Page 13 of Tamed Wolf (Rejected Mates of the Shelter #4)

Lark, Now

Is that honestly me in the mirror? I stare at my reflection every time I have to do my makeup for work, making sure every detail is flawless, but I never take the time to really look at myself; I’m always looking at the blending or the contouring and the application of eyeshadow, making sure my eyeliner matches on both sides and that my eyebrows are even and my mascara coats every lash.

I’ve no makeup on right now. There’s no getting away from the shadows in my eyes or the way my lips just won’t do anything other than show mild enthusiasm.

I’ve been the broken girl for so damn long that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be around normal people that aren’t paying me for my time. That are with me simply because they want to help.

If they weren’t just a few years older than my kid, I’d say I have a bit of a crush. But I’m 39, and crushes aren’t something my lifestyle can support.

Even hot ones that play with their babies and can’t seem to keep shirts on.

They’re the fucking alpha heirs though, there’s no way they’re honestly looking at me.

Since I’m just heading back to the shelter today, there’s no point putting on my makeup. I’m grateful for the toiletry kit I’ve pieced together, because having something familiar when I’m in such a strange environment helps.

The act of brushing my teeth and putting on my own deodorant, of combing my hair and dousing it with a little dry shampoo, the ability to cleanse and hydrate my face so I feel like it’s actually time to start my day helps clear my head a little bit.

I wish I had clothes besides this hoodie that flows to above my knees, but it is what it is.

I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing right now, so I just sort of wander out to the living room and look around, smiling at all the photos they’ve got tacked up and the colorful baby toys Rowan has around; I was never able to provide for Camden this well, it makes me happy to see a baby not wanting for anything.

I spot a stuffed owl that makes me almost tear up, and I have to grab it.

“Hey. All good?”

I spin, read the name ‘Beckett’ in permanent marker still on the side of his neck and try to manufacture a smile. “Camden had one almost exactly like this when he was a baby. Of course, his was plenty used when we got it, but he loved this thing. Kind of funny to see it’s still being sold.”

“You uh, want to talk about it? The shelter?”

I shake my head and put the plush in a basket nearby. “Nobody wants to talk about that place.”

I reach for a blanket hanging off the side of couch and just have to test its softness. It’s got little wolf prints all over it and it might be the softest thing I’ve ever felt.

“I know some things about it; we have a friend, Aspen? She used to live there.”

“Oh, I think I’ve talked to her a few times. Yeah, I remember her. She got out?” I look up hopefully, wanting to hear about a happy ending.

“Yeah, it was kind of crazy, actually. Long story short, most of her pack didn’t know she existed, or that she was in the rejected shelter, or that they had a kid; pretty shocking when they found out.”

“I bet,” I say with a small laugh.

“Her and her mates are happy now, though. Have another baby, too.”

“That’s so sweet. I love that she got another chance to be happy.”

“You ever think about that for yourself?”

I fold the blanket for something to do, fidgeting with the tag on the side of it. “It’s not in the cards for me. Some people…some people meet the one and they ride off into the sunset together. Some people have to wait longer before they meet the one and then they get to build a life together; some people are meant for neither. Some people…some people think that what they were given is really great, but it only lasts for about a year before it goes completely wrong, and everything falls apart. Some of us just aren’t meant to have good things, so we make the most of what we have.”

He steps closer to me, making me hitch my breath. It’s absurd how dang good they all smell.

“What does it say that I can’t get enough of the way you smell? I noticed it as soon as we walked into the club last night; my mouth was watering the entire time we were walking to that room. Then when you entered, and I realized it was coming from you?” He shakes his head. “Most delicious thing I’ve ever fuckin’ smelled.”

I make myself meet his eyes. “I was literally just thinking about how good you smell, too. Maybe we can schedule monthly meetups just to smell each other,” I joke.

His finger lands under my chin and tips my face up again, so I’m forced to look at him. “I could think of a lot better ways of getting your scent on me.”

I step back, flashing hot. “I’m not really sure what you all want with me; I really appreciate you taking me here last night, I slept amazing, but…this isn’t my life. Eventually I’m going to have to face my punishment for running out on them, and every second they can’t get a hold of me, it’s going to get worse. Might be best if you just bring me back so I can get it over with.”

“I want to know more about these punishments,” another deep voice says as they join us in the living room.

“You guys have been in relationships, right? You were with Rowan’s mom for a bit, right? I’m sure you know all about keeping your girl in line.”

Blake lets out a snarl as he strides up to me, sandwiching me between him and his brother and sending filthy thoughts through my head. “No man worth his salt would ever need to punish his mate. Punishment is for children that misbehave, not grown ass women that know their own mind. What on earth could you have possibly done in the past to warrant a fucking punishment?”

I sigh, not really wanting to detail every bit of my fucked-up life. “I’ve never been able to do right by them. I used to try so hard; I was only 16 when we met and I sort of got pushed off the deep end, but they didn’t want a teenage mate that didn’t know shit about the world. We were never going to work, I don’t think. They need more help than I can give, and I have no more will to stand up for myself. The power is too unbalanced and rejected wolves have hardly any rights. It’s usually easier to not fight, because fighting just makes you hope something will change, only for it all to come crashing down around you ten times worse.”

“We’ve done some work with the group called Heroes; you know about them?”

I nod at Beckett, but I haven’t gone to too many meetings, so I’m not too familiar.

“We’ve helped some rejected wolves, been trying to work things through and affect change. We’ve been bringing things to our dad’s attention, and we’re working on making things better. I hate that you’re even called rejected wolves, it drives me crazy. It has such a negative connotation, when really the reasons some of these wolves reject their mates are more about their over big ego or other shit than the person they’re throwing out. I don’t get how people can be so disconnected with their wolves.”

“People ceased surprising me long ago.”

“You mentioned a contract with your exes; do you know if they filed it properly?”

I shrug. “I would assume so. No point getting me to literally dance for them if they can’t legally enforce my work there.”

“You thinking what I’m thinking, brother?” Blake asks Beckett.

“Yeah, for sure. Lark, let’s go to the Alpha House and take a look at it, shall we? We can talk to dad and see what we can do about it. I want to know what those assholes have on you.”

“You can’t just—"

They’re already halfway to their rooms to get dressed. Beckett turns around. “Actually, we can. You see, there’s this thing we have, called privilege. Our dad runs the pack, so we have access to everything we’ll inherit at some point. He expects us to step up when we can to take care of stuff, so really if you think about it, this is our job. If there are wolves in our pack that are taking advantage of the mates the goddess gave them and we have proof, you bet your ass we’re going to fix the fuckers up.”

“Here, you want to play with a cute baby while we get dressed?”

I have my hands extended to snag the kid from Brooks before I even really process why they’re trying to give me their kid.

“Oh my gods, you’re so freaking cute. Your daddies better watch out, I might just have to run away with you. What do you say, Rowan? I bet we could find some really fun things to do together.”

“Don’t steal our kid,” Brooks calls from over his shoulder as he disappears into a bedroom as well.

“Well, there goes that plan. You like to walk? Let’s see. You’re probably just crawling now, huh? Here, you can stand on my feet, and I’ll help you take some steps. Just don’t tell your daddies I taught you better ways to get in trouble.”

He starts giggling and it just completely lifts my mood. Eventually he starts fussing and straining towards a light up aquarium toy that’s sitting in another pile, so I set him down and let him crawl over there, digging for it. I turn it on for him and watch as he sits there, mesmerized as the glitter floats around inside and a simple melody plays.

“That is pretty cool, I can see why you love it so much. Oh, for me? Thank you, Rowan.” I press the button and then hand it back, only for him to repeat the process when it goes off again.

It’s very entertaining until he sees my socks, and then suddenly he’s desperate to grab onto them so he can try to pull them off.

The guys are all in their rooms, so I don’t think much about taking the sock off and showing it to him. It’s dirty from walking around their place so I’m not going to let him hold it, but he’s fascinated as I put it back on. Of course, he just wants it off again. “Really wish I could be so easily entertained. Things would be far better if I could.”

“What the fuck happened to your foot?”

I freeze and then slowly slide the sock back on, but Blake is there scooping me up, throwing me on his lap while he sits on the sofa nearby. He grips my ankle gently and pulls my sock off, probing around the injury.

“This looks like fucking silver. How many times they burned you here?”

“Not a lot of places they can injure me when I’m usually wearing next to nothing and making them money. Customers don’t like blemishes. Shoes are easy enough to slide on though, I just can’t wear the platforms with the clear straps on them. Hardly bothers me anymore, I’m used to it. You don’t need to worry about it.”

His voice gets low, and it’s so fucked up that it makes me shiver with need.

“We’re way beyond worrying right now, Lark. I see a stunning woman with a spirit that’s been crushed over and over it seems, yet she continues to be able to shine so fucking bright. If you were mine… fuck . If you were mine, you’d be so fucking worshipped, Lark. We might have been talking out of our asses when you were dancing for us yesterday, but only because you came on so fucking potent. I don’t think you realize half of the allure you have. You want to know what I was thinking but was too chicken shit to say while you were dancing for us?”

I try to wiggle, desperate to put a little space between us because this just got heavy so damn quick, and all the others are in the room now as well, witnessing everything happening, and it’s…too much like a pack. “I don’t think I want to, actually. Whether you’re just playing with me because I seem like easy prey, or whether I’m something pretty you want to play with for a bit and try to fix before moving on, this isn’t going to go anywhere good for me. I really appreciate the help last night, but I think I need to get home.”

“Wrong answer,” Beckett says as he falls to his knees in front of me. He cups my face and tilts my head, so I’m forced to watch him strike the blow. “I was so damn confused by how fucking incredible you smelled, and the way you called to my wolf the second you entered that room, I was thinking you looked a hell of a lot like you were mine. We spent the rest of the night stupidly trying to catch a glimpse of you, and if you’d have walked back into that room once you walked out, you’d have found us more or less face down on the floor because the way you worked us up and connected to us fucking wrecked every damn one of us.”

I clear my throat, desperate to cut some of this tension. “Aren’t you uh, at least a little worried about your kid learning some of this vulgar language?”

“You’re not getting out of this that easily,” Blake says as he catches my attention again. His thumb is rubbing along the arch of my foot softly, his long fingers wrapped around my ankle, and fucking hell it feels like he’s stroking me in much more intimate places.

“This is about more than playing with something pretty; we’ve had pretty and it fucking sucked. The three of us didn’t really have the time to talk about what it was we all really felt when you walked in that room, but I’m on the same page as him. I was confused why you hit so hard when I already had the chance to have a mate.”

“I actually needed to remember I had proof that Arabella was our mate,” Brooks admits as he bounces Rowan on his hip. “It was… I don’t know what it was, but it got me deep. Are you telling us you didn’t feel it? Are we just totally coming off as obsessed creeps that fell in love at first sight?”

“L-love?” I choke out. “You don’t know the first thing about me, and there’s just so much…” I lose words and freeze, and then it just washes over me and completely drowns out anything I wanted to argue.

I can’t lie and tell them I felt nothing, because there was a damn good reason I was so eager to snatch up the phone I found with the three of them on the wallpaper. It’s just cruel that somebody is finally trying to make a big, romantic gesture when I’m way past my prime and have lived through so much shit already. I’ll never be able to give them what they need, and that really fucking sucks.

“Woah, woah, woah, why are you crying, angel?”

“Why couldn’t you guys have been around when I was younger? I hate that it’s taken me this long to finally be interested in another wolf, only for the timing to be so incredibly off. You’re what, 25, 26? I’ll be 40 in a few months. I don’t like being tempted by things I can’t actually have.”

“Baby, we are 100% available.”

“You aren’t getting it. Let’s just…can we get out of here? Take me home, or…whatever it is you are convinced we need to do?”

“We’re going to win you over, Lark, mark my words. We’ve got some time to prove it. We’re just going to make sure you know we’re serious. That starts with taking care of this issue with your asshole exes. How many we talking here, by the way?”

“Two. I don’t see much of Ivan anymore; I think he at some point realized he wasn’t doing me any favors. Trevor though…Trevor you need to watch out for. He can get nasty. You guys have a baby to worry about; I really wish you’d just let this go and keep him away from all this.”

“That sucks. Because we want Rowan to grow up knowing you always do the right thing, especially if you think you can help someone who needs it. We’ll keep him safe. And we’ll do it while we get you to fall for us.”