Page 76

Rachel

My chest heaved as I ran, determined to put as much distance between those monsters and myself as possible.

I had dreamt many times of what I would do if I ever saw Ben again, and they always ended with me ending his life the same way I ended Alex’s.

But seeing him unexpectedly brought back my fight-or-flight instincts, and for the first time since I was a teenager, my instinct was to flight.

My training was gone. I couldn’t even withdraw into myself and pretend I didn’t care. Every hideous memory of what Alex and Ben had done to me came flooding back in an overwhelming wave. And with that came all the shame, humiliation and pain I had felt all those years ago.

I ran, because I didn’t know what else to do. Ben wasn’t supposed to be here. This was supposed to be my home. My safe place.

One look at that man had shattered that for me.

I heard the shouts of Dante and the men behind me, as they called for me to come back, and I pushed my legs, pumping them up and down as fast as I could, yet willing them to go faster still.

I tried to hold my breath, not wanting my breathy pants to give my location away, but it served no use.

It made me gasp in desperate, grateful gulps, my lungs burning with the effort.

I rounded a corner, forgetting which direction was the clubhouse, and hid in the shadows, clamping a hand over my mouth to smother the sobs threatening to erupt.

Heavy boots thundered past, and I shrank further back against the wall, seeing Vienna’s face illuminated in the moonlight.

Don’t find me, don’t find me, don’t find me.

It wasn’t that I was scared of them. I was horrified at first, but that horror was soon turning to anger. They had no right to sneak behind my back. I couldn’t give a fuck what happened to Ben. I cared about being kept in the dark.

Had I had a warning, I wouldn’t have gone to the garage. I wouldn’t have come face to face with a man who had haunted my dreams for so long. I prayed for the day Ben got his comeuppance, but I should have been warned so that I could prepare.

Seeing him unexpectedly brought back a rush of memories, and I just knew that sick bastard took pleasure in the fact that he was still able to reduce me to tears.

The look on Dante’s face when I first opened that door also terrified me.

He didn’t look like himself – which I could sort of understand.

He was hardly going to be smiling and high fiving a paedophile, but I also hadn’t expected him to look so…

vicious. There was almost a sadistic, perverse hunger on his face, as though the sight of Ben with his skin ripped off and broken bones turned him on.

I waited a few minutes, my ears straining for footsteps, and when I felt sure I was safe, I snuck back onto the street, looking for somewhere I recognised that would guide me back home.

There was only one place I was going when I got there, and I’d be locking the door behind me.

It didn’t take me as long as I thought to reach the clubhouse, and I made the deliberate decision to use the back door, the one closest to the safe, and dialled in the combination.

Macbeth had given me the code during my first week here. He never explained why, other than to say, “you’ll need it one day, you’ll see.” And the fucker was right.

I thought it would be because of the Rough Riders. But I was wrong. I needed protection from the man who was laying at my side night after night.

Dante was dangerous. I had always known it.

But tonight solidified that in my mind. I had heard rumours of what he had done to people in the past – both men and women.

And I had witnessed myself how cruel he could be when he didn’t get his own way.

But this was the first time I saw the level of violence with my own eyes, and I wasn’t facing him again without protection.

I crept up to my room, looking behind me as I opened the door, and almost fainted as I turned back around, and my body collided with a mountain of sheer muscle.

“Dante,” I breathed, taking a step backwards, swiping my hands behind my back so he couldn’t see what I was holding.

“Were you expecting somebody else?”

“I wasn’t expecting anybody,” I said, gritting my teeth so the tremor did not come out of my mouth.

“Well… surprise,” he said dryly, narrowing his eyes, and he looked down at me. “Why do you look fucking petrified?”

“I’m not,” I said quickly, schooling my features back to the blank, neutral position I had hid behind for so long.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he snarled, grabbing my arm and hauled me into the room, kicking the door shut behind him. “Don’t you fucking dare hide behind expressionless robot mode. Aren’t we past that?”

“Are we?”

“I thought we were.”

“You thought wrong.” Relief flooded my body as the familiar heat shot through me, my anger finally catching up with what had happened, and fought its way to the forefront of my mind.

“You had a couple of dinners with me and shared my bed for a while. So have a lot of men. I trust them as much as I trust you.”

“The difference between me and those other men,” he said in a voice that made my blood run cold. “Was that I was in your bed because you wanted me. We shared something consensual. Don’t fucking compare me to those bastards.”

“Well…,” I began, only to clamp my mouth shut at the vicious look on Dante’s face.

“So help me God, if you finish that sentence.”

“I’m not here by choice though, am I? You said it yourself. You’re all I’ve got. It’s you, or the streets. I made the best of bad options.”

It almost didn’t feel like me talking. My mouth had a mind of its own, and as much as I willed it to shut up, the need to lash out and hurt people was so ingrained in me, I couldn’t stop it even if I tried.

I saw the relationship we had built the past two weeks crumble before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do to repair it. The foundation had been ripped out, and it didn’t take long for the rest of it to come crashing down.

“Don’t put me in the role of being your armed guard. You could have left at any time.”

“With no money? No contacts? No family?”

“My card is saved on your phone. And don’t act like you need anyone, Rachel. You made a life in America without knowing a soul. When will you start telling the truth? Lie to me all you want; I see right through you, anyway. But it’s about time you stopped lying to yourself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re a survivor. You just like to play the victim. You won’t admit you want to be here, that you like it here, so you thrust me into the role of the bastard kidnapper holding you hostage.”

“You did kidnap me! And burnt my mother’s house down when I tried to leave!”

“And have I not given you anything but freedom since? I have given you bikes, money, resources. You could have escaped. You chose not to!”

“That’s not true.” I shook my head, scowling at him.

“Oh, but it is. Even in bed, you prefer to fight me. I can smell your arousal the second I walk into the room. But you would prefer to fight me, to pretend that you’re not gagging for it just as much as I am.

You want to justify your surrender by saying you were forced into it, that I wore you down.

The truth is, Rachel, this is how you get your kicks.

It’s a weird kink of yours. You want to be a victim so bad, that you’ll make up this narrative in your head of a bad guy and the damsel in distress.

” He reached out to grab a lock of my hair, twisting it around his fingers.

“I’ve indulged you because you play the role so well.

That flicker of fear in your eyes makes my cock harder than I can ever remember.

The tremors in your body as I bring my mouth to your skin and mark it as mine is enough to make me cum on the spot. ”

I closed my eyes as he spoke, the heat building in my stomach.

No! Do not give in like this.

I opened my eyes and saw the blood on his knuckles.

Ben’s blood.

I pushed his hand away and brought my other hand out from behind my back and aimed the gun at him.

He let out a bark of laughter. “Are you fucking kidding me? What are you going to do, Rachel? Shoot me?”

I grasped the gun with both hands, my arms straight, aiming it at his chest. “Look at my hands, Dante. Do you see those precious tremors of yours now? Do you see your kinky fear in my eyes? You see nothing. I’m steady as a rock. I’ve killed before, and I’ll happily do it again.”

“So do it,” he said, taking a step forward until the gun was pressed against his chest. “Pull the trigger, Rachel. Kill me. It won’t solve anything.”

“Stop talking!” I hissed at him, gripping the gun tighter.

“You’ll run from here and settle back into the role as perfect Stepford wife material.

But your body and soul will crave this. You will crave more than the quiet, drama free existence.

You’re not happy being boxed into a corner.

You want to break the rules and to push boundaries.

So you’ll seek out another man. And he won’t be able to handle you.

You’ll destroy him, and the next, and the next, because they’re not me.

The sooner you realise we’re fucking perfect for each other, the sooner you stop fighting and understand we’re both just the right amount of fucked up to make this work, the happier we’ll both be. ”

My toes curled as the anger in me ramped up a notch.

But I was beginning to realise, I was more angry about the fact that he was right.

I had never met a man who had been able to keep up with me.

A man who liked that I spat fire at him.

Who encouraged me to reveal the worst I had to offer and loved it anyway.

“Fuck you,” I hissed at him.