Page 49 of Surrendering His Heart (Buena Hills #4)

The next few weeks flew by. Work kept Christian even busier than before, and every day he grew more grateful for Hallie’s continued help with the girls. With Thanksgiving looming, Jim had gone into a rampage, demanding his team wrap up several projects before taking time off for the long weekend.

Christian still hated his job, but what he had waiting for him at home gave him a special boost to get through each day.

Dating Hallie looked different than any relationship he’d had before, Sabrina included.

They couldn’t go on regular dates without hiring a babysitter but there was a peaceful comfort in reconnecting with her after the girls went to bed.

Having her curled up on the couch next to him while they worked on separate projects had created a contentment within him he’d never felt before.

And helping her with her grant proposal had inspired him to take on a new purpose: putting his own dream of starting a business back into motion. At least the idea of it, for now.

The missing pieces of his life were finally coming together.

Two days before Thanksgiving, he turned onto his street, eager to get home. His stomach rumbled as he breathed in the spicy aroma escaping the bags of takeout on the passenger seat.

Since Hallie had driven the girls to their first gymnastics class, he’d beat them to the house for once. Excellent. He had a surprise for her, and the empty house would give him the opportunity to put it in motion.

In the morning, she’d be leaving for Brad’s parents’ house to spend Thanksgiving with her extended family. He wanted to send her off with something special so she knew how much he appreciated her.

No, appreciate wasn’t strong enough. He loved her. Man, thinking that still sent a giddy thrill zipping through him.

In addition to picking up food from Curry & Spice, he’d stopped by the local home goods store for white fairy lights and scented candles.

And during the rare hours that Hallie hadn’t spent with them last weekend, the girls had drawn pictures to give to her.

He had all the ingredients necessary for a cozy family dinner.

Family.

Smiling at the thought, he turned into his driveway, noticing an unfamiliar sedan at the curb.

It’s probably for the neighbors. He pushed his door open, grabbing the food and his work bag from the passenger side.

He’d come back for the rest of the stuff after placing dinner in the oven to keep warm.

As he neared the porch, a figure rose from the steps, sending ice cubes down his spine. Her raven ponytail was just as long and thick as it always had been, her skin just as flawless—like she hadn’t aged one bit in the time she’d been gone.

The takeout bags dropped from his hands, thumping onto the concrete. “Sabrina.”

Her mouth turned upward. “Hey, Christian. I’m back.”

He blinked at her. His heart thumped in his ears, muting the words coming from her mouth. She couldn’t be back. This had to be one of those nightmares that had plagued him the first several months after she’d left.

He squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his hands up and down his face a few times to bring himself back to reality. Once he opened his eyes again, she wouldn’t be there anymore.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Dang, still here.

And that would be a hard no on the invitation. He’d rather hash it out right here, send her packing, and get on with his evening.

But the longer they stood on the porch like this, the greater the chance someone could see. Providing more fodder to the neighborhood rumor mill was an even worse option. Sabrina coming back? Yeah, the gossips would go to town with that. Especially Carrie .

He made a noise that was half groan, half sigh and picked up the bag from Curry & Spice.

One of the Styrofoam containers inside had popped open, spilling rice and chicken through the opening at the top of the bag.

Wonderful. He punched the code into the keypad and pushed the door open, wordlessly ushering her into the house.

Princess Pumpkin trotted toward them, sniffing at the bag of food. Christian knelt in front of her, patting her side to calm himself before the negative emotions crashed down on him. It was like he’d been pushed into a time warp that sent him back three years to the day Sabrina had abandoned him.

“You got a dog?” She stared at Pumpkin, who let out a low moan of displeasure. It was telling that the animal who liked everyone found this newcomer suspicious.

You and me both, girl. Without responding, he led Pumpkin into the kitchen, throwing on the lights. He thumped the takeout on the stove as the dog went over to scratch at the door to the laundry room where Christian kept her food.

“Aren’t you going to talk to me?” Sabrina asked, entering the kitchen behind him.

Christian whirled to face her. “What do you expect me to say? Why’re you even here? Do you need money?”

Her mouth dropped open in stunned silence. “No, of course not. Didn’t you hear me? I’m back. I want to be a family again.”

He threw his hands up in frustration. “You’ve been gone for years, and you honestly thought you’d swoop in here, expecting me to be happy to see you? Do you even realize the damage you’ve caused to us all?”

She took a shaky breath, her gaze dropping to the floor. “Christian, I’m sorry. I was just so … unhappy. We were practically babies when Isla was born. I’d wanted to do so many things, and I didn’t want to regret not being able to experience them.”

“And there it is,” he muttered bitterly. “Everything has always revolved around you. Your problems. Your unhappiness. Even this house was about you. But what about the girls? What about me?”

“Christian— ”

“I bent over backwards, trying to fix our relationship. Nothing was ever good enough for you.”

“But I’ve changed?—”

He stopped her by holding up a hand. “So have I. When you left, I had no choice but to move on with my life. And I’m not going back to that situation again. I’m done believing in your empty promises.” He spun around, gripping the oven handle to ground himself.

“Is this about your nanny?”

Slowly, he swiveled on his heel to face her again. “What’re you talking about?”

Dropping into one of the chairs at the table, Sabrina crossed her arms over her striped cropped sweater. “I saw Carrie this afternoon. She told me all about how you were getting friendly with a woman who’d been watching the kids.”

So the gossip mill had already begun to churn. Fantastic. He ground his teeth, his anger nearing its boiling point. Sabrina didn’t get to come here and cause chaos, upsetting all the progress he’d worked so hard to make.

“That’s none of your business.” He kept his voice an icy calm.

“If it involves our girls, it is my business.”

“Now you decide to be a parent?” he shot back, unable to stop himself.

His comment plunged them into a chilling impasse, broken only by the creak of the front door opening.

“Christian?” Hallie called from the entryway. “We’re back.”

Isla and Penelope burst through the house, talking over each other.

“Daddy, Daddy! I walked on the balance beam!” Isla called at the same time Penelope added, “I jump in the pit!”

They skittered to a stop as they appeared in the kitchen. Isla’s suspicion immediately replaced her excitement. “Who’s she?”

Sabrina turned wide eyes onto Christian. “They’re both so big,” she whispered, agony marring her voice. Taking a step toward the girls, a tearful smile appeared on her face. “Hi, girls. Mommy’s home. Come give me a hug. ”

Isla backed up, bumping into Hallie, whose gaze darted from Sabrina to Christian. Her furrowed brows asked the question she didn’t need to speak out loud.

He bobbed his head once.

The worry plaguing Hallie’s lovely face pierced his heart, stabbing some of the air out of his anger. She squeezed the girls’ shoulders gently, crouching to their level. “Why don’t you go play in your rooms for a bit.”

Both girls darted wary glances toward Sabrina before scurrying off toward the stairs. Hallie’s gaze followed them before she swiveled back to the tense scene in the kitchen. She teetered in the entryway, obviously not sure whether to stay or go and looking to Christian for guidance.

There was nothing he wanted more than for her to stay. He needed her calming presence right now. But he refused to subject her to his ex’s vitriol. Turning to Sabrina, he said, “Will you excuse us?”

Without waiting for an answer, he crossed to Hallie, gesturing for her to follow him from the kitchen. They stopped near the front door. “You should probably go. I need to sort this out.”

She studied him, and he suspected the worry in her expression would haunt him for long after she was gone.

“Text me later?” she asked, her voice wobbly.

Nodding, he held her eyes for a long moment, trying to convey that Sabrina’s presence changed nothing between them. But with the way his head still spun at his ex’s unexpected appearance, the words he wanted to speak only tumbled incoherently in his head.

Hallie slipped through the front door, and Christian closed it behind her, blowing out a deep breath to steel his composure before facing Sabrina again.

“Carrie was right, then,” Sabrina said when Christian reentered the kitchen, Hallie’s expression still plaguing him. “You’re in love with her. I can see it in your face.”

Christian didn’t deny it. His silence was answer enough.

“But what about us?” Sabrina asked. “We were a family.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you abandoned us.” He ran a hand down his face, the exhaustion hitting him with a force that literally dropped him into a chair across from her.

They fell into a silent standstill charged by years of frustration, disappointment, and resentment. Christian stared at his hands in his lap, unable to tune out Sabrina’s quiet sniffles but not willing to muster the strength to get her to leave.

“The girls don’t remember me.” Her voice cracked, and a gasp followed the heavy realization. “They don’t know who I am.”

“That’s the tricky thing about choices, Sabrina,” Christian said dryly. “They come with consequences. You can’t just pick and choose the ones you want to deal with.”

She leaned forward, piercing him with pleading eyes. “How do I fix this? Is there any hope of reconciliation?”

“Any hope of saving our marriage died the day you walked out that door.”

“What about the girls? I want a relationship with them.”

Over my dead body. He’d sell himself to the devil to protect his girls from the pain Sabrina had caused. And he’d protect Hallie from her too.

But was that the best solution? He couldn’t just kick Sabrina out, lock the doors and refuse to answer the phone. What if the girls grew to resent him for refusing to let them get to know their birth mom?

He balled his fists in his lap to keep his anger contained. “If you sincerely want to get to know the girls, we can work something out. But I need time to explain to them what’s going on. This will be a big shock for them. We’ll talk after Thanksgiving.”

“But that’s two days from now.”

“And you’ve been gone for three and a half years,” he hissed through his teeth. “You can wait a little longer.”

Her shoulders slumped, and all indignation fizzled out with the movement. “Okay. After Thanksgiving.”

“I need to go check on them,” he said, ending the conversation. “Do you have a place to stay?”

Because you’re not staying here. And paying for a hotel didn’t sit well with him either. But he couldn’t leave her with no accommodations. How come after all the damage she’d done, he still felt a pull to make sure her needs were met?

“I’m crashing with some friends in the city.” She followed him from the kitchen.

“Okay then.”

With nothing more to say, Christian promised to call after Thanksgiving.

Once he’d closed the front door behind her, he pressed his back against the wood, sliding to the floor.

He desperately needed to check on the girls, to make sure their world hadn’t been rocked after the bombshell dropped on them tonight.

But with his own world imploding, how could he possibly support them?

Lowering his face into his hands, he let the reality of the situation spin around him. Sabrina was back. She wanted a relationship with the girls. Just when his life was looking up, his ex had managed to send him spiraling back to rock bottom.

Would he ever be free from the demons of his past?