Page 45 of Sunny Side Up

“I felt like I’d failed you, again,” she continued with a shaky voice. “You are my baby girl, no matter how grown-up you are. I just wanted to make everything easier for you, and I had no idea how to do that when he left.”

I took her hands in mine and squeezed them.

“All you’ve ever wanted is the best for me, I know that,” I said.

“And I am happy, Mom. The divorce is truly one of the best things that ever happened. I mean, look at all of this!” I looked around, then back to her.

“Ending things with Zack allowed me to shed baggage I didn’t even realize I’d been lugging around.

I’m like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon! ” I flapped my fake wings.

She laughed.

“I’m so proud of you, Sunny,” she said, nodding and wiping her face with the back of her hand. “I love you.”

I hugged her again, bigger this time, with a squeeze and a lift up off the ground. “I love you, too, Mom.”

“Sunny?” It was Avery.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt—Hi, Mrs. Greene!”

“Hi sweetie,” my mom said to her, smiling. “Congratulations. To both of you. Okay, I’m going to find your father so you can focus. I’ll be front row, cheering you on.”

Soon, Lady Luqq’s beachy, downtempo soundtrack was mixing with the hum of arriving guests: friends, family, editors, buyers, press, my favorite body acceptance influencers, and Sunny Side Up subscribers who’d won entry through a major giveaway promotion we’d held online.

We’d received way more entries than anticipated and were already talking about doing another SONNY event exclusive to SSU readers.

Avery came up to me. “Can you even believe this is happening!” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

I hugged her back. “I feel like I’m about to throw up butterflies.”

We took in the room, now rollicking with conversation and warmth. I caught Kateryna’s eye from across the stage, where our makeshift backstage setup was. She beckoned us over.

“You ladies ready?” she asked when we arrived.

“Not at all,” Avery teased.

“Can you see any sweat stains?” I asked, raising my arms.

“None,” Kateryna said. “Calm down, you two. It’s a great crowd out there. The product looks amazing, people have already asked to buy. I told them to wait until after Sunny’s kickoff presentation. This is going to be incredible.”

“Thank you,” I said. “Both of you. You’ve both worked so hard, through weekends and sleepless nights. Now we get to share it.”

Avery handed me a microphone and I walked to the front of the room.

I took in the audience, nearly all of whom, thanks to my heels amplifying my already great height, I could see.

The event itself was set up like a cocktail party: SONNY-clad models mingled among the guests, drinking elixirs and cocktails, all with matching orange tortoiseshell, yellow-tinted aviators on their faces; some of them wore handmade woven, floppy straw bucket hats; others had enormous straw beach bags slung over their shoulders.

The models wore a range of sizes, but the majority represented the luxury swim market’s most overlooked customers.

This array of body types in my swimwear —showing the suits off with pride, everyone else oohing and aahing over the various styles—it was something I’d been imagining for months now.

Bikinis with bright tomato prints, gorgeously cut one-pieces in bold stripes, and flowy caftans destined to be on a yacht.

What I hadn’t realized was how validating it would feel.

Avery turned the music down low, and an excited murmur buzzed through the crowd.

Scattered throughout were three men in particular who made it impossible for me to relax: Dennis, who I hadn’t seen in person since he left my apartment, and who I desperately needed to talk to, face-to-face, outside of his noticeably pulled-back texts; Ted, who I’d resolved to formally end things with (there couldn’t be a worse time); and then Zack.

Whose podcast offer I’d yet to accept. Whose recent influx of communication was beginning to teeter into flirtatious.

Whose presence had just been discovered by Michael and my parents, all three of whom were trying to catch my eye to mouth variations on “What is he doing here, Sunny?!”

Avery gave me the thumbs-up to begin. I took a deep breath. All three men would have to wait.

“Hi everyone. Thank you so much for being here today. I’m Sunny Greene—” I paused for the whoops and cheers of my closest friends and my sweet, embarrassing dad.

“Welcome to the official launch of SONNY.” The crowd joined in this time with applause and more cheering. I heard my mom’s two-finger game-day whistle.

“The idea for this company was born during one of the lowest lows of my adult life. I was fresh out of a divorce, heavier than I’d ever been, having a full-on panic attack in the Bergdorf Goodman dressing room, stuck —like, literally stuck, call-the-fire-department stuck—in a too-small swimsuit I didn’t even like. ”

A woman in the audience whooped at that, which made me laugh. I pointed in her general direction like a comedian working on her tight-five stand-up: “Yes, thank you. Shout-out to anyone who’s ever experienced dressing-room panic.”

The crowd of women went wild at that.

“Or even, who’s experienced that horrible feeling in the privacy of your own bedroom, trying on a bunch of last-ditch-effort swimsuits that you found online, that look nothing like their pictures, and you’re standing there in the mirror, feeling catfished by your own body.”

More cheers. More whoops. Laughter. My mom’s ear-piercing whistle. Someone yelled “FUCK THAT,” which I really appreciated.

“Okay, so it sounds like all of you have been there at some point. Which is exactly why I decided to take matters into my own hands. To make beautiful swimsuits—Kateryna, that’s all you—”

Her husband whooped the loudest there.

“—to make beautiful, cool, stylish-ass swimsuits that women of every size can be excited to wear. That make you feel confident, proud, thrilled to be half-naked in public—”

I paused for more laughter. God, no wonder comedians got addicted to this.

“Or: that simply let you live your damn life . Maybe you just want a swimsuit that you can put on and forget about. No tugging, tucking, lifting, hiding. A swimsuit that allows you to enjoy your day at the beach, or the pool, or under the sprinklers, or wherever.”

“AMEN,” someone yelled, and once again, the crowd cheered.

“None of this would be possible without SONNY’s incredible team: Avery, who captains this wild ship and manages to keep all of us sane.

Kateryna, who can turn anything into a work of art, and whose craftsmanship has long been one of the reasons I’ve been able to step out into the world and feel fantastic about my outfits.

Ted Manns, thank you for believing in us, for getting this off the ground, and not letting us slow down. Team LE BALLON ROUGE—”

I paused for the Lbr crew to let out their respective whoops.

“Thank you for bearing with me, for taking on extra work—I promise the holiday bonuses will come in hot this year—for supporting this, for running the office without me—I know I’ve been like the lawyer-absentee-dad-Jim Carrey in Liar Liar . Thank you for being all-around incredible.

“And thank you to everyone here: friends, family, loved ones, all of the press—you have been so supportive already, which is critical to a small brand like us, hoping to make it—”

“WE LOVE YOU, SUNNY SIDE UP,” yelled a woman from the audience. Her friend next to her pointed to her homemade shirt that said Mr. Postman . Oop. Well, that could mean anything.

“I love YOU ,” I yelled back.

Avery caught my eye and gave me the “wrap it up” signal.

“It is the privilege, honor, and gift of a lifetime to introduce you to our new size-inclusive luxury swimwear line, SONNY.”

The audience erupted again, louder this time, in applause, whooping, whistling, cheers. I couldn’t believe it. I did it. We did it! As the crowd got back to their “high vibrational” tonics and cocktails, I put the mic down and set off to find the man whose smile I most desperately wanted to see.

“That was incredible!” I heard Ted say, his warm voice surrounding me, his arms wrapping me up just as I was about to step down off the stage.

Then time stopped. It was as if all the noise in the world went silent.

Ted slid his hand into my hair, pulled my face to his, and surprised me with a very public, very nonprofessional kiss. And because my eyes had stayed open in surprise, that’s when I saw him.

Dennis.