Page 60 of Sticks and Stones (FBI Romance/Thriller #65)

Maybe it would have been better had he not made it out of that dumpster. This was painful, and not physically.

“It’s going to be okay,” Greyson reassured, moving to sit next to him on the couch.

Carefully, he patted his leg under the blanket, and when Corbin didn’t flinch, he reassured him.

“I know that right now it looks like you’ll never recover from this, but the human spirit is resilient.”

Corbin wiped his eyes on his arm, the unbroken one. His whole world had crumbled around him. Two days ago, he had a job he loved, friends he couldn’t imagine not having, and a man he wanted to marry.

Now, he was afraid of his job, his friends were out doing god knew what for him, and the man he loved…he couldn’t be with anymore.

They’d done more than sexually assault him. They’d destroyed his whole world, leaving him decimated.

How was he going to come back from this?

“I’m sorry about what happened to you, Corbin. If you ever need help, and the guys can’t help you, I want you to call me,” he said, pulling his badge out to get a card from behind it.

On the back of the card, he put his personal number.

“I’ll come,” he said, knowing that he’d always have a soft spot in his heart for people who were lost in the system and battered by life. If he could help them, that was his duty. “I promise.”

As a soldier, he’d seen some shit, and he got it.

Oh, he really did.

Corbin took it, and tucked it into his cast until he could put it in his phone.

A phone he no longer had.

God.

He could only imagine what someone was doing with his badge, gun, and phone.

When Greyson went back to work, this time sitting right next to Corbin in case he needed him, it wasn’t long before he saw from the corner of his eye that Corbin was moving closer to him.

Honestly, he didn’t blame him. If he needed to be near someone to feel safe, that was more than okay with him.

Patting the couch, he offered up more space.

“You can park it right up against me if you need to be near me,” Greyson offered. “I don’t mind. I know you’ve been through a lot, and being alone has to be terrifying.”

Oh, it was.

Corbin moved closer, and Greyson patted his leg softly to reassure him.

“You’re safe now, Corbin. I promise,” he offered.

That helped, and Corbin knew it. In that moment, he was grateful for Christmas, and the bonds he made with his new family.

“Can I ask you something?”

Greyson looked over.

“Sure. What’s on your mind?”

Corbin really needed an objective point of view. He knew what Gene and Ethan would say, but Greyson tended to be logical.

That’s what he needed right now since he couldn't be. His brain and emotions were scattered.

“I feel horrible,” he admitted.

Greyson needed more in order to help him. Was he talking physical pain?

Or…?

“Care to elaborate?” he asked. “The pain pills will kick in shortly.”

Corbin shared.

“It’s about Will.”

Oh, boy.

He was probably the LAST person to ask about a relationship. His last girlfriend cheated on him, and the woman he’d slept with after her was likely a psychopathic spy put into play by Gabe.

His choices were insane.

Clearly.

But Corbin needed to talk, and that was the least he could do.

“Sure. I’ll help anyway I can,” he offered despite it being out of his paygrade.

Corbin was to the point.

“I don’t know if I can ever have sex again. I hurt so badly right now, and every time I close my eyes, I see and feel what they did to me. They took away my control, humiliated me, and broke me.”

Instead of talking, Greyson listened.

Sometimes, that was the most important thing you could do for a victim.

He knew talking this out would be important for Corbin. As he started to put his life back together again, he’d need people who would just listen to him when he needed it.

“What do I do about Will?” he asked. “If you were my boyfriend, what would you want me to do?”

He didn’t have to think long, and honestly, he could help him with this. Corbin was asking a more ‘what would you do’ question, and not asking advice.

“First and foremost, if I was Will, I’d want to know that you’re okay. By now, I’d be worried. I’d need to know that you were alive. I imagine he’s afraid and thinking you’re dead in a ditch somewhere. When he showed up at your place, he sounded scared.”

Corbin knew he’d almost been dead in a dumpster, so the reality of that was pretty damn close. The ditch would have been easier to escape, to be honest.

Greyson continued.

“Then, I’d need you to be honest with me. Looking at you, I would be able to tell you’ve been through it. I’d want to help you, and I’d need to know if you wanted my help.”

He considered it.

Then, Corbin was honest.

“Should I set him free? I don’t know if I can be who I was, Greyson. Will is submissive, and I was dominant in bed. I don’t know if I’ll ever be that man again. I can’t even think about sex. I have zero desire to ever have another person touch me that way again.”

Well, yeah.

He’d been through something traumatic. Greyson knew that if he’d been through what Corbin had been through, he’d likely feel the same way.

“Honestly, Corbin, the only thing I can think to say is that time might change that. Maybe not the next month, or year, but at some time, you’re going to want to return to your life when those scars aren’t tender and festering.”

He didn’t know if he would.

“What are you afraid of?” he asked.

Corbin hesitated.

Taking a chance, Greyson held out his hand, and Corbin reached for him. He held his hand in his, reassuring him.

“I’ve got you, Corbin. I’m a judgment free zone, and nothing you say goes past me. I swear. Trust me.”

Corbin needed to trust someone.

“I’m scared shitless that he’ll see me and is disgusted. I couldn't defend myself from them. What do I do if he breaks my heart when he runs.”

He was about to answer when Corbin continued.

“Like I said, I’m more dominant, or I was. What if Will needs me to hold him up? I can’t even hold me up. I’m hiding here, and I know I can’t leave for a while. The idea of leaving this condo scares me.”

Greyson was direct.

“Then, if that’s the case, it sounds like you want to work on you, and not a relationship. I’m notoriously bad at love,” he admitted. “But I know that when I couldn’t foster a relationship, for whatever reason, it eventually died. Do you think Will would be able to hold you up?”

He wasn’t sure.

“I don’t want to show him me. This isn’t the man he liked at all. I’m a shell now. I think I should do what’s best for both of us,” he admitted.

“And that is?”

“I think I need to break it off. Fixing me is going to take years,” he admitted. “It’s not fair to make him wait for me to be okay with affection, or simple cuddling. How can I ask him to put his whole life on hold for me?”

Greyson said nothing.

At first.

“Then, it sounds as if you’ve made up your mind.

Corbin is still in there,” he said, gently touching his head.

“You don’t need to worry about that. He survived this.

There’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll be okay, with or without Will.

My only advice is take time to heal, and definitely get into therapy. ”

And Corbin hoped he was right.

“I love him. Do you think that saying is right? You know…if you love something, let it go, and if it comes back to you, it’s meant to be?”

Greyson wasn’t sure.

“Do you believe it?” he asked him. “That’s what matters most—not what I believe. Your relationship is only something you can make that decision about, Corbin.”

He wasn’t sure.

Only, Corbin knew one thing.

He couldn’t be the strongest one in a relationship anymore. What he needed was someone to hold him together for a change.

Corbin’s world had flipped upside down.

And he was so confused.

* * * Blackhawk & Cantrell * * *

Operation Cleanup

Renegade’s Home

Ten P.M.

To get that show on the road, they texted Truck, and while they were waiting for him, they swept the house to see if anything was there.

They split up, one man taking the upstairs, and the other the downstairs. It was the quickest way to get it done in time.

Upstairs in Renegade’s bedroom, Ethan found so much porn that he could have opened his own store to rent it out. It ranged from snuff films, to things that the man had recorded himself that Ethan was absolutely never going to view.

He had a feeling it would make him sick.

Call it a hunch.

On the man’s dresser, he found a secondary phone, and it looked familiar.

Picking it up, he saw the screen saver come on, and he had confirmation.

This was Corbin’s phone.

When he opened it, to check the photos to make sure, inside, there was a picture of him, Gene, and Corbin that had been taken on Christmas day.

They had just finished playing Clue, and Gene had beaten them all for the tenth time. It had been a fun day, filled with laughter and love.

Scrolling through the rest of the phone, he found the text messages, and they were all read by someone else, and he knew that because they were definitely after Corbin had been left in the dumpster.

They were from Will.

Reading over them, Ethan felt the pain the man had been feeling.

‘Corby, I’m scared. You’re not answering your phone, but someone else is. Where are you? Are you hurt? I’ll come for you. I’ll find you. Please answer me, Corbin, I can’t bear the idea that you’re somewhere without me. I love you.’

The words brought tears to his eyes.

Why?

Because he knew Corbin well enough that he was going to do something that didn’t end well for him and Will. They’d had a bitch of a time getting the man to go on that first date.

Stopping him from running from someone who loved him?

That would be almost impossible.

Going to the next message, he kept reading. Normally, he wouldn’t, but Ethan knew he was going to have to help Corbin clean up another mess when he stupidly dumped a man who loved him.