Page 4 of Tamed Wolf (Rejected Mates of the Shelter #4)

Lark, Before

Fuck.

Out of all the times I’ve been scared in my life, this takes the cake.

When my heat hit a few months ago, I was terrified because I know what heats normally lead to, and there was no way in hell that Ivan or Trevor would ever allow me to go on birth control.

Do I want this baby for the sake of what they’ll be to me? Of course.

The thought of having someone to actually love, someone to fill the void that my life has quickly spiraled into feels like a hope too big to grasp. But I know that my being pregnant will simply be another thing they can use to control me.

While they’ve never physically hurt me, there are things much worse than a few bruises. The feeling of constantly feeling like I’m going crazy because they make me feel like I remembered things wrong, or constantly making me feel like I have to accept anything they want because if I don’t, they get cold and hateful and make me feel like shit about myself.

I’ve become a quick study in how to smile and keep my head down. I’m losing everything I used to love about myself, and they’ve taken everything good away from me already. Once I fully accepted them as mates, it wasn’t long until they convinced me that going to school to finish my diploma was worthless.

What need did I have for a high school diploma when they kept me so well? What was I going to do with an education, leave them and get a job?

None of my friends talk to me anymore and I haven’t heard from my parents or brother since I moved out. I’ve never felt so godsdamned alone, and I think that’s the worst part.

I’m nearly always around someone since they don’t trust me to be alone, yet I have no one that actually wants to talk to me or spend time with me. They’ve gone so far as to make sure no one at the club will even make eye contact with me, let alone speak to me. The last time someone tried to befriend me there, they got jumped in the alley and didn’t show up for anymore shifts.

Then again, I have nice clothes and a home and a bed, so what do I really have to complain about?

I splay my hands over my belly, knowing this baby is far too small to feel yet, but I know this is going to change everything again. Maybe they’ll treat me better once I give them a kid, because they have mentioned on multiple occasions how badly they want one, and since I’m the only fated mate they get, I’m the only one that can provide that for them. In that, I’m valuable.

But what happens once this kid is born? Will I become something they still want to hang around?

Some days my mind gets so dark that it’s hard to remember what it felt like before I met them when I had friends to hang out with and activities I could enjoy. Now all I’m really allowed to do is follow them around and hang out in their office and take dance classes so I can understand how hard the women in their club actually work.

That happened when I complained too many times about the attention my mates show some of the girls that work for them; I’m not dumb, I know there’s no way they’re faithful. I don’t think they’ve ever been.

In fact, I’ve figured out that they’ve pretty much slept with other women while I’m on the phone with them or in the other room doing paperwork for them, but I’m not allowed to chastise them for it because they tell me I can’t keep up with their needs.

In truth, it’s starting to feel a lot like relief when they’re with someone else because that’s one less orgasm I have to fake for them, one less time I have to get on my back for them and pretend to enjoy the awful way they touch me.

They think they’re sex gods, but if my experiences are what good sex feels like, it’s the single most over-hyped thing in this world.

They’re sweet occasionally, but most times they make me feel like a drain on their resources.

I’m looking pretty good and jaded for being 17, aren’t I?

If my friends could see me now, pregnant at 17 and with no prospects for the future, I’m sure they’d have a field day with it. They’d have enough gossip material to last them until graduation and then some.

“Lark, you coming out? Breakfast is getting cold. We need to leave soon; we don’t have time to pander to you being lazy today.”

Maybe I can just hide the pregnancy from them for a while and hope that I can figure something out.

I splash water on my face and stuff the pregnancy test into my shoe, because while they provided it, they don’t need to know I had cause to use it.

“Sorry, I can just eat on the way. I know you have a big meeting about the new property. I’m ready to go,” I tell Trevor as I open the door. Avoiding conflict has become a big hobby of mine.

“You’re not fucking eating in my car. Last time there were crumbs all over the seat from you. I’m not dealing with that again. Let’s just go, I’ll feed you later.”

I nod at him and follow him downstairs, passing by the clean kitchen. This means they didn’t even save me any food; they didn’t plan on feeding me. They’ve complained a few times about my weight, so I think they’re trying to force me to lose a few pounds.

Before we even get to the door though Ivan is laying on the horn, being rude as fuck as he makes sure I know he’s ready to go.

I take off down the stairs and hop in back, because goddess forbid they let their mate sit in front, buckling in and combing through my hair before they start commenting about how I look like shit.

When we reach the end of the driveway, Ivan slams on the brakes, skidding to avoid the mailbox that belongs to one of the neighbors.

My heart sinks to my stomach, because I didn’t think about how my scent might have changed or how obvious it would be in this incredibly small space.

Sure enough, both sets of eyes swing my way, accusatorily. “You’re pregnant. I fucking hope you haven’t realized yet, because you know you’re supposed to tell us the second you find out.”

“I-I am? How do you know?”

“You’re fucking lying,” Ivan snarls. “Your top lip twitches when you try to fake your way through something. You trying to make us look dumb? Is that it? You think we’re stupid, don’t you?”

“You know I don’t think anything like that. I just found out, okay? I’m kind of freaking out about it. It’s a big change, and I’m still really young. I don’t think a lot of girls hope to become teen moms.”

“Well, most girls don’t have us for mates,” Trevor whips at me. “Is that why you were taking so long in the bathroom? You were taking a pregnancy test, weren’t you? Where the fuck did you hide it? We’re already late, don’t make us more so.”

We’re not late at all actually, but I can’t point that out.

Hoping to cut my punishment, I slip the test out of my shoe and pass it forward, but that was the wrong choice.

When Ivan speaks again, it’s with a terrifying deadly calm tone to his voice that I just know is going to haunt me later. “The fact that you knew to hide that tells me everything I need to fucking know. You weren’t planning on telling us, were you? What was your grand plan? Run the second we had our backs turned? How far you think you would have gotten without any money? Hmm? A pretty little thing like you? You think some benevolent stranger would have just stepped forward and solved all your problems? Taken you in and made you feel good about your situation?”

Tears are welling up and I hate that they can still stir such shame in me because somewhere in my chest I know I don’t deserve this treatment, but they’re also right that I had nefarious intentions with hiding it from them.

“Maybe we should just leave her and watch her flounder. Let other idiots take a shot at her. Is that what you were hoping for, mate? You want some other wolves to sweep you off your feet and fuck you? You think they’d be impressed with the way you flop on your back and stay completely inanimate when you’re getting fucked? Why do you think we hook up with so many other women? You’re a lousy fucking lay. The only use you are to us is that pup.”

I bite my tongue until it bleeds, making sure I don’t say anything to damn myself further.

Eventually, Ivan takes a deep breath and shakes his head like he’s disappointed by me and drives in silence.

I shadow them through the meeting, taking notes for them. At lunch they order in and hand me a salad with chicken on it, no dressing or cheese or anything to make it taste remotely good, but I choke down what I can.

Then they have to visit the office for the construction company they’re hiring to do some reno work at the bigger building they’re moving their club into, and I stumble along behind them like a doll, completely ignored.

They don’t say a damn word to me all day other than to tell me to fucking write down everything that’s said in each meeting, but then they don’t even look at my notes, and I’m convinced they only made me take them so that I’d have something to keep me busy. They’re of firm minds that idle hands are devils’ play.

By the end of the day my feet are aching from standing so much (I was never offered a chair while they discussed any business deals), my head hurts from stress, and my heart is hammering away in my chest because I have a feeling that when we get home, things are going to get bad.

I spend the drive home mentally going over all the worst-case scenarios I can think of so that I’ll be prepared for anything. I imagine them hitting me, I imagine them starving me, I imagine them taking away more of my comfort items, but what actually happens is a hundred times worse.

The drive drags on and on, and when I finally look up to try and figure out where we are, I realize none of the surroundings are familiar, and the way they’re teasing each other about stupid shit is a giant red flag amidst the way they’re completely ignoring me.

They’re talking about moving things around at the house and reclaiming closet space and being able to not worry about their side pieces getting found out, right in front of me.

Nothing makes sense until they pull up somewhere that I think would send chills to the very core of any female wolf out there.

I don’t jump out of the car when they park, I start to hyperventilate and stay buckled until Ivan reaches a hand in that I ignore, only for him to crawl in and unbuckle me himself.

He pulls me out and stands me up, pulling off my shoes and jacket and cute designer top they insisted I wear today, until I’m left in nothing but thin slacks and a camisole that’s meant to be worn under something warmer with more coverage.

“I’d take the rest of your clothes too if I thought you wouldn’t fight us, but we bought these so they’re coming with us. I just want you to know, Lark, that we really fucking tried.”

Trevor nods and pats Ivan on the shoulder like he’s offering him support. “You’re not easy to live with. You’re difficult to care for and your attitude isn’t worth how great your body is or how pretty your face is. We’ve got a solution though.” He turns to Ivan to take over again and I stupidly move my head to him, praying to the goddess he’ll refute what Trevor just said.

“When we realized how stuck up and ungrateful you were, we kind of had this option in our back pocket in case we needed it. The idea of having a mate fated for us was really exciting in the beginning. We’ve had some good times, haven’t we? But the truth is, being mated isn’t as great as we thought it would be. Or maybe it’s just being mated to you . You’re always bitching at us when we act like the independent adult men we are, and you’re fucking frigid. It’s like you hate sex or something, and for a couple of wolves that own a strip club, that just won’t do.”

“This is only temporary,” Trevor promises. “This is the best place for you right now because you’ll be out of our way while you grow that kid for us and we won’t have to deal with any of the unsatisfactory side effects of pregnancy; we don’t want to see you blow up and get all fat, you dig me?”

“We’ll come back when the baby is born and make sure he’s healthy and take him off your hands, and then you can live the rest of your days here, amongst other sad women that hate men. It’s really the perfect place for you; I hear they give the residents their own rooms and everything.” Ivan steps closer and cups my face, like he used to do when they first met me and were pretending to be nice men. “I hate that you’re making us do this.”

“Then don’t fucking do it! Really, what have I ever asked for? Is it really so much to ask of you guys to treat me with the tiniest bit of respect and keep your dicks in your pants? Is it really so awful being mated to me that you want to break apart everything we’ve been building after less than a full year of being together? How is this where we’re at?”

Ivan’s hand slips to my neck and starts to subtly squeeze, warning me. “You’ll not talk to us like that. We’ve been good to you, Lark. We haven’t done you any harm. You’ve done your best to make us miserable at every turn though, and it’s affecting our mental health. A separation is best for all of us.”

They can’t reject me. I won’t allow it.

I turn and try to climb back into the car, waiting for them to drive me home, but turning my back on them was absolutely the wrong call.

Trevor grabs me by the hair, keeping a tight fist on it so I’m forced to follow his hand unless I want my hair ripped out, and no doubt he’d blame it on me if it happened. After all, it’s not him pulling my hair, it’s me working against him that’s causing me pain.

The air escapes my lungs as they lead me to the desolate front doors, Ivan checking me out like he wants to take me one more time before he lets me go, but I start thrashing, wanting nothing more than to stay with them, even if that makes me pathetic.

“Please, you’re my whole world! I love you guys, I n-need you. How can you abandon me? I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me! I’ve bent over backwards to take care of you and keep you happy, and I’m sorry, okay? I made a mistake! That’s all this was, I was going to tell you, I was! I was planning a big reveal for you, I knew how happy you’d be when you found out.”

I’m sobbing, a complete wreck, but something cuts through because Ivan steps up and kisses me sweetly, making me believe that there’s something inside of his twisted chest that acknowledges how important I am to him.

“Maybe we’ll come back for you in a few years when you’ve grown a bit. You gonna better yourself for us, sweetheart?”

Someone on the sidewalk catches my attention, someone that looks like maybe they’re a resident here, the shelter for rejected mates, and she’s watching this all play out like it’s not somebody’s life.

She meets my eye and shakes her head, taking a deep breath before striding right up to us. “That’s enough. Can’t you see you’ve broken her already? Congratulations. Get the hell out of here.”

She tries to separate me from them, which just pisses them off more because it’s no longer on their terms, and I’m clinging to them like a stupid child, wanting the comfort of their arms that I’ve felt so many times since they came into my life.

It hasn’t been all roses and sunshine, but there have been so many times I’ve laid there next to one or both of them where everything just felt so incredibly right. They’d rub my back and hold me like I was the most important thing in the world.

And they’re trying to throw that away. And I’m fucking pregnant.

“Don’t do this,” I beg them. “It’s not too late. We can just go home and pretend this didn’t happen. I swear, I’ll never even mention it! I’ll make that pasta dish you like so much, and we can crawl into bed and—"

“We reject you, Lark.”

There goes the final dagger.

My knees collapse and I fall faster than anyone can catch, smacking my face on the metal doorstop that’s cemented into the ground. The cement is cold against all my bare skin but the bonds in my chest are ripping to shreds, and screaming is the only thing I can rightfully handle.

I start clawing at my chest, just wanting it to stop, but it doesn’t.

The place where our bond sat when they claimed me feels like it’s embedded with razor blades, cutting through all the muscles and sinew in my chest and slicing me to ribbons, sending me to my own version of hell.

Someone touches me but then there’s a skirmish of some sort that I can’t track, because my head is so loud, and my body feels like it’s on fire. I’m on the ground thrashing, and someone drags me inside and shuts the door, separating us completely.

The bond snaps completely in two, emptying me out.