Page 39 of Surrendering His Heart (Buena Hills #4)

I kissed Christian.

Hallie pushed a gum paste tombstone into the gray-tinted buttercream that made up the graveyard of Isla’s haunted house birthday cake.

In front of his mom.

How had she let that happen? The kiss, not his mom’s appearance, though meeting the woman who raised him while making out with him had to top the list of the most mortifying experiences of Hallie’s life.

She was barely able to look him in the eye after returning with the girls yesterday, let alone have a normal conversation. Thankfully, Isla and Penelope were so excited to see their dad home early that she didn’t have much opportunity to talk to him before leaving for the day.

Tomorrow was Isla’s party, and she wasn’t looking forward to seeing him again when she dropped off the cakes, knowing that sometime soon they’d need to address that kiss.

Hallie didn’t usually shy away from the hard topics, but for perhaps the first time in her life, reason had failed her in this situation.

She could no longer deny it. She was falling for Christian.

Hard. But as much as she cared for him, she wasn’t ready to step into the mom role, no matter how much the girls had grown on her.

Watching them for a few hours a day was one thing.

Anything more than that seemed so … permanent.

And scary. What if she didn’t measure up?

What if the arrangement turned out terrible for everyone?

What if Christian ended up regretting trusting her with his kids?

Stop overanalyzing this. She couldn’t read Christian’s mind. That kiss may have meant nothing to him. Why did the prospect of that send a squeamish feeling to her gut? But truthfully, he could’ve just been caught up in the moment. Hallie had been wrapped up in it too.

Thank goodness for Saturday. She needed this Christian-free day.

A little distraction from her conflicting thoughts was exactly what she needed to figure out the next step. And the ticket to return to her logical self.

If only she could forget about the kiss. She pressed her hands to her cheeks to stop the flush. Never in her life had anyone kissed her like that—so tender, yet with an urgency that made her knees feel like they’d disappeared entirely.

It can never happen again.

Picking up another tombstone, she pushed it strategically into the cake—not in a straight line, but at a crooked angle to add to the spookiness of the scene.

A quiet knock came from the front door.

She frowned. Who could that be? McKenzie had gone to Mexico for the weekend to watch Mitch’s tournament, and Beej was on a date tonight. Hallie hadn’t seen Kendall all day either, which meant whoever had stopped by wouldn’t be for any of them. A deliveryman, perhaps?

Wiping her hands on the towel hanging from the stove, she left the room and made her way to the entryway. When she opened the door, her eyes widened at the sight of the same man that had dominated her thoughts standing on the stoop, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans. “Christian.”

“Hey.” He bounced a little on the balls of his feet.

She looked past him into the dusky glow of the fading sun before flipping on the porch light. “Where are the girls?”

“They’re out with my mom and sister for a special girls’ night. You busy?”

No. I mean yes. Argh! “Sorry, girl’s night here too. No boys allowed.”

“Oh.” His shoulders drooped, as did the hope in his eyes.

She chuckled, despite the nerves swimming in her stomach. “Just kidding. Come on in.” She held the door open, ignoring her brain’s warning of what happened the last time they were alone in a house together. “Actually, I want to show you Isla’s cake.”

She led him to the kitchen, stepping aside when they entered so Christian had a direct view.

“Wow, Hal.” He approached the island, bending at the waist to inspect the cake more closely. “Isla will love this.”

Hallie climbed onto the stool at his side, angling her body to face him. “It still needs a few finishing touches, but I’m close.”

“You even have the witch on there,” he said without pulling his focus away from the crooked old house. The witch sat on a broomstick suspended from the leafless tree by a wire disguised with spun sugar to look like fog. “I really didn’t think you’d be able to pull this off.”

“Are you saying you doubted me?” She leaned forward to cross her arms over the countertop.

“It won’t happen again.” Christian turned from the cake, aiming his smirk on her.

Hallie’s breath caught at the intensity in his eyes, his face only inches from hers. His stare burned through her like a wildfire rampaging an entire forest. The overwhelming urge to continue their kiss from yesterday came over her.

Clearing his throat, he straightened to his full height. “Listen, I need to apologize for what happened yesterday.”

Apologize? Hallie swallowed, her throat thick. So he did regret the kiss. Shouldn’t that be a good thing?

Yes . Yet her stomach dropped.

“It was wrong to come onto you like that.” He stared at the cake. “I’d never intend to make you uncomfortable in any way. I feel horrible for taking advantage of you.”

Why were her eyes watering? She’d tried all afternoon to figure out how to address that amazing kiss and hearing him indirectly admit to their mistake cut a hole straight through her heart. You’re hopeless, Hal. Stop being so wishy-washy.

She turned away, afraid that if he looked at her, he’d see her heart traveling through the cheese grater. She should’ve walked away at the beginning. Should’ve honored her boundaries before her heart got involved. Because now that it was? Wow, it hurt.

“You’re right, it shouldn’t have happened.” That’s all she managed to choke out before her chin wobbled and the first tear dropped to her cheek.

Hopping off her stool, she walked to the sink. The cake pans and mixing bowls she hadn’t cleaned yet overflowed from it. She yanked on the dishwasher, and it clattered open.

“Hallie.”

She didn’t dare turn around.

“I said something wrong, didn’t I?”

She shook her head, lifting a ceramic bowl from the top rack of the dishwasher.

His hand on her shoulder stopped her. Why was he touching her?

The seconds ticked past with an urgency that charged the room.

“Hal, what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice husky.

His gentle tone snapped the last of her willpower, and she brought her hand up to rest on his. “I’m so confused,” she said in a strangled whisper.

As Christian turned her around, she set the bowl back in the dishwasher. Cradling her head against his chest with one hand, he circled his other arm around her waist and held her tenderly. “So am I.”

Something about that quiet admission soothed some of Hallie’s racing emotions. Maybe his earlier statement hadn’t been so black and white as she’d thought.

Warmth flooded her as she brought her hands up to rest underneath his shoulder blades. But not the same kind of heat from a moment ago. This warmth spoke of belonging, like being hugged by a friend, or a sense of camaraderie in this twisted situation.

So much for boundaries.

“Feel better?” he asked, stepping back a minute later.

Hallie blew out a shaky breath. “Surprisingly, yeah.”

Chuckling, he ran a hand through his hair. “Me too. Surprisingly. ”

His repetition of her word choice triggered a round of subdued laughter, quick but purposeful in dispelling the lingering awkwardness in the room.

They’d resolved nothing, hadn’t really talked about the kiss, and yet, it didn’t matter right now.

They could have that discussion after they’d both had time to process everything.

“I guess I’ll leave you to your baking.” He took a step toward the door. “Unless you need a break?”

Hallie didn’t miss the hopefulness entering his face. “You want to hang out?”

“Do you want to hang out?”

She’d been planning to visit Brad downtown once she’d finished Isla’s cake, which gave her an idea. Christian had all but confessed yesterday that he wished he’d had a chance to clear the air with him. And Hallie knew her cousin well enough to predict he’d want the same.

“Actually, how’d you like to run an errand with me?”

He arched one of his brows. “What kind of errand?”

“You’ll see. I’ll grab my keys and we’ll be on our way.”

She placed Isla’s cake in an airtight container, then pulled a glass Tupperware of leftover lasagna from the freezer.

Her cousin knew how to cook, though he’d admitted the last time she’d visited that he’d been mostly avoiding it since the smell of raw meat made Cassie even sicker than usual.

After living on cold cereal and sandwiches for weeks, Hallie figured he’d appreciate a home cooked meal—even from the freezer.

“Shoot,” Hallie said when she and Christian stepped onto the porch. “I didn’t realize Beej parked behind me. Hang on while I go look for her keys. Hopefully, she didn’t bring them on her date.”

Christian grabbed her arm before she could retreat into the house. Would she ever become immune to his touch? “We can take mine.”

“Only if you can trust me. Do you?”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you planning to lure me into a dark alley to finish me off? Because I told my mom I’d pick the girls up tomorrow morning. ”

“You’re such a smart aleck. Just answer the question.”

His small smile sent goosebumps dancing across her arms. “I do.”

“Good.” She held out her palm. “Give me your keys.”

“What?” he said through a surprised laugh.

Palm out, she wagged her fingers toward herself. “You said you trusted me, and I’m going to hold you to that. Hand them over, mister.”

He considered her for a long moment before huffing out an overdramatic sigh. Fishing his keys from his pocket, he dropped them onto her hand.

She held her head high in mock smugness, though he still had several inches on her, and started walking toward his SUV parked at the curb. “Okay, let’s go.”