Page 19

Ignatia

Despite the heaviness of my eyes, I open them and push my body up. I glance around, expecting the new room Amias got me, but it's too dark to make out anything.

Wait… No… this can't be right…

The only thing I can see is the faintest red light shining through a small flip at the bottom of a door. The light is strong enough to show the rusty floor beneath, which explains the earthy odor.

No! How did I get back here?

I scramble off the ground and on my shaking legs.

My ears ring and the room wobbles. I stumble back, digging my nails into the grainy wall behind me to keep myself standing.

After attempting to steady my trembling breath, I kneel down to the flap and lift it up as if I could squeeze through, but it is far too small to even try.

I almost trip on myself getting on my feet again, reaching my hands out to keep steady. I don’t understand. Just a moment ago, I was sleeping in my bed, stitched up and my belly full from fried lamb and rice.

Was I…somehow sent back? In my sleep?

Did Amias know?

Metal creaks signaling the room tipping over. I stumble with the increased tottering of the room. Something heavy and cold squeezes my wrists with a clank.

I snap my attention to the large heavy iron cuffs clasped my hands. They shrink, getting so tight that they could snap my hands off.

What is going-

I'myanked back to the wall, the grip on my wrists intensifying. Unleashing a cry, I thrash my arms, but nothing budges.

My heart could hammer through my chest. Had the iron been possessed? Who put me in here in the first place?

The cold touch of hardened sand grazes the sides of my shoulders before pressing against me seconds later.

My breath evaporates. My blood runs cold.

The walls, they're crushing me.

I try to race my feeble feet back to the door, but the walls press harder against me, the chains keep their grip and my feet can't travel further.

I can't die! I just made it out alive!

The door opens suddenly, a silhouette standing before me wearing a bun and ball gown. She stands with the bright red light behind her, proud and unmoving.

Creaking only gets louder. The walls compress me further. Sudden voices drown out all my senses, coming from different directions with no clue where they’re coming from.

“You're not the fiery I named you to be!” Vasilisa's voice comes louder than the others. "I should rip your brain out your fucking skull!"

My lips throb and I dig my teeth into my tongue. “Stop!”

“She's a murderer, just like her mother!” A man yells.

“You don't have to do this!” I flinch from father's voice.

“You're a coward Ignatia!”

“She'll destroy the kingdom! Kill her!”

My heart pounds like I could vomit it up my throat "Please!" I reach an arm towards the woman.

"I'll fucking do it Ignatia! I'll fucking kill you!

"Kill her before she becomes just like her mother!”

"I swear it, I didn't do it!”

“If Godusa has any sense, she’d want her to die.”

"Die!"

Everything is getting too much to bear. There's no way out. In the next few seconds, my body will be crushed. The silhouette watches me die, enjoying the show. I close my eyes as if it would all go away but it doesn't.

"Die!"

I scream as I open my eyes again, barely able to catch my breath. I find myself staring up to a pale colored ceiling. There's no pressure of crushing walls around me - only the touch of soft blankets and pillows in my bed.

As I try to steady my breath again, I detect a different smell. Faint amare flowers. Not the smoky sickly scent of Vasilisa. Not the earthy smell of that cage. She's not here. I'm safe.

I'm free. I'm not back in Somnia.

Just a nightmare.

My breath slowly comes to a steady pace. I squeeze the blanket for comfort, rolling my quivering body to the side.

Why Godusa? Are you trying to haunt me with the past? Aren't dreams supposed to be a gift?

These dreams have been coming for as long as I can remember. It's always cruel reminders of Vasilisa punishing me in tight rooms and cages. About being alone. About all the people she killed. The people I've killed.

Tears blur my vision. I quickly turn on the lamp beside me, hugging my legs into my chest. My body gives into sorrows, and I weep at the replaying memories.

Why must you be so weak? It's just a dream! What are you? A pathetic waste of life?

I’m bashing myself with Vasilisa's words, but it's true. She was right about my strength. I'm weak, like she said.

Sometimes I still wonder why she didn't kill me. I deserved it more than Kaius, father or Clarissa. Even Godusa agreed.

The shame makes each sob hurt more. I have no strength to stop them nor even a desire to.

I'm just weak now. That's just what I am.