Page 53 of Sunny Side Up

SUNNY SIDE UP

Helloooo my lovely, perfect, gorgeous Sunny Side Up readers! I am writing to you as a changed woman. On this Monday morning, back home in New York after my brother’s wedding, I have two updates for you:

You might be thinking, “But Sunny, didn’t you say that you messed everything up with your mystery man and that you were headed to Chicago alone?

!” Yes, yes I did. I sure did. But thanks to the help of your hero and mine, Avery, he found his way to Chicago, and we found our way back to each other.

He’s not much of an “online person,” so this will likely be the last time you hear about him in any sort of capacity beyond the occasional mention.

But I think I speak for all of us when I say that we are all so very, very sick of hearing about my love life.

Yours is way more interesting. The dating portion of this newsletter is now, officially, an advice column. LET IT RIP.

This summer has been one of celebration and success, but this past year has been the hardest for me yet.

Between my divorce and my weight gain and my career changes, I felt like I’d really lost myself.

There were so many moments where I felt like I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to be.

That made it impossible to trust myself—how can we trust a voice that we can’t even hear?

But through the support of you all, and my family and friends and the mystery man, I have been able to dig deeper than I ever thought possible. And deep down in the ground, I found gold.

I have found a company that means the world to me, with a staff that inspires me each day.

I have found a friend group that loves me for me, that challenges me to be better and braver and happier along the way.

I have found my way back to my family, to see my parents as adults—who can be flawed just like we all can be—but who remain my anchors, my greatest advisers, and my friends.

I have found Dennis. (Fine, mystery revealed: That’s his name.

And guess what, Marvelettes-slash-Post Malones?

It’s Mr. Postman. But it seems like you guys knew he was the one way before I did.) He has shown me how to let love back in and reminded me that the way things can look on paper, when we write down how we think our life will go, well, it doesn’t always turn out like we expected.

Right can be wrong, and wrong can be right, and that’s okay.

But when you feel it, when you’re honest with yourself and you still say yes, that’s real love.

That’s real trust. And it’s worth the work, the risk, the vulnerability it takes.

(And on the Dennis front—we have laid some ground rules, which I recommend anyone who runs a public-facing account should follow.

Seek permission before you post! Dennis has read this and says hi. )

Lastly, I have found peace within myself and a realization for the first time in my life that my body was never the problem. This is a dream I have for each of you to realize. My way back to this readership has been the most transforming, rewarding life change of all. Thank you for growing with me.

Love,

Sunny