Page 66

Ignatia

From the large golden welcome sign I saw when I first set foot, this is Harena City.

I scroll through the unfamiliar street. Many cars, mostly in light desert colors, drive past, with their roofs decorated in fake fire and light up star lamps.

A few odd ones even have cacti. There's also a few people riding camels closer to the sidewalk. The walls of the buildings surrounding me are roughly textured like they’re made from sand.

Estrella's star beats down on me. I lick my lips, as if it would save them from being chapped. Good thing it's starting to set. It's unbearable even in a tank top and shorts.

I drank a stomachful of water when I found my first fountain entering the city. Now I'm due for a treat for what I've been through.

I want alcohol.

I walk by shops with antiques and hand crafted goods hand crafted with leather and bones. Many of the windows and doors are decorated with animal skulls and wooden bows.

Despite the tan phones people are using and the cars driving by, there's a hint of familiarity in the fact they still have some natural and old fashioned items. Somnia looks less terribly behind on technology here.

A few blocks down there's a sign that captures my attention.

The Wishing Star.

I peer through the window. There's a lot of antlers and animal skins hanging up on the stone walls.

Burly older men chat among themselves, some shirtless showing off their beer bellies and others with tank tops.

All of them were either tanned or really red in the face, drinking what looks to be beer or rum.

Alcohol sounds great after traveling so far and losing Amias. I need a way to get over Amias since I have about forty years to waste.

I go into the bar, the pungent smell of beer and rum taking over my nose. As I walk past the men, my body tenses at the murmuring and ugly smirks coming my way from men. I bare my teeth.

Maybe a smarter me would've left. These men seem to have an agenda I'm not into. But fuck it! I'm stupid and only crumbs of what I was a week ago. Besides, I could take any of them on if they approach. They can try me. They won't like the results.

I walk to the counter where the bartender stands before a large display of liquors. I slap the fake ID from the backpack on the counter. “How much for a vodka?”

◆◆◆

My eighth vodka shot burns the back of my throat.

The cup rings when I quickly slam it against the table. The buzz taking over my head makes me clench my teeth. I lean back in my chair and stare at the cement ceiling. My brain is slop. I can't concentrate.

Fuck. I'm just like Kaius. This was him after Clarissa died.

“Hey, pretty girl!” A bigger man comes over, his face red as if he overdosed on tomatoes. He has a long dark gray beard with some wrinkles under his eyes. He’s clearly old enough to be my father. “I've never seen you around here.”

“F… fuck off!” I pull up a middle finger. I'm not fucking with some creep.

“Let me buy you another shot,” the man says, putting down some starcoins and sliding them to the bartender. “Then maybe I can get lucky tonight, huh?”

“I… don't want… a fucking… shot from you!”

The bartender behind the counter crosses her arms. “Listen to the lady.”

I smirk at her. She can't be too much older than I am. She has olive skin and dark hair cut close to her scalp, wearing a white collar shirt and a black vest. I adore her attitude.

She slides the coins back towards the man as he scoffs. He takes his money and stomps off.

I chuckle in amusement. “Thank you… bar lady…”

She nods. “I don't like that guy. He creeps me out. I keep on telling my manager to ban him.”

Someone else calls her from the other side of the counter, and she rushes over to take their order. Meanwhile I look at my shot glass, wondering what I should even do.

Sleep on the streets while I'm hammered?

"Y… You don't loo…k like you're from… around here." I glance up towards a large blonde man standing over me, closer in age, with dark brown eyes and a tight white shirt.

I raise a brow. "I'm … n… not…"

He settles down in the stool next to me. "You… you… look drunk."

"I… am… I'm trying… to be…"

"And… you're… hot…"

A smirk twitches my lips. This is more like it.

Maybe this will help me. After all, I have to wait forever until I see Amias again, and even that would be lucky.

He told me I should move on. I might as well distract myself from what happened with a bit of fun.

"Okay… sexy…" I purr, resting my head against my hand. "You're… offering?"

"My… apartment… is just down… the street," he says with a red face. "I'm.. down to fuck… if you are…"

Ignoring how cringy his invitation is, I reach out and wrap my arms around his neck. "Yes…"

I lean in to kiss him, trying to let lust overtake my senses. He reciprocates and kisses me back, grabbing my waist.

I try to caress my tongue around his to get that same exhilarating feeling I get with the man I'm trying not to remember.

But all together, this feels sloppy. He's unintentionally licking the tip of my nose repeatedly. I push away my displeasure though and pull myself closer.

I need to forget his name. This man’s just a vessel to put my pain on.

After moments of kissing, he leads me back to his place, quite literally as he said, across the street. I chuckle, ready to finally get something I can enjoy.

A feminine voice calls for me behind us before we fully cross the road, but I don't listen. I just need this for tonight.

I deserve it all after almost dying, damn it.

After losing Ami-

No! Stop thinking about him! I need to move on!

We rush into his apartment. His apartment walls are sandy white, with some touches of brown and wooden carvings? I don't pay much attention as I'm pinned against the door.

He then grabs my face and slams his lips into mine, twisting my hair. I close my eyes, faking a moan to get myself in the mood. Maybe faking could trick me into liking it.

His hands are already down at my jeans, unzipping them and pulling them down to my feet so I can step out of them.

Everything seems so careless. It's like he's here to have fun. I'm here to sloppily fuck and fulfil his nose licking fetish.

I shouldn't mind it. I don't care either. It's just a little fun. I'm here for the lust as much as he is.

But I can't help but think… it would not feel so heartless if it were A-

No! It's just sex! It doesn't matter.

I just keep giving into the kisses, trying to let myself relax and let it all go.

As I slightly open my eyes, I see his hair, just as blonde as his. My hands run through it, feeling how soft it is… or rather how soft it could be if it was well brushed and well groomed.

Just as he reaches for my underwear, my brain can only think of one person. If it were him, he would savor every touch, giving the sweetest loving nibbles on and the most passionate kisses. It's not just sex with him. It's a demonstration of love.

"Amias…"

The man looks up at me and raises a brow. " Amias? What… the fuck… does that mean?"

Amias… the man that has my heart in his hands. The man with a serene lake oasis captured in his irises. The man with a voice like silk, like gentle waves lapping over rocks. The man who can turn night into day just from the sound of his laugh.

It's sacred just to be able to hear his gentleness carry throughout himself. To just experience his kindness .

No man is worth touching after being with him.

I push at the man's chest as I stumble forward. "I… have to… go…"

My hand fumbles with the doorknob behind me before twisting it open. I stagger out, just barely able to coordinate my steps.

Amias. Amias. Amias.

That's the only name I can think of.

Amias. Amias. Amias.

I manage to stumble out of the apartment building and out on the streets. I don't know where to go. I let my feet lead me wherever. His name keeps pounding in my head. The name drains me of joy as I settle on the fact that he's gone.

Amias.

It seems like forever as I stumble past antique shops and bars. People dressed in white tunics and dresses gasp at me. The sidewalk is lit up with torches placed outside of each building door. This is where I'm supposed to live for the rest of my life. Without him.

Down the street, I come across a crowd of people.

The ground is covered with sand between two buildings.

A circular stage of carved stone stands in the middle.

Both children and adults gather around. The stage is lit by torches at the bottom of the stage, as women and men with fancy dresses and coats perform on top.

Just before the crowd, is a wooden sign that says ‘The Story of Rayden and Lydia by Oliver Causus”.

Lydia and Rayden?

I narrow my eyes at the stage, suddenly feeling sober. What's this then?

"We must make her forget, for what Rayden has brought lies and dishonor upon our dearest Lydia." A woman stands up with a glass of wine over a table. She wears a pink gown with golden lace, along with a crown of pink flowers around her head.

I look beside her, to see a smaller woman in a purple dress, frowning at the table. "But Mother, Rayden is innocent."

"She has fallen so much, she believes that a dreamscreecher is a good man!" A man with black curls and iron armor declares. "We must heal her from this curse it has brought upon my sister."

I have a new found understanding with this story. This is starting to sound familiar. All too familiar.

I feel horrible for Rayden, but now I feel terrible for Lydia. Both victims of the same kingdom.

“I beg of you to listen,” the woman in purple pleads to her mother, standing from the table suddenly

Her mother speaks, "Now Lydia. Stand up as you take this drink. You will forget about Rayden and live forward in truth."

“Mother please…” she cries, looking at her mother with the eyes of a begging child.

Her mother shakes her head with a scowl. “You have no choice!” She says it so coldly, I can't tell if it's acting.

The smaller woman stands up and raises her glass. She clanks her cup with her mother's and her brother's before bringing it up to her mouth. "May he come forth and bring the truth back to me, when I drink this cup of lies."

She drinks it down. Each gulp is very loud and prominent.

Suddenly Lydia distorts into a different person. One who I would dread to see on the cleansed side of this scene. One with sandy blond hair and beautiful blue eyes.

Amias.

He collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back. He looks nearly dead as people around me hold up signs and clap over this sickly ceremony.

My heart drops to my stomach.

No. Shit. He's going to get cleansed.

He's going to forget everything. He won't love me anymore. He won't care. He'll… he'll…

No. No! This shit isn't right! He doesn't-

I sniffle and fall on my knees. No. This isn't how things are supposed to go. Is this another prophecy? Why does Godusa have to tell me?

The last person who's ever loved me is going to be stripped away from me, and I don't know if there's anything I can do about it.