Page 60

Rachel

The darkness calmed down.

This time, when it let me go, it was more like a gentle washing up at shore, rather than launching me from its arms.

There was no aggression. It was almost like the darkness caressed my body as it left me, letting me know that it was okay. It would be back for me when it was my time. But now was not my time, and it was okay letting me go.

I awoke silently, my eyes fluttering as I adjusted to the bright lights.

“Welcome to the land of the living,” a cheery woman greeted me as she took down notes. “Don’t mind me. I’m just here doing your hourly observations. You gave us all quite the scare,” she smiled, her voice light and airy.

“I did?” I croaked.

“Here, honey,” she brought a cup of water to my lips and pressed the button on the bed to raise me up slightly.

She looked at the machine and gave a pleased nod as my blood pressure remained normal.

“Can’t sit you up any further than this.

You had a nasty knock on the head. We’ll take it slow and steady and make sure you don’t go fainting on us again! ”

“Again?”

“You don’t remember?” She asked, her voice still as pleasant as ever.

“Not to worry,” she scribbled away on her notepad.

“It’s normal not to remember the first few times you wake after a concussion.

I’m Doctor Ezra. No relation to George,” the joke rolled off her tongue, her most rehearsed line.

“Can you tell me your full name, sweetie?”

“Rachel Brooks,” I said automatically.

“Wonderful. And how old are you, Rachel?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“Do you know what year it is?”

“2024.”

“Fantastic,” she carried on scribbling down her notes, and then sat on the end of my bed. She brought a light out of her breast pocket and shone it in my eyes, noting down whatever reaction she saw.

“Okay, this is all brilliant so far, Rachel. Can you remember who brought you here?”

“I don’t remember. But I assume it was Dante.”

“Mmm,” she said absentmindedly. “And what is your relationship with Dante?”

“Boyfriend,” I said without thinking.

Why the fuck are you calling him your boyfriend?

I knew why.

Because those in a position of authority tended to believe the worst of people like Dante. And my instinct told me to protect him. I didn’t need the likes of the police getting involved – which they would if they had any sort of hint that he was to blame.

“Okay,” the doctor nodded. “And do you remember what happened to you, Rachel?”

“Ish. I had been drinking. It had been a long few days, and I probably hadn’t eaten as much as I should have. I went to bed, and I awoke with the fiercest hangover.”

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, her pen flying over the paper.

I knew what she was doing.

Verbal fucking nods.

It was what everyone did when they were pretending to be interested.

My mother was the master of verbal nodding. I could have told her the whole sordid events of what happened with Alex, and she’d still nod away, a pleasant smile on her face.

“I went to the bathroom to be sick, I got faint, and I passed out.”

“Anything else?”

“Nope.”

“Who were you drinking with?”

“Does it matter?”

“No need to get defensive, Rachel,” she looked up through her lashes. “I’m just trying to get the full story.”

“That is the full story. It doesn’t matter who I was drinking with, because they were not there when the accident happened.”

“Any particular reason you were drinking?”

“I’m an adult. Do I have to have a reason to be drinking?”

“No, but getting so drunk you can barely stand… you can see our cause for concern, can’t you?”

“I was in a pub. Like I said, I hadn’t been eating as much as I should have, and I had one too many.”

“Okay… and this pub you were in. Would this be the same one your boyfriend owns?”

“That’s right. It’s not a crime to drink in a pub, is it?”

“Certainly not,” she said, the happy smile back in place. “Was Dante drinking?”

“He had one or two.”

“And where did Dante go when you went to bed?”

“He was with me,” I said, my cheeks colouring as I remembered. “He left early hours in the morning, and I have no idea after that. I was still in bed. I can’t see through walls.”

She looked at me and simply smiled again.

“Alright, everything looks okay here. How are you feeling?” She changed topic to my physical health, knowing she wasn’t getting any more details from me.

“My head hurts.”

“I bet it does. You’re due some painkillers soon; the nurse will bring them around for you. Are you hungry? I can buzz for the auxiliary to bring you some toast?”

“Starving,” I admitted.

“Tea, coffee?”

“A tea would be great.”

“Wonderful. I’ll have them bring it to you.

Okay,” she said, her pen finally stopping.

“I think I’m done here. I’ll be back to see you in the morning, Rachel.

If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to buzz.

Visiting hours start in an hour. I’m sure your boyfriend will be in to see you.

He hasn’t left the hospital since you were brought in. ”

“How long have I been out?”

“A little over two days. He slept at your side the first night, and then stayed by your side as long as we would allow yesterday. We asked him to leave last night, but he was right back here this morning, bright and early!”

“Was he here when I woke?”

“I believe so,” she murmured, already moving on from me and mentally preparing for the next patient.

“Did I talk to him?”

“You’d have to ask him. Okay, so if there’s nothing else you need, I’m going to leave you at peace.”

“There’s nothing.”

“Great. Take it easy, Rachel, and I’ll see you in the morning. All going well, we should be able to let you go in a day or two.” And then she left the room, leaving me with nothing but my thoughts.

I had no recollection of waking up previous to now. I vaguely remembered being on the brink of consciousness and hearing the ambulance and the flashing lights as we raced to the hospital, but other than that, I was drawing a complete blank.

A knock at the door had me jumping as a nurse brought me in some tea and toast and left me with the menu for the evening meal.

She didn’t hang around, and for that I was grateful.

Sleep was calling my name again. For once, I welcomed the thought of sleep.

I wanted this memory fog to pass as soon as possible, and the more sleep I got, the quicker that would happen as far as I was concerned.

I quickly bit down on some toast, my throat protesting at the rough texture, and flopped back on the pillows, sifting through my memories as I tried to piece together what I had missed when I had been out.

I thought I could remember Dante tenderly kissing my hands and asking me not to leave him, but the memory seemed so out of place and so wildly out of character that I dismissed it as false.

Dante wouldn’t show such an open display of emotion, and he certainly wouldn’t do it in front of other people.

I’d have to take the doctor’s advice and ask him when he turned up.

I quickly scribbled down my choice for the evening meal whilst I remembered and then allowed my eyes to close, drifting off into a restless sleep.

A soft knock at the door had my eyes flying open, bringing a welcome end to the nightmares that had plagued me.

Alex was on my mind, and in my dreams. He kept shifting into Dante as he delivered his punishments. One minute Alex was shouting at me, the next Dante was hitting me. It was Dante who ordered his friends to rape me. It was Dante who punched me so hard blood flew out of my mouth.

Dante had hurt me, and he wasn’t above hitting a woman, but he was miles away from the monster that Alex had been.

But that didn’t excuse the pain he had put me through and the trauma he had already inflicted.

It’s no wonder my sub-conscious was mixing the two together.

There were different ways to hurt a person, and Dante was to blame for a lot of my current pain.

“Dinner,” the nurse smiled, wheeling in a trolley. My stomach grumbled, and I thanked her, realising how starving I really was.

“Your tea has gone cold, my love. Would you like another?”

“Yes, please,” I accepted with a grateful nod. “Do you know when visiting hours are?” I asked her as she set up my plate, taking the knife and fork out of the napkin they were wrapped in.

“Been and gone for today.”

“Already? I slept through it all?” I lifted my arm slightly as she slid the table over my lap, the smell of the food invading my nose.

“Sure did. You must have needed it.”

“Did… did anyone come?”

“I believe your boyfriend’s mother was here. She didn’t come in when we said you were sleeping, though. She left you those flowers.”

I followed her pointed finger to the roses in the corner and thanked her.

I fucking hated roses.

“Enjoy,” the nurse said as she retreated out of my room.

I picked up my fork and poked at my food, my appetite leaving.

He hadn’t fucking come!

I don’t know why I was surprised. He had made it clear that he couldn’t give a flying fuck about me.

So why did it hurt so much?

Maybe I was clinging to the memory of him tenderly kissing me. If there was any doubt that I had completely made up that little interaction, it was quickly squashed.

Dante couldn’t even be bothered to take the time out of his day to come visit me. He certainly wasn’t going to be sitting at my bedside, begging me not to leave him.

He was probably more concerned about what I would say when I woke up.

Especially after the crack I had made about informing social services if he ever threatened me again.

He probably put on a good show of being the concerned boyfriend, pretending he gave a shit, just for the doctor’s benefit.

Since I had woken, and the police hadn’t carted him away and put Bee in a home, he knew I wasn’t pinning this on him, so the pretence was done.

As if I’d ever be low enough to blame him for something he hadn’t done. He had enough crimes behind him, crimes he had actually committed. He didn’t need my help adding to his rap sheet.

I stabbed into the chicken curry and shoved a forkful into my mouth, turning my lips at the bland taste.

Food is food, Rachel. Be grateful. There was a time you didn’t get any without earning it.

That much was true. Food was Alex’s greatest weapon, and Dante certainly hadn’t been the most hospitable either.

Even thinking his name had my heart leaping, but I steeled myself, refusing to give in to the feeling.

I had made up any affection he had towards me, and now I had to kill my own growing affection towards him. I wasn’t going to let a fake memory manipulate me.

I had been through something traumatic. I was feeling more vulnerable and exposed than usual.

That’s why I was clinging to Dante. As soon as I was over this and out of the hospital, it would be back to business as usual.

I just had to keep telling myself that whatever softness I was feeling towards him right now was a lie.

It was manipulated by hormones that were out of whack. It wasn’t fucking real.

I was alone in this world. I’d always been alone, and I was happiest that way.

Fuck everyone else.

I’d recover, and once I was out of here, I’d make my own way in life. Fuck what Dante had to say.

He had no control over me. His threats of telling Alex’s friends and family had no merit. I left the country once; I could do it again.

I just had to deal with his company long enough to get my passport back.