Page 24

Skiing in the mountains with Beckett was most definitely sketched into my book of “life highlights.” He was good.

I wasn’t nearly as skilled, but he was patient and gentle in his teachings.

Like everything Beckett did with me, there was a ton of teasing that had my heart fluttering wildly in my chest.

Both Raina and Kaiden were insanely good at skiing, and had long since ditched Beckett and me on the hill.

Maddy was in the chalet, working on writing another book.

Her first had been picked up by a publisher—total eek moment—and although this second one she was writing had been top-secret, it made her happy, so it made the rest of us happy.

The last time we’d been in the chalet had been for lunch and Maddy had been on her tenth, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit here, cup of coffee.

She was jittery and excited and rosy-cheeked with happiness while the rest of us were rosy-cheeked from the December chill.

It was the last run of the day and we were expecting to return home to Raina and Kaiden’s parents at the cabin.

Beckett had hidden a key for them and told them where they could find their rooms, so we weren’t in a hurry to return, but I had to admit my legs were sore and I was getting cold.

A warm bath was definitely being scribbled into the plans for tonight.

I was thinking about this when I stopped, like a girl who knew a thing or two about her skis, beside Beckett outside the chalet. I twisted out of my skis, feeling a little wobbly as I stepped onto the packed snow.

“You’ll be an expert by the end of our trip.” He said, grinning hugely. “We’ll have to get you your own pair so we can come out more often.”

Maybe I could afford skis—my rent was cheaper now and I had a tiny bit of savings stored in my account. Maybe . . .

I shrugged, “We’ll see.”

He chuckled.

I followed Beckett to the ski return cabin, thinking that I was actually excited for tomorrow.

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. We had plans to lounge around the cabin, spending time with the family and, although Raina didn’t know it, Kaiden was going to propose.

I was so freaking excited to see her face—and the ring.

Honestly, I couldn’t believe the guy hadn’t shown me already.

Admittedly, I was a little peeved about this, but my excitement for my friend was greater.

We grabbed Maddy from the chalet on our way to meet Raina and Kaiden beside Beckett’s truck. Raina had pulled the box open and was sitting, swinging her booted feet from side to side as she drank from a can of pop.

“Finally,” she hopped down, grinning. “How much did Beckett teach you?”

“Not enough for me to keep up with you.”

“She’s pretty good.” Beckett said, and then he started laughing. “She sings.”

My head swung to the side and my wide horrified eyes landed on him. “You heard me?”

“Fucking hell,” he smirked. “Adorable.”

“Okay,” I shook my head in defense. “I sing when I feel a little afraid. It calms me down.”

“Beckett’s right, Mar,” Maddy said her eyes were laughing. “That’s adorable.”

“Whatever,” I made my way to the passenger side of the truck, ready to be done with this conversation and not bothering to hide that fact in the slightest.

It was nearly a half hour later, when we were rolling into the driveway of the cabin, that I saw another really big truck parked in the drive.

The lights were on in the cabin and judging from the chimney, the parents were here and they’d made a fire.

My toes wiggled happily in my Uggs as I thought of stretching out beside the fire.

“The parents are here!” Raina screeched excitedly bouncing in the middle seat.

Beckett parked and Raina was practically pushing Kaiden from the truck, clearly eager to see her mom and dad. Again, I felt my heart squeeze in want, and when my eyes moved to Beckett, I saw he was watching me.

Then he leaned in, whispering low in my ear. “And that look on your face is why you’d make a good mom one day.”

My heart. It didn’t flutter; it melted.

Then Beckett was opening his door and climbing down from the truck.

Bringing all the skis inside so they didn’t rust, the front entrance was a disaster as we piled into the cabin.

I instantly caught the scent of something warm and nicely spiced, and my belly rumbled.

Thank goodness parents were here—that meant no cooking for me tonight because someone had taken it upon themselves to make what smelled like chili. Freaking yum.

“Mom!” Raina shrieked, bolting for her mother’s open arms. Isabelle Andrews was a stunning woman who looked like a gracefully aged version of her vibrant daughter.

And smiling the way she was right now, holding her baby girl in her arms the day before she’d be an engaged woman, I knew she loved her more than life.

“How was skiing?” Isabelle asked. “And how have you been?”

“Good and great!” Raina answered, beaming a grin up at her father.

Daniel Andrews was what I’d call a solid man.

He had morals that were his, and he’d pressed them on his daughter, but he wasn’t the type to hold a grudge when she made her own decisions for her life.

Decisions like moving in with her boyfriend before marriage.

He took her in his arms, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

“There’s my girl.” His eyes found Kaiden. “Kai,”

“Daniel.” Kaiden grinned, “Good to see you.”

“It is.”

Kaiden had already been squeezed half to death by his mother, Gracie.

She was sweeter than sweet and Madison absolutely adored her.

It was obvious by the way she closed her eyes and trembled just slightly when Gracie closed her arms around her for what Madison called a heart hug.

I’d heard of these heart hugs, and it was another reason I adored Kaiden’s parents, even though I didn’t really know them.

“I made chili,” Keith, Kaiden’s father, announced proudly, his eyes trained on me. “Heard you were the designated cook,” he winked. “Figured I’d give you a break today.”

I felt the urge to smile, but it still felt a little weird, so I just nodded, “Thank you.”

His grin never faltered. “Dinner will be ready in about an hour.”

“I’m going to grab a quick shower.” Raina said, thumbing over her shoulder as she walked backward to her room. “I’m feeling icky and sweaty.”

At the chance to escape and gather my bearings, I thumbed the stairs over my shoulder. “The same for me,” and then I was fleeing.

I was sitting on the bed in my housecoat after my shower when a tap on the door sounded. “Come in,” I called, knowing it was Beckett and my heart kicking up at notch at the thought.

When I saw him, my heart didn’t just race.

It melted. It melted and it hummed with pleasure at seeing his warm whiskey eyes land on me.

His lips quirked up at the corner in a lopsided grin as he closed the door behind him quietly.

It was when he was stepping into the room, coming closer to me, that the racing set forth full-force.

“You okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” God, I even sounded breathless. Pathetic. I’m entirely pathetic.

“You looked a little shocked to see the parents here.”

“No.” I said. “I knew they were coming.”

“I know, but seeing someone have something you want can sometimes be a little much to handle.”

My belly dropped—after it tightened into a mess of knots.

I wanted to tell him I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I did.

It was always hard to see someone who was lucky enough to have two, or even one loving parent in their lives.

It was hard, because I knew I would never have that.

I’d lost what I had—and then I’d obliterated any chance that I might have had to find that when I’d refused to talk.

Later, I was just too old for someone to want to take a chance on.

Now—now there was no chance. The only family I’d ever have for myself was the family I’d eventually make. I knew my friends were, in a way my family, but that’s not the same thing as a real honest family. The one that would love you no matter what.

Strong jean clad thighs stopped before me, but I didn’t bother lifting my eyes to his. I didn’t want him to see all the sadness that lived inside of me, shining bright and on display in a way that made me feel deeply vulnerable.

So much had happened in the last week, and even the last few months.

My life had changed. The whole view I had on the way I lived my life had changed.

I’d realized that maybe I didn’t have to hide my happy from the world, to stay safe.

Maybe I could have it all—all the beauty the other girls who weren’t so wounded, their wings clipped young, had. Maybe I could have Beckett too . . .

His thumb slipped beneath my chin and I felt my face tipping up, my eyes meeting his. Mine were heavy and rimmed in wet that, when he saw it, made his go dark. His lips parted and he pulled my body from the bed, swiftly maneuvering me into his lap.

This position wasn’t one I was in any way accustomed to.

I felt small, like a doll. I felt out of control, but in no way did my sudden lack of control make me the victim or the preyed upon.

I didn’t feel weak and I didn’t feel helpless.

I felt, and loved that I felt, as though I were something to cherish.

I felt as though I were his to cherish—not to own—but to care for.

So I didn’t think as I let instinct take over, and my arms moved around his waist, holding tightly to his strength.

I didn’t think about it when I let my face drop into his warm throat, and I didn’t think when I inhaled the pure scent of Beckett.

I didn’t think when I closed my eyes and breathed easy against a man I’d come to trust implicitly.

And when his hand began to slide, open palmed and warm along the length of my spine, I didn’t think about that either.

“Tell me you’re okay, Amara?” His voice was low and querying. I was thinking there was a bit of hesitation in his words too, but I couldn’t have been certain.

“I am.” My voice was soft and filled with emotion I was having difficulty comprehending fully.

“You know you have me, right?”

“What?” Now I was really confused.

“Me?” He kept tracing his warm palm along the length of my spine.

“You have me. I’ll be here for you when you need me for anything.

I was there for you before you let me in at all.

” I felt his lips twitch against my hairline as his hand moved to cup the back of my neck.

“I was there for you the moment I first saw you this past summer. You had me hooked, Amara, and I fell for you more and more with every lash of your tongue as we drove to Spruce Grove for Raina’s birthday. ”

The man was going to strip me down until I was filleted raw. “Beckett,”

“You’ll have me for as long as you want me.”

“You’ve got a really weird penchant for pain, you know that?”

He laughed, and then he was serious. “When it comes to you, I’ve got a penchant for anything.”

Goodness, this man was sweet in a way I wasn’t all that certain I deserved. I was a girl on guard, but I did try to be open for him. I tried to be good and kind. I tried to be helpful. I just—tried.

So when I wiggled in his lap to lift my face to his, my lips to his, it took serious guts. Guts I didn’t know I had.

But then I heard the small groan of appreciation in the back of his throat a moment before his lips started to move against mine, his hand on my neck sifting into my hair, my body turning to flames. In that moment I realized having guts was totally worth it.

It was with the ringing of his groan in my mind that I decided to screw fear. Screw holding back and screw delay. I felt things for this man that felt like ages in the making.

So when I felt the ache in my belly to be closer to him, I didn’t fight it.

I didn’t even hesitate. I twisted in his arms until I had one leg on either side of his thick body, my arms looped around his neck.

And I was still kissing him. He had one hand tossed around my waist, saving me from falling to the floor in the event I lost balance, and the other in my hair.

His mouth on mine had gone from soft and uncertain to hungry and fierce.

The ember he’d ignited in my belly burst into hot, high flames.

Suddenly, the fact that I was in my satin housecoat and only my housecoat had my body burning even hotter.

I was twenty-two years old and I’d never let myself get this hot for a man.

I was twenty-two years old and I was hungry, starving, ravaged for this intense affection.

“Beckett,” I moaned his name against his lips, and his arm tightened around me, pulling my body into his.

And that’s when I felt it—his erection. It was hard and so very there between us, pressing into my thigh.

A hot ache swept through me from the top of my head to the tip of my toes at the feel of his desire raging wild for me.

But then he pulled his mouth from mine, his warm eyes hooded and gentle. My cheeks flamed.

“Hey,” he smiled slowly. “Don’t hide now. That was—it was beautiful.”

“Beck . . .”

“I didn’t stop because I wanted to stop. I stopped because I want to take this slow with you. I want you to trust that I won’t let it go farther or faster than you’re ready to let it go.”

“I,” I didn’t know what to say.

“We only just started,” kissing my jaw, he murmured. “I have so many things I want to do to you before we get to that. So many things I want to give you.”

“Oh,” the sound was shaky. “Okay.”

“We’ll start tonight.” He declared and the butterflies in my belly were suddenly set free.

“We will?”

“Yeah baby,”

“I don’t—I don’t know.”

He was still grinning. I knew this, because I could feel it against my throat. “I do.”

Well, since I was tossing care to the wind, I decided to give him my trust. All of my trust, as I whispered, “Okay.”