Page 46 of Sunny Side Up

twenty-two

Damage control is so much easier in the movies. The crowd parts and the protagonist beelines to the wounded party, with heartfelt, beautiful apologies falling like poetry from the sky.

My damage control was a whole lot messier.

“We did it! You did it! I can tell this is such a success already. I can’t wait to see the numbers tomorrow.

” Ted was ecstatic in my ear. He was proud of our company, and that was contagious.

But I had to separate our entrepreneurial spirit from the facts at hand.

That he had kissed me, when all eyes were still on me right after my speech, in a gesture straight from a romance novel.

In front of the crowd. In front of my parents.

In front of Dennis . I needed to fix this.

Luckily, Lady Luqq and the crowd had dispersed, talking among themselves, tasting samples, ducking behind privacy screens to try on swimwear. It was like a raging party and a joyful shopping experience, all in one. I wanted to enjoy it, but I couldn’t. I had to fix my love life first.

“Ted, I’m so grateful for all that you’ve done to shepherd us through this process,” I said to him now, trying to act more business than casual. “I’m looking forward to going through everything next week at the office, too.”

“I’m looking forward to much more than that,” Ted said flirtatiously, grabbing for my hand.

I dodged his touch and watched as confusion washed over his face.

“Let’s talk more tomorrow,” I said, hoping politely that he might temporarily read between the lines.

“Sure, sure,” Ted said, transforming back into Professional Businessman. “I’m going to go say hi to a few people. We’ll connect after.”

I wanted to sit down, pass out in the nearest chair, but as I spun around to go and search for Dennis, I found myself face-to-face with Zack.

“Now’s not the best time—” I started, but then stopped. Because I realized that Zack stood with his arm around a woman with a very familiar face. Zack hadn’t simply brought a date to the biggest career event of my life.

He’d brought Jessica Rose Baker.

I was stunned.

“Congratulations!” Zack said, ignoring my paralysis and embracing me in a big hug.

“That was amazing! You go girl,” Jessica said, her voice ever-too-high-pitched.

“It’s so nice to meet you. I’m such a fan.

I didn’t know Zack was coming to your event until this morning, and I just had to come with.

I’m Jessica.” She stuck out her hand. “I’m Zack’s girlfriend.

Or as he would say, his roommate—we just moved in together. Zack’s so funny like that.”

And then, the world actually did freeze a little. My blood went ten degrees colder.

Because of course Zack showed up to my launch with his girlfriend.

Of course.

I could tell my face was visibly reeling, because I saw Zack wince in my direction.

I tried to recalibrate my emotions, to pull myself together, to play the part of Poised CEO on a Very Important Day.

“I mean, wow, uh, con—congratulations on moving in together. That’s a big grown-up move, Zack! You ready for that?”

I was starting to lose my cool.

Zack put his arm back around Jessica’s shoulders, presumably in an attempt to begin steering her to another part of the room. But why had he brought her here, if not to shove his newfound happiness in my face?

If there was charged energy between Zack and me, she didn’t pick up on it. “Thank you!” She smiled. “It was a long time coming. Zacky and I have been together for almost two years now, if you can believe time flies that fast!”

Zack winced but recovered fast.

Suddenly, I could see it clear as day.

Two years.

He had been cheating on me while we were married. Even before we’d gotten engaged.

He hadn’t been interested in rekindling our relationship these past few weeks, not even our friendship.

Zack was just doing what Zack always did.

Using people for any advantage, any way they could serve him . That’s what narcissists did, after all.

And now that my career was shiny again, he’d come wanting to put me back on his shelf. Wanting to preserve any connection he might have to something that could be useful to him once more. Wanting to protect his angle, his story.

For so long, I’d thought there was something wrong with me. That I was wrong. That my body was wrong. I had given everything to my relationship with Zack. I had twisted to conform to every criticism, I had taken his every complaint as scripture. Even that hadn’t been enough.

But that’s not because I was broken, I realized now, as I stared at Zack with his new— no , I corrected myself, his longtime, live-in —girlfriend. Jessica Rose Baker was just the next me, doomed to love a selfish man who wasn’t programmed to love anyone back.

It was Zack’s voice that had taught me how to hate myself.

I wouldn’t listen to it anymore.

I opened my eyes, and I was back in the restaurant space, back in the present. Back in the celebration that I was throwing, for the company that would empower so many women who, like me, had let the darker parts of the world dim their spirits.

He wasn’t my problem anymore.

Part of me wanted to kick him out of the launch. To throw my drink in his face. (Well, I wasn’t holding a drink—so grab a drink, and then throw it in his face.) I exhaled.

“Thank you so much for coming,” I said, all smiles. “And Zack, thanks again for your podcast offer. I’m going to focus on my own ventures at this time. So you can count me out .”

“Sunny, please think about this—” Zack said.

“Oh, boo,” Jessica pouted. “If you joined his network, he’d get a $50,000 signing bonus. We were counting on that for our mortgage on the new place.” Zack threw his hands up to the sky, knowing she had just revealed one of probably many ulterior motives.

I had to laugh. To think Zack still needed me to put a down payment on an apartment? He was nothing but a punch line.

“I’m sure he’ll be just fine,” I said to Jessica with a smile. “Thank you for coming!” Then I turned and walked away, Zack finally in my rearview.

For good.

As I made my way through the room, patrons offered their congratulations, tugging on my sleeves. Familiar faces and former coworkers gave hugs, and Harrison saluted from across the space. This was the physical embodiment, the literal manifestation of what I had worked for.

And yet: no Dennis.

He was nowhere to be seen.

Avery saw my worried face, my wandering eyes. “What’s wrong? Can I get you something?”

“No, no, you enjoy today,” I said. “I’m just looking for Dennis. I wanted to say hi.”

Avery pouted, scanning the crowd. “I don’t see him either. He must have just left?”

“Yeah, he must have.”

I excused myself and walked to the back room where we’d been storing our belongings. I found my bag, dug through it until I had my phone in hand, and saw his name in the list of notifications on my screen. Dennis had texted me an entire novel. My stomach dropped with a sickening thud.

Dennis: Hey Sunny. Congrats on your launch, and I mean that.

But I gotta be honest. I just learned about your newsletter, and I feel a little played.

These two girls came up to me before your speech and asked if I was “Mr. Postman.” Apparently my basketball shorts were a dead giveaway?

I had no idea what they were talking about; they told me that they were your biggest fans.

One told me about how you changed her life, and that didn’t surprise me at all.

The other one said she was mostly a fan of the “dating stuff,” which is how she picked me out of the crowd.

She showed me screenshots she’d saved on her phone—I guess she’s in some group text about it?

The wedding date ultimatum. The “Silver Fox.” Some cowboy?

There’s been other men the whole time? You wrote about me?

About us? I thought we had something special.

… I don’t even really know what to say. I guess, just leave me out of your publicity stunts, okay?