Page 12 of TAINTED by TWINS

We accidentally copy pasted the pre-proofread draft chapter instead of the edited one but if you saw this author's note it means you're reading the spellchecked version!

I started feeling empty.

It is unusual for a man to not want to feel the touch of his beautiful dark-haired girlfriend with the face and body of a goddess.

Cathy was everything I could ever want, the pinnacle of femininity, the Aphrodite in my eyes.

Incomparable to her, because Cathy is the goddess.

But a day of rejecting her advances turned into weeks, then a month.

I saw her dye her hair blonde, change her make up style, her clothes—more exposure, more modesty, more expressive. But I no longer wanted her. I just feel... empty.

"Maybe you got bored of her," says my mother as she took a drag of her cigarette, her legs draped over my lap as we lounge on the couch. I am relieving her with a foreleg massage. "Men will always seek better women even when he already has the best, Jonah. Are you the same? Not a question."

I stayed silent. It's not like I wanted another woman. I've never even looked at another woman, Cathy makes them look ordinary. When I talk to women, I think of her. But why don't I desire her anymore?

"Men are insatiable beasts," mother bitterly stated, "But you aren't like that, are you, Jonah? You'll make mommy proud. Don't disappoint mommy."

"Yes, mother..." I smiled at her, kissing her knuckle.

But I knew I'd disappoint her, even in secret. In private, I looked through attractive men and adult videos involving the most masculine and also feminine guys out there to see if I no longer desired women in general.

But no. I don't desire them anymore than I did Cathy. They were strangers to me. I felt nothing, empty.

Not even Cathy's slap made me feel anything, watching the most beautiful woman in the world walk away from me. And in his place, I saw him.

"I'm gay too," was all I heard from him, coupled with other comforting words I needed to hear. Maybe he can help me; maybe he can fix me.

"Let me touch you," I told him a year ago. And I did; for someone that looks like he doesn't take care of himself, he has skin as supple as jelly, a collarbone sharp enough to cut me. His hands were the warmth I soon craved for myself until I could only crave him.

I wasn't gay. Nor was I straight, nor am I interested in anything but him. I wanted to touch him again, I wanted to hold his hand, hold him for myself—why have eyes unless they're only for looking at you, Lian? When it seems like I'm the only one looking at you...

Until I no longer was the only one. That was until he walked in with a face everyone wants to look at. How dare they look at him. I like him more when they were disgusted of him. He was pure, innocent, and my hands wanted to taint him. But someone already did. Christian Wayne.

You don't understand. Wanting to touch a painted rose when you knew you were gonna get cut so deeply by the thorns. Oh how I wanted to rip those petals off and grab him by the thorns to paint him red with my own d*mn blood—!

"Jonah?" He calls out on me, with everyone watching how I snapped a ballpoint pen with my hand alone. Lian, with the most forbidden lips asks me, "Are you okay?"

No. "Of course, with you standing there, who wouldn't be okay?" I smiled, capturing everyone with my charm, but the one I wanted to capture seems afraid of my smile.

"So when Jonah flirts with Mr. Miller it's okay but when I do it's harassment?!" A student yelled out.

Jade woke up from his sleep to yell, "Because you're ugly as f*ck, Jeremy! Get your d*ck through puberty before you stick it anywhere near the teacher."

The class laughed, but only I noticed Lian smile in appreciation for Jade defending him. I find myself looking at my own twin, the mirror not even looking back at me. For Lian to only notice my reflection... does he fancy Jade more than me?

I decided to speak with Jade in the hill where we usually park our vehicles. He gave me a soda while he drank a beer. "It's been a while since we came here, Jondrelle. Are you plotting the murder of Christopher?"

"No," I said while looking at the city lights with my head in the clouds.

"We've caused a strain on their relationship, it'll be a matter of time before Sasha finds evidence of their affair when Lian was a student. When that happens, he'll be out of school and Lian will be yours."

"I'm no longer worried about him," I say with half lidded eyes, moving to look at my reflection beside me. "Even if Lian will no longer look at him, I fear he won't be looking at me."

"What are you talking about, you have him as your tutor, he's stuck with your blonde *ss..."

"He looks at you, Jade..." I whispered, but loud enough for him to hear and look at me in confusion. "He will be looking right through me and into you. Tell me... what happened between you for him to only smile at you?"

He laughed, "Bro, what are you talking about? He literally admitted to having a crush on you. That's all the bleach getting into your head..."

I turn my head to look at him, smiling. "You wouldn't ever steal him away from me... would you, Jade?"

He looks at me with the guilt of someone who has his blood on the thorns. "Cut the sh*t man, I don't even like men."

Lian is more than a man, more than his gender. And I look at him suspiciously, knowing d*mn well he didn't admit to not liking Lian.

Instead, I walked towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're my best man, Jade. You'd never betray me like that."

"S-sure... why are you touching me, that's weird..."

"Because, if Lian likes you then I'm gonna need you to seduce him for me. I'll even let you have a taste, Jade." His eyes turned from scowling to softly shocked. "I'm willing to share everything with my brother. You deserve to feel good, too."

He was speechless. I added, "But when it comes to him choosing you, promise me you'll reject him painfully... leave his heart shattered into pieces only I can hold. You'd do that for me, will you?"

He seemed uneasy, probably because I proposed he sleep with a guy. "I wouldn't sleep with him. But yeah... I'd... I'd reject him."

"I knew I could count on you, Jade..." I smiled while tapping my adorable brother's cheek. But I knew better.

"Let me make it up to you," I hear him in my phone speaker as I drove to school. "Please... Lian. I was wrong to overreact..."

I sighed, bumping my head against the rest behind me.

"I'll see you in school, Chris. We'll talk about it in person. I have so much going on right now, you have no idea..." Your sister invaded my house.

But I wasn't sure how to say it because what if he sides with her or defends his sister? I don't want that heartbreak this morning.

"I'll be here for you, always."

My heart warmed up. He always was, he said he always will. I wasn't sure if I can break up with him over something as trivial as that fight, or because of what his sister did. Not if he's the only one that will love me.

KKHHCCKK—kkchhhh—kkkkk!

"What?" One mile away from the school, I stopped dead in the middle of a rice field. "Hey!"

My eyes land on the fuel meter and realized, "Gosh, Lian you forgot to fill up! I'm so stupid! Ughhhhh—!"

I got off the car to hopefully catch a bus or maybe just call Chris for help. I can be late for class after skipping yesterday! I grabbed my phone and was about to dial, when I saw a black motorcycle come up in the distance.

"Jade?" I put the phone down. "Jade! Jade, stop!"

The man halted in front of me, immediately snapping his visor open. "Why aren't you going to school, Lian?"

"I need help, I ran out of fuel..."

"I'm not giving you mine."

I had to hit him in the arm. "I mean take me to a gas station! Please..."

He stares down at me rudely as if I disturbed the air he breathed. He took off his helmet and shook off his curly hair, glaring at me. "You hit me."

"I'm sorry, you said something dumb."

"Kiss to make it feel better," he cheekily teased. I turned red, lips parted at his request.

But then, he laughed. "I'm joking, honey."

"O-okay, let's go?" I nervously say because I really wasn't willing to reject the kiss if it meant I can get a ride—don't misunderstand my words.

He got off the motorcycle, before flipping off a car that passed by while we were in the middle of the road. He opened my door and pushed my car to the side.

"Sorry, I've never had a breakdown before."

"You've had plenty," he teased, giving me his helmet. "Now come on, or we're gonna be late and I'm gonna tell everyone we had a quickie in the storage room."

I've never gotten on his bike so fast. When we arrived at the nearest gas station, it was Jade who pulled out the jug and filled it up as if I was incapable of doing so. Well... I've never filled up at a gas station without my car before.

"Uhm, Jade... I was hoping to speak to you or Jonah about this anyway..." I tell him as we wait for it to fill up. "But uhm... your mom sent men to ransack my house and attack my mom."

He stopped filling because it was full anyway, but he snapped his gaze toward me. "What?"

"My house... someone broke in while my mom was alone." My breaths feel heavy as I look up at him. "She talked about your mom. Why would she send men to my house? Don't you know my mom is the only family I have? Do you know how scared I was knowing she was alone?"

I didn't realize it how my tears fell down my cheeks while admitting my fear to someone else. Jade stared at me as if he was unsure what to do, staring at the droplets of tears that I immediately wipe away.

Jade opened his mouth, but I only saw his fist curling up as he looks to the road ahead. "Lian..."

"Tell her I'll stop being Jonah's tutor. I'll stay away from you, I'll—"

"The f*ck you will," he snaps at me, grabbing my hand and pulling me to his bike.

"Jade, my mother will be in danger—!"

"You're what she's after, not your mother..." he looks down at me as if he knows exactly why, but dare not tell me. "She won't hurt your mother. Get on the bike."

"How would you know?! How would you even—!" He slams the helmet on my head, covering me.

"Lian. Things will make sense, just... trust me on this."

"What do you mean, you're the least trustworthy person!"

"I WILL DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO PROTECT YOU, don't you understand?!" He yells out in frustration, the intensity of his voice muffled by the helmet. He breathes heavily, avoiding my eyes as he can't quite believe he said that. He was gathering his thoughts for a bit before he says, "Godd*mn Lian, you... you make me do things–get on the f*cking bike!"

I silently got on, holding onto him tight. Too scared about what he's protecting me from. I was even too scared to question why he's not heading to school. He's... he's going uphill. To where he took me after the nightclub.

"Why did you take me here?" I watched him walk towards the ledge and rest his head on the railing.

"I lie..." he said deeply as if he's finding it hard to breathe. I moved towards him with concern, putting my hand on his leathered back. "I lie, Lian. A lot. To people, my mother, the only one that sees through it is Jonah. It's so easy for me to lie and deceive, but when I look into your eyes... I can't. I can't, I can't lie to myself..."

"What... do you mean?"

"Lying to myself..." he scoffed. "When it comes to you, I can't lie. Lying can't protect you..."

He looks at me with his lined blue eyes full of emotions spilling out. "Before we were born, your mother worked in our house."

My world shrank. Of course... my mom couldn't afford the school I go to. She finished in it, worked as a teacher to make sure I will be guaranteed to study in it for free. When my sponsorship was set, she stopped teaching.

But Jade revealed, "She was a maid there. She became close with my mother, who confided in her when she had fertility difficulties. They were so close, my mother paid for your mom to go to school. They were best friends."

"Velo, I got you your flowers..."

"Awww, thank you sweet Leilei... is this from my husband?"

"No... I arranged it myself," Lei said with a beauty that matched the red roses with dark black thorns. Meanwhile, Velomina's beauty was that of tulips blooming under sunlight.

"Something happened between them that caused my mother to curse out the unborn baby that made your mother leave our house..." Jade said. "My mother won't hurt yours... but I'm not sure that she won't hurt you."

I took my hand off his back and stepped off. "Why me? What does she have against me—Jade? You're crying..."

I had to go in front of him and wipe away the tears that smeared his dark eyeliner in a way that made him look like a beautiful crying demon, seeking solace in heaven.

The more he looked into my eyes, the more he can't contain his tears. "I can't lie to you... knowing the lie won't protect you. Your mom had an affair with our dad, Lian. She was his mistress. And the only way my mother could get revenge was to take it out on you."