Page 9

Amias

“Why did you run from me last night?”

That was the one question I didn't want Erasmus to ask. The one that would trigger my disappointment and frustration once again.

And yet, here we are. He just had to bring it up, when I'm holding a gun and trying to focus on my aim.

The painting of a dreamscreecher is the target a few feet ahead, a cutout in front of a white wall.

Its drawn so realistically, I can feel its black fur on my fingers without touching it.

Dark eyes glare back at me, it's goat-like nose and black horns painted to glisten.

The rest of its shape resembles the savage puma they're formed after.

The skull is the quickest kill. Aim for the head.

Don't focus on Erasmus.

I shoot the cardboard target, leaving a hole through its head. A perfect shot. Maybe if I just focus on shooting, Erasmus will shut up.

“I know you're upset about the whole soulmate thing.” Erasmus shakes his head in the corner of my eye, wearing black earmuffs that are ridiculously big on him.

They don't look any worse than mine, but it makes me feel better to think that it's only him.

“I know that's something you've been looking for.”

“Not anymore.” I shoot once again, a hole appearing next to my last shot. “I've moved past that soulmate stuff.”

“Have you? Or are you just saying that?”

I finally face him. Funny how he even looks more like the evil brother today, dressed in his oversized graphic t-shirt with skulls and roses, which contrasts my plain white tee. It's like he wanted to represent how I feel about him now.

But he's right. I'm definitely just saying I'm over it for the moment. Just thinking about soulmates makes my teeth grind.

I take in a deep breath, taking in the smoky scent of gunpowder. “No really. I'm focusing on myself this time.”

He holds his pistol beside himself, perking his brows. “So…No more getting dates and figuring that out?”

I shoot once more, aiming at the chest this time. A good second option if I miss the skull. “Nope. Just gonna help out the kingdom and live my life.”

Erasmus snickers, loud enough for me to hear through the muffs. “So that means you'll finally talk to Maya?”

I shrug. “Sure.” Probably not. It's still a fresh wound I don't want to open by talking to her.

“And I can talk about Maya without you being jealous?”

“I was never jealous to begin with.” I try to keep my aim at the target. Focus on the target. Not Erasmus.

Aim for the chest.

“So, I suppose I can mention that I plan on proposing soon. Like within the next three months. We can have the wedding next year if things go right.”

A wedding. My brother's wedding. Another painful wound cut by his very existence. Their soulmate bond will strengthen to its fullest and they will have soulmate markings on their ring fingers, symbolizing their official commitment to each other.

If they're so happy now, imagine when they're married.

An ache within my chest spreads with every passing second, like poison tainting my blood.

Why me?

I jerk my head back to get back to focus. He's just trying to call my bluff. Focus on the target. “Cool.”

Erasmus continues. “She’s just perfect, you know? She's so sweet, kind and beautiful. My hand fits so perfectly around hers. She's just…one of a kind.”

“I'm glad you feel that way.” Don't lose focus.

I shoot another time as he keeps rambling. “I'm excited to share the rest of my life with her. She's the kind of woman I want wake up next to every day.”

I lower my gun slightly, his words infiltrating my mind. My body stiffens with every thought of his soulmate and this upcoming marriage. I still wish I had that.

What did I do to miss out on such a beautiful thing?

“And I mean I know you'd never understand, but-”

I immediately shoot the pistol again, a hike appearing in the metal wall instead. My eyes tense. There's a vibration against the palm of my hands when Erasmus's gasp.

Damn you Erasmus!

It takes me a moment to budge before I snap my head to him with a scowl. Those green Invidia flowers wrap around my arms and duig into my skin, but I ignore them. He chuckles and smirks at me. “So, you're still jealous.”

“Fuck you,” I mutter. I storm away from the target as the flowers wilt around me. Past the white halls and other target practices, I find the front desk and hand over my earmuffs. Erasmus's words and footsteps follow as I sign out and exit the building.

It's refreshing to see the different colors on the streets, compared to the all-white environment of the gun range. Even just outside here, there's the warm red-orange color of brick buildings, the bright green trees and amare flowers planted along the sidewalks, and on the cars rolling by.

I inhale, welcomed by the scent of the sweet amare flowers. I'm fine. There's no need to be upset.

I'm okay.

“Amias?”

Oh great.

“You know there's no need to be jealous.” Erasmus greets me with a triumphant smirk. “I mean there's so many things you can do without a soulmate that I'm missing out on.”

“Then can we talk more about that please?”

“You can't just avoid talking about soulmates in this kind of kingdom, Amias. If I were you, I would-”

“But you're not me.” My body quivers. He can't tell me how to feel!

“I know, but the world isn't just gonna cater to your wants. You're soulmateless and that's okay. You just need to accept it.”

“I'm trying to.” I realize my foot is tapping from Erasmus's glance towards it and I force it down. “It's hard to come to terms with it.”

“It shouldn't be so hard to accept. Can't you just…accept it?” Erasmus chuckles like I’ve said something ridiculous. “I mean, people live happily single all the time. You're making this more difficult than it is.”

My fingers curl, desperately wanting to ball up and knock him in his chin.

“You don't get to say shit when you've gotten everything handed to you.” I stand up tall, but not tall enough to be above his gaze.

“It's so easy to say when you're praised and get all the achievements in everything!

You have no idea what I go through just because I'm soulmateless and the frustration that comes with it!

So no, I can't just forget about this and accept it!”

Erasmus gets silent, his jaw slacked as he puts his hands up defensively. I stand rigid, my anger only dwindling slightly after each huff.

Erasmus sighs. “You're right. I don't know because you don’t talk to me anymore.”

My eyes widen. “Huh?”

“You haven't talked to me about anything since those rumors started. It's become worse now that I found Maya. I thought we were close growing up, but then you just kind of pulled away and started running.”

Warm drains from my face. What am I doing? I'm acting like a child!

“Maybe we can take a walk and discuss it.” Erasmus smiles softly. “Like we used to do. Just have a brotherly talk, you know?”

I struggle to keep eye contact, my gaze darting in different directions. Should I just talk to him? Or will I only look more foolish? I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

I can deal with being soulmateless, and I can deal with it alone. I don't need anyone's concern. I don't want it anyways. I'm not a kid anymore.

I should be content with what I have. I should be happy.

“Sorry…” I whisper, bowing my head and glancing away. My heart pulses painfully at my foolishness. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I don't need you to apologize.”

“No. I was being selfish and of course you have every right to talk about Maya and be happy about her. I think it's good that you're happy.”

“I was being an asshole too. I shouldn't have poked so hard if it's that important to you. I'm sorry-”

“You know what? Being alone is great! You're fine. I just need to figure things out on my own.” I offer him a grin; a gesture my heart disagrees with. “I'll help out the kingdom as usual and adopt one day. Yeah. That should be fine.”

Erasmus’s brows scrunched together. “Of course. On your own.”

Crash!

I snap my head towards the mall down the street on the opposite side. On the outside, it looks like a white castle with four tower-like buildings, surrounded by a walkway of bricks. In the middle, there's a pristine glass dome with a silver heart on top.

Or rather there was a heart on top a second ago. Instead, there's creatures with panther-like bodies in the color of night, with horns between their ears.

Dreamscreechers.

There's a person running and screaming out the doors. Then there's another. Then another.

My muscles stiffen. What the…

More people flood from the door. There's innocent people - Families, children, babies, elders - all shrieking, crying and trembling, shoving each other to compete for safety

“Dreamscreechers!” Someone yells. “Run!”

My heart leaps to my throat to escape. I can't just stand here and let this happen to my people.

I look back to Erasmus. He gives a knowing nod. We're going in there.

I grab my pistol from my pocket and keep it lowered in front of me as we run towards the mall. I won't walk away.

If I can save just one innocent person before getting mauled by a dreamscreecher, I'll do it.