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‘Get out of my way,’ I growled.
‘Miss Linton,’ he said softly. ‘Has it occurred to you that if you kill somebody in the middle of a crowded ballroom, you might be thrown into prison?’
‘I don't care!’
He studied my face. ‘Yes, you probably don't, at the moment. But what about your sister? I’m sure she would.’
I hesitated. He was right. Besides… I had never actually killed anybody before. I might not get it right the first time.
‘May I suggest an alternative solution?’ he said.
‘You don't mean that silly plan of yours to just select a random blonde and throw her in his way?’
‘It’s not silly.’
‘It is!’
‘It’s not. And I’ll just have to prove it to you - if only to keep you out of prison.’
Grabbing my hand, he started pulling me towards one of the raised niches that overlooked the ballroom, on the opposite side of the room from the large windows.
‘What are you doing?’ I exclaimed, as he pulled me through a throng of noble ladies, who gazed after us with interest. It was not common for a man to hold a lady’s hand at a ball, still less to pull her through the crowd.
‘Helping you,’ was his cheerful answer. ‘We need to take up a position from where we can inspect our possible recruits. Then we can discuss candidates and pick the unlucky lady whose fate it will be to save your sister’s life, love and honour.’
Before I could free myself, he had pulled me up the steps into the raised niche he had been heading towards. We could see over the heads of the guests and had a good view of the entire ballroom.
‘Now, do you see any likely blue-eyed lady?’ he prompted, sweeping his arm across the crowd.
Was he honestly asking me to look for someone I thought could replace my sister?
‘No,’ I growled, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I wasn’t going to play this ridiculous game!
Even though it might be fun? asked a little voice in the back of my head. I ignored it.
‘Not one, Miss Linton?’
‘Well…’ His smile was so coaxing, so charming… Reluctantly I pointed to one random lady. ‘There’s one over there.’
‘No,’ he decided. ‘She has brown hair. Didn’t I tell you Flip likes to fall in love with blondes? Don’t ask me why he does it, I find brunettes much more interesting.’ He winked at me! He actually had the nerve to wink at me! ‘But for Flip, the ladies have to be blonde.’
‘Any other requirements?’ I asked, as sourly as possible. But I was hard-pressed to keep a grin off my face. ‘Should she have a tiny waist? Or two noses, perhaps?’
‘Well, one that isn’t over eighty would probably have a greater chance of engaging his affections.’
Against my will, my lips twitched.
‘What about her?’ He pointed to another young lady.
‘She has a face like a horse.’
‘So does Flip. They should suit each other admirably.’
‘In case you hadn’t noticed, Captain Carter, ugly men are no less fond of pretty girls than others.’
‘True,’ he sighed. ‘What a shallow sex we are. Now… what about her?’
‘She looks nice enough, there is only one problem.’
‘Which is?’
‘The ring on her finger. She’s married.’
Captain Carter waved a hand, dismissively. ‘We don't need to tell Flip that. He’s short-sighted, he probably wouldn’t notice.’
‘Captain!’
‘Besides, we don't need her for long. We would only borrow her for one night. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.’
I hadn’t thought there existed a man in England who could shock me. I had been wrong.
‘Her husband might,’ I pointed out, drily.
The Captain nodded earnestly. ‘I bow to your superior knowledge of men, Miss Linton. So… on to the next one.’
‘What about her?’ I said, feeling a silly grin appear on my face. ‘The one with the perky nose and big hoop skirt?’
‘I don't think so. She looks rather like a fat woodpecker.’
‘Hmm… maybe. And the one on her left?’
‘She would be perfect,’ Captain Carter admitted. ‘Only, Flip already fell in love with her two months ago, and I’m not quite sure he has forgotten yet.’
‘You talk about falling in love as other people would about a visit to the hairdresser!’
‘Not quite. Flip has his hair cut about once every fortnight, but he usually manages to fall in and out of love once a week.’
‘Um… then maybe the most intelligent approach would be to first exclude all the ladies he has already fallen in love with once?’
‘You’re quite right!’ His face lit up. ‘How clever of you, I would never have thought of that. Well, let me think… there’s Miss Alden, Miss Cokes, Miss Howard, Lady Darwin, Lady Caroline…’
‘Lady Caroline? She’s at least seventy years old!’
‘Yes, he fell in love with the back of her head and changed his mind when she turned around.’
I squinted at him suspiciously.
‘Are you making half of this up?’
‘What do you think of me, Miss Linton,’ he said with grave propriety. ‘That I would joke when such serious matters are at stake?’
‘Yes.’
‘Marvellous. You already know me so well.’
Whipping out my fan, I gave him a sharp jab into the ribs. He flinched in a very gratifying way.
‘Be serious, Captain! My sister’s welfare is at stake here!’
Rubbing his ribs, he gave me a smile. His smile was quite charming, particularly with that perky little spot of beard at the bottom of his strong face, which made him look like a trickster out of some old northern legend.
‘For you, I shall do my best to be serious, Miss Linton. Though I can’t promise anything.’
‘Very well.’ Content, I turned to the crowd again and pointed with my fan. ‘What about her?’
‘Flip! There you are, my dear fellow!’
At the sound of Captain Carter’s voice, Sir Philip turned around. ‘Carter!’ he exclaimed. ‘I’ve been looking for you, to…’