Page 20

Ignatia

A thumping noise pulls me away from slumber. I blink my eyes at the light shining in this room.

Morning already?

“It's me, Amias."

I force myself to sit up, shaking my head as if my drowsiness would go away. "Coming!"

I drag myself up from my bed, my chest and throat sore from all the sobbing last night. Is it possible to just go back to bed and ignore Amias?

Opening the door reveals Amias in a white collared shirt and brown slacks, holding a satchel diagonally from his shoulder. He's smiling with those twinkling blue eyes. Or more like cold gray this morning. He's holding a stack of folded clothes.

"What are you doing here?" I yawn and lean against the door.

He squints, the twinkle starting to dim. "We were going to go shopping for food, remember? Are you okay?"

I shrug, my head sagging towards the ground. My lips curl into a frown thinking about last night.

The pain. The panic. The uncontrollable weeping.

How pathetic I was…

I meekly nod. "Yes…" I stab my teeth into my tongue.

His brows bunch together. “Can I be of any help?"

"I don't think you can." I mean, what was he going to do? Take away my nightmares?

"You're sure?"

I shake my head. "It's nothing anyways. I'll get over it."

His foot taps as his eyes gleam with worry. When I dodge his gaze at the clothes in his hands, he sighs.“I… bought some clothes for you to wear."

He passes the clothes to me, and I close the door on him.

"I'll be out in a second." I mutter.

"Okay…"

I put on the black shirt with a pink flower drawing and jean shorts, shaking my head as if it would do my hair any good. I’m honestly too exhausted to worry about it.

Then I open the front door, and brush past Amias, making my way down the hallway to the stairs. "Let's go." I call him as I run down the steps. I'm actually thankful something’s happening now.

I really need a distraction from last night.

◆◆◆

In the silence, I keep my hands clamped on my lap instead of the white leather seats. I still can’t help but let my mind race with memories of the nightmare.

The voices. They were all so familiar and terrifying.

The room. That horrific empty dark room. The smell of rust and dirt. No way to escape.

"… dreamscreechers."

The mention jerks me away from my thoughts and I look at Amias. His hardened gaze is directed at the window.

What is he saying about dreamscreechers? Is it about me?

My body freezes before I follow his stare. It’s the castle-looking mall again, this time with windows busted through and half the building charred to black, much of it crumbled into ash and chunks of cement.

"I can't understand how a creature can be so cruel,” Amias hisses. He looks back at me, the vibrancy of his irises chased away. A storm brews within his eyes as if the lake had vanished. “Or how any person can love those things.”

I flinch as my muscles tense. Why was he so angry all of a sudden? "What?"

"The dreamscreechers," he growls. "The death toll is seventeen at the moment."

"Oh…" My vision blurs as I think back to the attack. "That's… terrible…” I thought our knights had better morals than that. Sure, we killed people unjustly under Vasilisa's orders, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised, but…we've always avoided attacking kids and killing mothers.

Vasilisa's getting more ruthless by the second. “I'm so sorry…”

He lowers his cold glower. “We wouldn't have this problem if we got rid of all of the dreamscreechers.”

I snap my head back to him as I try to comprehend what I just heard. "What?"

"They don't deserve to live." He shrugs as if expecting me to agree.

"Time and time again they've proven that all they do is kill for entertainment. They have no morals. In the beginning we tried to befriend them and then they attacked us and continued for no good reason. What kind of kingdom are we to keep those things alive? We should let them suffer the same as us! Kill them one by one, and make sure they experience the agony they’ve caused everyone else.

" He closes his eyes and inhales, before turning to the window again.

"They wouldn't have hurt you or me, or the people they mauled to death if they had an ounce of humanity. It just pisses me off."

I study his face. He's not being serious, is he? This isn't the same man I was talking to yesterday. "You think the solution is to just murder them?"

"Of course." Each word lacks emotion. "Why wouldn't we?"

My teeth clench as I scratch my leg, desperate to turn my fingernails to claws. I did not go through the shit I went through just to suffer because of what Vasilisa did, and I especially did not save him for him to say this.

Is he just as cruel as I thought he would be?

No matter how loving they are, never, and I mean never, trust an Amarian…

Of course Amias would. Father was right. He’s the grandson of Amara after all. The grandson of a killer. "You think that dreamscreechers actually enjoy killing all of those people? That they are not suffering as well?"

His nose wrinkles as if I had offended him. "You don't think they're evil?"

I want to give him a good lesson about what goes down in Somnia. I want to tell him all of the reasons that he is wrong. That he has a dangerous way of thinking and that he should be ashamed. About what I went through. About my loved ones who were killed under Vasilisa.

I bite my tongue. It wouldn't be smart. Could I really just tell this prince, who just admitted he wanted to kill my kind, the truth? Worse yet, he has the power to get me killed!

I fold my arms and glare at the carpet car floor. My heart still begs to give him a beating, whether verbally or physically, but my brain is smarter. Even that little lash out might have given myself away.

"Someone…said something similar about me from where I’m from," I say. "I might not be one, but I can understand how stupid that statement is. Fear makes you do horrific things."

I bite the inside of my cheek as it settles in my mind that he might not buy the excuse. I'm fucked.

"I…I didn't know," he says gently. It's back to the soothing voice he had last night as he was stitching me up.

But after his insults, the voice has lost its effect. It seems fake.

"I'm sorry…" he murmurs. "I shouldn't have said that."

I sigh. It doesn't even sound like he’s sorry about what he said. He is just sorry for making me uncomfortable.

I really should've known. My father told me the stories and I know how Amarians think of my kind. His kindness was too good to be true.

Voices of my past haunt me as I keep my gaze on the floor, reminding me of all the reasons that statement got to me.

"This kingdom is all fucked up."

I said that to Kaius and my other friend, Clarissa. Clarissa’s leaf green eyes fill my mind, as well as her big white ponytail that always stuck out from under her metal helmet.

"This is all fucked!" I cried . "He didn't deserve to die!"

"You did what you had to do," Clarissa whispered, stroking my back. She was smaller than me despite being older, but I still felt secure in her arms. She was the older sister I wish I had. "You did what Vasilisa demanded. You did your job."

Though she had kept her composure every other way, she sniffled. Kaius’ dark eyes stared at us through greased auburn hair as he leaned against the door frame behind us. His eyes watered, but he stayed silent and watched Clarissa and I.

That day, I was ordered to kill someone. Someone innocent. The crime they committed was saying that Vasilisa was corrupting our kingdom, which was true. The very punishment was proof of that.

I had blacked out when it happened. I don't remember the murder. The crying and comfort from my friends are all I can recall.

A small sniffle escapes my mouth but I try to keep it all in. I don't need to be raising Amias’ concern after what he said. That's how I’ll get caught. That's how I get handed in and slaughtered.

Amias is just as wicked and cruel as I thought. He's only sweet to people like him.

I should leave for Caelestia soon, before he catches on and has me strangled. It's only a matter of time before he catches on, and I miss my chance to find a kingdom that accepts me.