Page 48 of Sunflower Persona (Classic City Romance #2)

Kori

For what?

To pick you up for Friendsgivmas.

I’m not going.

M y phone rings seconds after I hit send, with Evelyn’s name on the screen. She doesn’t wait for me to say “hello” before she starts hounding me.

“What do you mean, you aren’t going?”

“I didn’t think the invite still stood after…well, you know.”

“Of course it still stands. The others miss you. Nathan has been bugging me nonstop for weeks about when you are coming out with us again. I figured it was too soon for Cutter’s, but you can’t skip on Friendsgivmas.

The whole point is to spend the day with friends.

All of them. Chelsea is even going to call in for a little while. ”

“I don’t know if spending an afternoon with my ex is a great idea.”

“Don’t worry about Gage. You and I both know he won’t bother you.”

That’s what I’m scared of. Being ignored by him will hurt worse than any rude words or spiteful glances ever could. I’ve never been on the receiving end of his cold indifference, and even if it’s selfish, I don’t want to be strangers.

“Evelyn…”

“Please. I promise it will be fun. If it’s awful, I will do a Godzilla movie marathon with you as penance.”

The promise of a kaiju marathon is too great to turn away. Especially when I’m sure this will end up as one of the top ten most awkward days of my life. Mark my words, our next movie night is going to be amazing.

“Fine,” I relent, and she squeals.

“Yay, I’ll see you in a few.”

The line goes dead, and I fall back on my bed with an exasperated sigh. This is a terrible fucking idea. Knowing that, I still start to get ready, grabbing a new oversized sweater dress and slipping it on.

It’s black. Yellow doesn’t bring the same joy it did before.

***

The furious pounding of my heart echoes in my ears, making it impossible to hear Evelyn’s peppy chatter. I smile, nod, and pretend like the nerves aren’t trying to burst out of my chest like the creature from Alien .

This was a bad idea, made worse by how I don’t feel like me. When I went home for actual Thanksgiving last week, Mom insisted that I do a post-breakup makeover with her. She claimed it was a quintessential heartbreak experience.

I’m not sold on its effectiveness.

The nails and bags full of clothes and makeup were excessive, but I’ll own up to it being well past due to take my braids out and give my natural hair some room to breathe.

In all the movies, the heartbroken girl wears her new look like a coat of armor, but I don’t find the same strength.

Not only do I have to face my ex today, I’m doing it while cosplaying as something I’m not.

The girl dressed in black with dark lips and a thick cloud of tight curls framing her face doesn’t feel like me—even if she is hot.

Cold sweat gathers on the back of my neck as we approach James and Morgan’s apartment, and I swallow back the icy shard of fear clinging to my throat.

In the depths of my heart, I know I’m not ready to see Gage again.

Remnants of love still cling in hard-to-reach places, waiting to be knocked loose and cause another cycle of pain.

This would be so much easier if I hated him—or if he hated me.

Our mutual heartache is a recipe for a bad time for all involved.

I should leave now, Godzilla be damned. Evelyn knocks before I get the chance to act on the impulse.

James opens the door and greets us both with a warm smile, pulling Evelyn in for a tight hug and then doing the same for me. As if she’s as happy to see me as she is her friend. As if I’m not a tagalong they felt too uncomfortable to uninvite.

“Kori,” Nathan shouts as I step inside.

The blond man hops off the bar chair, raising a glass bottle in the air as he pulls me in for a sloppy hug.

Why are they all so touchy?

Although I don’t hate it as much as I used to.

It’s safe to assume this isn’t his first drink of the evening—or the second. But beyond that, his excitement seems genuine, at least to me. There’s life in his glassy eyes, making them feel more like a shimmering pool than something glacial.

“How have you been?” he asks with an arm still wrapped around my shoulder.

“I’ve been good,” I tell him.

It’s not a lie, either. Yes, getting dumped sucked, but I’m not the type to dwell on things I can’t change.

And I’m sure as hell not going to let one man and his inability to cope consume me.

I vented my frustrations to anyone who would listen—and there were lots of them—but over the weeks, my frustration lost its steam, and while my heart is still sad at the outcome of all this, it isn’t broken.

Broken implies there is something that has to be fixed.

“Well, you look good. I wasn’t expecting you to show up and go all Princess Diana’s divorce dress on us.”

“Thank you?” I’m not entirely sure that’s a compliment, but I don’t push back.

Before he can say anything else, another knock raps on the door. This time Morgan is the one who pulls away from the prep happening in the kitchen, stopping only to wrap his arms around his chatting girlfriend and place a quick kiss on the top of her head.

My gaze drops away from the casual display of affection as a dull ache fills my chest. When I look back up, Gage is there—Karis too, but I barely notice her beside the giant of a man.

That ache morphs into an uncomfortable throbbing that reaches from my hollow chest all the way to my toes.

He’s wearing the same outfit he wore to our first date—black button-up, dark-wash jeans, and those well-worn combat boots he loves so much—and he looks about as uncomfortable as he did in my dorm’s lobby.

Karis pushes past him into the room, but he doesn’t move from the doorway as he stares at me, drinking me in with unbridled desire. I don’t move either. I don’t think I could if I tried. His gaze is a tractor beam locking me in place while he looks his fill.

Well, I can look my fill too.

That lust in his eyes turns into another sort of heat when he notices Nathan’s arm wrapped around me. His nostrils flare as he stomps forward, but the tension shatters as Karis steps between us.

“New girl, you made it,” she says without any attempt at faking enthusiasm.

So maybe everyone isn’t happy to see me. Not that I blame her. At the end of the day, I was the one who made the final call on ending things—I’m the bad guy here.

“Sorry we’re late. Is it time to eat?” she asks our hosts.

“Ask Nathan. He was in charge of the important shit,” James says.

“Yeah, we can eat,” he responds, and his arm falls away as he strolls back into the kitchen.

The group comes alive in a flurry then, bickering and laughing while they fill their plates. Gage and I are the only ones left on the outside. After a few tense minutes, he finally moves from the spot in front of the doorway, but he doesn’t join his friends in the kitchen.

“Hey, L—Kori,” he says but doesn’t look at me again.

Good. It’s easier to breathe without the weight of his eyes on me.

“Hey,” I respond, fidgeting with one of my thick coils.

“You look…different. Nice, but different.”

“Thanks.”

He doesn’t say anything else before grabbing a plate of his own. With a sigh, I follow him into the crowded kitchen.

I’m definitely getting my movie marathon.

By the time I fix my plate, there’s only one seat left, sandwiched between Nathan and Gage at the counter.

Fucking perfect. I glare at the back of Evelyn’s head before I squeeze into that cursed spot, leaving as much space as possible between me and my ex.

Unfortunately, that means getting real up close and personal with his best friend.

“Saved you a seat,” Nathan says as he slings his arm over the back of my chair.

“Thanks,” I mumble and poke around at the food on my plate with disinterest.

“Listen…” His voice drops as he brings his head in closer like he’s telling me a secret. “I have a favor to ask, and you are going to say no, but at least hear me out before telling me to fuck off.”

“Uh…okay.”

This already sounds like a terrible idea.

“The girls are planning on FaceTiming with Chelsea before we start the ‘Christmas’ portion of the night, and I’m scared shitless. It’s the first time I’ll have talked to her or seen her since she left.”

“Okay?”

“She doesn’t know you. Sure, Evelyn has probably told her all the drama, but that just makes this work even better.”

“Makes what work even better?”

“You pretending to be into me.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Maybe he’s had more to drink tonight than I thought.

“Just for, like, thirty minutes max. All I’m asking is for you to sit next to me and smile in my direction a few times. Maybe a little bit of light touching.” He brushes his fingers over my shoulder to show exactly what he means.

“What is the point of this convoluted plan?”

“To make Chelsea think I’m not still hung up on her.”

“But you are?” I clarify.

“Oh, without a doubt. But I don’t want her to know that,” he says with a sly grin.

“Fine,” I tell him with a grin of my own.

“Now, hear me out—wait, really?”

“What’s the worst that can happen?”

It will certainly be more fun than trying to ignore the brooding man next to me. At least with this scheme, I’ll be doing something other than wallowing in the awkward energy.

“You are an angel,” he says, and I giggle as he places a wet kiss on my cheek.

The plastic fork snaps in Gage’s hand with a loud crack , drawing my attention away from Nathan and his awful plan.

In the next breath, my ex pushes away from the counter.

The legs of his chair cry out against the floor with an ear-splitting screech, cutting off all the conversation in the room.

Every eye in the room is glued to him as he grabs his plate, dumps it in the trash, and walks toward the exit without any sense of urgency.

“Thanks for having me,” he grumbles and disappears through the door.

The room is completely silent for a beat before Karis and I jump to our feet at the same time.

We both freeze, and she catches my gaze with a challenging glare, but I don’t wither under the pressure.

After a moment, she looks away and nods toward the door.

That’s the only signal I need to unlock my muscles and chase after him.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going,” I call out as I follow him into the hallway.

He stumbles over his feet as he stops his retreat. His shoulders stiffen, heaving with each controlled breath he takes, but he doesn’t turn to look at me.

“I can’t do this, Low.” He turns toward the wall and places his forearm in front of his face, and his whole body seems to collapse into it.

There’s so much raw anguish in his voice, I don’t correct the use of the nickname.

“Do what?” I ask.

“Act like it isn’t tearing me up inside to be near you but not be able to reach out and hold you like I want. Pretend that I’m not jealous of every one of your smiles that I didn’t put there. See you happy and thriving with my friends, and know that it’s in spite of me not because of me.”

“Gage—” I creep closer, standing only a few feet behind him, but he’s too caught up in his own torment to notice me.

“No, Kori, I don’t need you to comfort me. I’m the one who’s clearly not coping here. You aren’t doing anything wrong by being okay or by having fun with your friends. I just can’t be around while you do. Now go back inside and forget about me.”

“No.”

“No?”

“You heard me. Those are your friends in there. They have known you and loved you way longer than they’ve known me. So if one of us has to go, it’s me.”

It’s not like I’m not used to being alone anyway. Gage, though—he needs them more than I do. I’m okay with starting over again. They are all he has.

“Fuck that—”

He whirls around but falters when he sees me only a step away.

His eyes widen, and for the briefest of seconds, everything he’s tried so hard to hide away is written clearly on his features.

He’s so lost. I can’t help but reach out and cup his face to anchor him, and his hand covers mine without hesitation.

“I’m not stealing the people you love from you,” I tell him with no room for argument. I still love him too much to be that cruel.

His lids fall closed as he melts into my palm.

“Okay,” he says after a beat. “I’m sorry, Kori.”

“Don’t be sorry. Go have fun. I’ll see you around, yeah?” My voice chokes on the lie.

Sparks shoot through my body as he turns his head and places a soft kiss in the center of my palm. My heart flutters with all that stupid love that refuses to go away completely.

“Yeah. I’ll see you around,” he says as he pulls away and walks back to his friends without a backward glance.

I ignore the stream of incoming calls and texts from Evelyn and Nathan while I take the long way back to my dorm.

They won’t understand why I had to do this.

That I’m not giving up on them, but giving Gage the space he needs to heal.

It’s not like I’m going to block them out completely, either, but I need to find a place here on campus that isn’t so interwoven with him.

I need my own space to heal too. And maybe in a few months, we can try the whole friends thing again.

Maybe there will be a day when I see his face and my heart doesn’t swell with the love that used to be there.

But that isn’t today.