Page 44 of Sunflower Persona (Classic City Romance #2)

Kori

A loud bang echoes around my room as I slam the door shut with more force than necessary. But damn if it doesn’t feel good to get some of this churning, angry energy out somewhere. It hasn’t stopped vibrating under my skin—begging for retribution—since I stormed out of Gage’s apartment.

Outside of the initial shock, I’ve felt nothing but all-consuming rage. I’m sure the heartbreak will come later, but I haven’t had time to process those feelings when I’m still reeling from the audacity.

Ending things is one thing, but trying to play the martyr while doing it…just no.

He doesn’t get to pretend he’s saving me. He doesn’t get to rip my heart out and act like he’s doing me a favor.

I pace around my room with fury driving each step as I play back our last conversation in my head. There are so many things I wanted to say—should have said—that burn on my tongue. The vitriol brewing is so caustic, I’m surprised it hasn’t burned through my lips to force its way out.

“Goddamnit, Daisy, why didn’t you warn me men were cowardice pigs.”

For once in her life, the duck is silent. I roll my eyes and continue stomping around in my tight circle.

“He said he isn’t good enough for me. Can you believe him? If he wanted out, that’s all he had to say. He didn’t have to try to lessen the blow by making excuses for himself.”

A frustrated shriek pours out of my lips when I don’t get any kind of response. Maybe I’ve become too reliant on talking with my real friends. Or maybe this is one problem I can’t work through on my own.

I need to call Evelyn, but if I do it now, I’m going to snap—I can feel it.

She was one of the ones who pushed me at him in the first place.

Hell, they all did. I wouldn’t be in this position if I had let my crush live on unrequited until it eventually faded away.

So as much as my fingers twitch to pick up the phone, I don’t.

At least not until the last of the irritation bleeds away hours later.

But nothing takes its place, leaving me a hollow husk of the joyful girl who woke up this morning. I keep waiting for something to fill the void—the agonizing pain of heartbreak—but nothing comes.

It’s with that emptiness I finally call my friend. She picks up after the first ring.

“Kori? Is everything okay?” Her voice is filled with concern.

Mine would be too if the situation was reversed. We’ve only ever exchanged text messages before this. Calls are reserved for emergencies and death—breakups definitely qualify.

“Gage dumped me.” I hate how calm the words come out.

She doesn’t say anything for several seconds. The silence hangs for so long that I check to make sure the line is connected, but it is.

“Evelyn…are you there?” I ask.

“Shit, sorry. Yes. Holy fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m coming over now. What’s your favorite ice cream? Scratch that, I’ll bring them all. And wine.”

“You really don’t have to—”

“I’ll be there in ten,” she says as the line goes dead.

It’s more than I was hoping for, but maybe a good old-fashioned girls’ night is what I need to stop feeling so hollow.

That’s what they always do in the movies.

Eight minutes later, a knock raps on my door.

She’s on me before I have it fully open, hugging me tightly with forgotten plastic bags still in each hand.

An icy chill sinks through plastic into my clothes—that one must have the ice cream.

“How are you holding up?” she asks once she lets me go.

“I’m surprisingly okay.” Scarily okay, actually.

Her lips purse with sympathetic understanding as she ushers me to sit on my bed.

“Chocolate or vanilla?”

I shrug.

“Chocolate it is.” She pulls out a spoon and sticks it directly into the half-eaten tub before handing it over to me. “Now tell me what hap—”

A forceful knock cuts her words short.

“Are you expecting someone?” Her brows pinch in confusion.

I shrug again. Talking feels like more energy than I have to give. When I don’t make any move to acknowledge whoever’s on the other side, my friend gets up. The door is barely cracked before Karis barrels in like a bat out of hell.

“What the fuck happened,” she asks as soon as she’s inside.

“Oh, hi, Karis. It’s nice to see you too. Me? I’m great, so kind of you to ask. Sure, come on in,” Evelyn says in an exasperated tone.

“Hi, Evelyn. Hi, Kori. Now what the fuck happened?” Karis asks our friend.

“I’m not sure. We were getting into that before you barged in here.”

“Gage dumped me,” I supply before they can continue.

Saying it again doesn’t make it feel any more real.

“I know, hon.” Karis sits next to me on the bed and puts a ring-covered hand on my shoulder. “But start from the beginning.”

“I really don’t know what happened. Things were really, really good this morning.

He was talking about getting me back to Athens so we could spend tonight together and was as affectionate as always.

But then his car broke down, and it was like a switch flipped.

He shut down completely and acted like an asshole.

When I tried to talk to him about it once we got back to his place, he said we were done. ”

We’re done.

Why doesn’t that thought stir anything inside me?

“Fuck,” Karis mutters as Evelyn swoops in to take the spot on my other side.

“I really hate to be this person, but it’s important. How long ago was this, and where did it happen?” Karis asks.

“A few hours ago at his place,” I deadpan.

“Fuck,” she says again, and without another word, she exits with the same abruptness with which she arrived.

Evelyn shakes her head and ignores our edgy friend’s departure, turning her attention back to the forgotten ice cream.

“I’m so sorry, Kori. Gage is an absolute fool if he doesn’t see how big of a mistake he’s making.”

“Can we skip the ex talk and jump straight into the junk food and movies?” I ask.

She gives me a strange look but acquiesces to my request and turns on my TV.

“What are you feeling?” she asks.

“Something that screams feminine rage.”

“I’ve got just the thing.”

***

Movies, ice cream, and half a bottle of wine don’t actually make me feel any better.

But they don’t make me feel any worse either.

That would require me to feel something other than the aching emptiness inside me.

I’m not numb—every thought of him arrives on the edge of a dull blade—but there’s nowhere for that pain to stick.

I’m hollow; as sharp as those memories are, the ache falls into an abyss after a few agonizing breaths.

Maybe after enough time, I’ll be filled up by heartbreak, and maybe then I’ll finally mourn the way I’m supposed to.

After a lot of convincing, I manage to get Evelyn to leave.

She wanted to spend the night “so I wouldn’t be alone,” but after both volumes of Kill Bill and Pacific Rim, I decided enough was enough.

I couldn’t stand the constant look of pity on her face or the way she watched me like I might break down at any moment.

I’m not sure being alone is any better. At least when she was here, I had someone to distract me from my thoughts. Now, in the dark of my room, they keep drifting back to him. How could they not when his presence has tainted everything in here.

The plush fuzz of my favorite blanket is the same one I wrapped myself in when he showed up at my door and claimed me once and for all.

The Godzilla posters remind me of the nights spent on his sofa, filled with tentative touches as he listened to my endless commentary while we watched the films. Even my favorite color has been ruined.

I can’t look at the bright hue without hearing the way his voice softened when he called me Low or seeing how the corners of his lips curved with a smile that was reserved for me.

Fuck him for embedding himself so deeply into my life in only a few short months.

And fuck him for making it so easy for me to love him.

The surge of emotions I’ve been waiting for finally makes an appearance, crashing through my body in a destructive wave. A thick lump lodges itself in my throat as hot tears burn behind my eyes.

He is never going to kiss me again, or hold me, or listen to me ramble about whatever nonsense comes to my head.

I’m never going to feel that same sense of safety that his presence brought.

I’ll never hear the rasp of his stern commands when he thinks he knows what’s best for me, and I’ll never see the spark in his eyes when I fight back.

No more late-night movie dates or goodnight texts.

We are back to being strangers—worse now, because I doubt I’ll be able to escape seeing him.

Not if his friends still want me around.

My chest constricts at the thought.

Losing him is hard, but losing all of them…that’s what I feared most from the start.

A sob tears through me like an earthquake, letting loose the tsunami of tears. I clutch my pillow to my chest and cry even harder at the faintest whiff of his clean scent that clings to the cotton.

My weeping is endless. Those tears flow until my throat is raw and my eyes swell shut, and even once the well runs dry, my body heaves with silent gasps.

I’m exhausted by the time I pull myself together—mind, body, and soul.

But as I lie in my pitch-black room, I steel myself against my heartbreak.

This will not happen again. Gage Maher will never get another one of my tears.