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‘I mean that my sister might do something rash.’
‘Something more rash than agreeing to marry a man whom she can’t stand?’
‘Yes!’
‘Oh, I see. That’s rash, indeed.’
He didn’t sound nearly serious enough for my liking. I glared at him, and he grinned back, not perturbed in the least.
‘You can’t persuade her to… you know, maybe not be rash?’ he enquired.
‘No!’
‘But as I told you, it’s just a matter of time. Trust me, when Flip comes across the next lovely lady with big blue eyes, he’ll forget all about your sister.’
And what good will that do, if Ella runs away with Edmund tomorrow night? Blast, blast, blast!
‘If it takes a week for him to find one,’ I said, ‘that will be too late.’
‘Hmm.’ Thoughtfully, he stroked his jaunty little triangle of beard. ‘Well, that leaves only one option, then. We'll just have to pick one out for him - immediately.’
I stared at him as if he’d spoken Chinese.
‘What do you mean, “pick one out”?’ I demanded.
‘Well,’ he said with a renewed grin and a sweeping gesture that took in the whole ballroom with all the dancing, chatting guests, ‘There are a lot of ladies available here - a great many of them with blue eyes, I’d wager. We can pick one and shove her into his way. With luck, he’ll fall in love with her on the spot and leave your sister alone. If it doesn't work, we can always try with another.’
It took me a few seconds to think of something to say.
‘Captain… are you quite sure you’re not intoxicated?’
‘Quite. If I were drunk, I would be seeing two of you, but there is only one.’ He bowed, just as snappy as before. ‘And what a lovely one it is.’
Heat rushed up into my cheeks. ‘You’re trying to make me compliments when a few minutes ago you accused me of wanting to murder someone?’
He winked. ‘Who knows, that might have been a compliment, too. For all you know, I’m the most abominable villain and murder people in their beds every night.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ I said drily. And he actually had the gall to look amused!
‘You have to be drunk!’ I pronounced. ‘Nobody could talk this much nonsense without at least some alcohol in them.’
He gave a sad little sigh. ‘I always talk like this. My aunt tried to teach me manners, but it never worked. It’s why I went into the army. In the army, you don’t have to say anything, just do what you’re told, so nobody has noticed what a colossal scoundrel I am, yet. I have hopes of keeping it up for another two or three years before I’m found out.’
‘Will you stop gibbering and listen?’
‘Yes, Miss. Certainly, Miss.’
‘Look here, you can’t be right. You simply can’t be. It’s not possible that anybody could forget my sister as easily as you say! Nobody could be that empty-headed.’
‘You’ve never looked into one of Flip’s ears, Miss Linton. I swear, you can see the light from the other side.’
‘You promised to keep your mouth shut!’
‘Oh. Yes, indeed, I did. Sorry. I tried my best.’
‘All you told me,’ I said, shaking my head, ‘is well and good, but it doesn't change the facts. Even if he hasn’t wanted to marry any of the other girls before, he does want to marry Ella. He told my aunt so.’
Captain Carter’s eyebrows went up so high they almost vanished into his curly brown locks.
‘Really? What exactly did he say?’
‘Something about needing his own little sunshine in his home…’
I broke off, because he had started laughing. He was almost bent double, and people were starting to stare.
‘Captain Carter!’ I hissed.
‘I- I’m sorry,’ he chortled. ‘It’s just… his own little sunshine… that’s so… you know…’ Slowly, he brought himself under control again - but there was still a broad grin on his face. ‘He told me about that, too, you know. That he wanted sunshine in his home.’
‘You see? I told you he wants t-’
‘He’ll build the place on the south side of his manor house, I think. Where the sunshine is most abundant. Though he might have problems, since the ground drops off rather suddenly there.’
I blinked. ‘W-what?’
‘He’s planning to build a winter garden,’ Captain Carter told me gently. ‘He’s always been heartbroken that all his lovely flowers die during the winter, and, well, he’s just hit on this idea…’
‘A… winter… garden…?’
‘Yes. You know, one of those places with big windows where plants can grow all year round? They are very much the fashion at the moment. People are building them as house-extensions all over London, and even beginning to decorate them with tables and chairs, and have their tea parties there, I’ve been told. Though, personally, I prefer to take my tea beside a crackling fire in the har-’
‘Shut up!’
‘Yes, Miss. Of course, Miss.’
‘I’m going to kill him.’ Slowly, I turned towards Sir Philip, who was still whirling across the dance floor, my sister in his arms, a ridiculous grin on his ridiculous face. ‘I’m going to drag him into a dark alley and strangle him to death!’
‘I thought I had convinced you not to do that.’
‘I’ve changed my mind. I’m not even going to bother with an alley! I’m going to murder him, right here, right now.’
Captain Carter cleared his throat. ‘I’m not sure that is such a good idea.’
I whirled on him, for the moment forgetting about Sir blasted Phillip. ‘Have you any idea what heartache this man put my sister through? What kind of tragedy he almost caused?’
‘Yes, but I’m sure he didn’t mean any of it.’
‘And that’s supposed to make it better?’
‘No. It just means that maybe he doesn't deserve to be strangled.’
‘We'll see about that!’
I turned again and started towards the dance floor, but immediately my way was blocked by a wall of black velvet with glittering gold tigers on it. I hadn’t noticed before how tall and broad-shouldered Captain Carter was. Now I did.