eyes.”

“I really don’t.” I didn’t have to be a person who never smiled for Raina to know that I was serious. She knew. She knew me better than pretty much anyone, and she knew I was serious.

“Mar,” she started, and I just knew I wasn’t going to like whatever nonsense she was going to give me. “You’ve gotta open up eventually. For goodness sakes, honey, you’re always so tight and—and impenetrable. Let him pop your,”

“If you say cherry I’ll hurt you.”

She smiled that bright as day Raina smile, and I scowled. I have the art of scowling down to perfection.

“Let him pop your safe little bubble. Let him get through your wall and you might actually find you’re happy.”

“I am happy.”

“You’re content. You think you’re safe, but you’re not really living.”

“You sound like Maddy. She’s always spewing on about the importance of living.”

Raina flinched. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know why, but I feigned ignorance. Acknowledging my mistake was just too hard. Too emotional. Too much.

I shouldn’t have said what I said.

“We both know why living is important to Maddy.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sliding my bag from my shoulder, I gave it a light kick under my desk. I was hoping the night would be lax because I had a wicked amount of homework haunting the tail of every thought.

“She lost the one person she loved. The person who showed her how to live,” Raina continued.

I felt my spine straighten painfully in my back.

“Maybe you need someone brave enough to show you how to live. How to love. How to laugh, Mar. Maybe you need someone strong enough to show you that life isn’t about being safe.

It’s about taking risks and letting your heart love so that you can be loved in return. ”

When I finally turned around to reply, Raina was gone.

I didn’t see Raina for the rest of the night, but I didn’t actually look for her either. After powering through the cart of books Joss left for me, I cracked my books and got down to my homework. I finished just before we closed.

Now I was walking through the door of the condo I shared with Beckett, which was within walking distance to work and the university—something I never could have afforded before him. My heart was feeling heavy and I had to fight myself to keep from texting Raina with an apology.

I’d eventually have to face the words I’d thoughtlessly said, but doing so through text would be low and I’ve let my low fall as far as I can.

I knew Maddy’s story. It was the kind of story you want to read about because it would remind your heart to live.

It’d revive your stagnant soul and remind you to take that moment to stop and smell the flowers.

It was the kind of story that inspires and breaks your heart in the same sentence.

The kind you want to read about—but not the kind of story where you want to know the main character in any personal sense of the word.

It’s not the kind of story you wish upon anyone, not even someone you dislike.

And as much as I hated to admit it, I loved Maddy.

I dropped my bag onto the couch as I shuffled into the kitchen, watching Beckett the entire time. He never even lifted his head. He was hunched over a mess of books and papers that stretched across the island.

“Hey,” I greeted and his gold eyes flicked to me.

He looked exhausted and I thought back to every other night this week.

I’ve come home from work to find him just like this.

He’s always hunched over his books at this counter.

I’d have a bubble bath with candles and a good book before bed, and he’s still hunched over this counter when I crawl between my sheets.

I didn’t have the faintest idea when the man actually called it quits.

“How was work?” He tipped his head from side to side, cracking his neck.

I cringed. “Should you be cracking bones? Aren’t you in med school now? Isn’t that like a call for arthritis?”

“Myth,” he replied. “And med school blows.”

“I have to agree there.” I said in response to his med school comment. “You’ve been pretty busy with homework.”

“And studying. How my parents did this is beyond me.”

“You’re doing it.” I shrugged, trying to sound encouraging as I opened the fridge. And that’s when I saw it. The raspberry juice. I finished off the last glass this morning and had meant to pick some up at the store on my way home from work.

I couldn’t believe he thought of it with everything else on his mind.

“It’s hard as balls, though.” He mumbled, watching me pull the juice from the fridge.

I didn’t acknowledge his gesture as I poured a glass. That’s just not the girl I was. “You want some?”

“Sure.” He was looking back down at his papers when I slid the glass toward him. “So happy tomorrow’s Friday. I don’t know how you’re working and going to school.”

“I get most of my studying done on shift. That’s what happens when you’ve got kickass bosses.” I replied, sipping my juice. “Besides, I highly doubt my courses are anything like yours.”

He grunted and I took that as my hint that our conversation was officially finished.

I turned with my juice in hand and made my way to the bathroom where I would prepare a hot bath with bubbles and candles.

Some people sought others as a source of therapy for past pains.

Me? Not so much. I found long ago that there weren’t many pains that couldn’t be healed when submerged by hot, softly scented waters.

I inhaled the deep scent of lavender as I stripped off my clothes, letting the fabric fall to the center of the floor.

When I sunk deep into the bubbles, I let my eyes close as I rested my head on the lip of the tub.

And where I usually discharged with the happenings of my day, I instead thought of Beckett.