Page 14

Amias

I wince and lightly kick my ankle against the examination table as Dr. Kurt pierces my skin with the needle. I divert my attention to all the details of the room instead, not wanting to see the thread go through flesh.

The blue walls around us. I chose that color when I was five and Dr. Kurt wanted to redesign this room to my liking. My family are his only patients here, me being his primary.

I also picked the paintings of the doves on the left wall in honor of Mother's love for birds.

The next painting is of bread sides and honey, my childhood snacks, and then on the right wall, a simple cartoon of a blushing deer eating grass with a grin.

There was something intriguing to me about deer growing up, with their big antlers and proud stances as they chewed with their crooked jaws.

Those childhood memories are soothing in comparison to watching a thread weaving through my flesh.

The sting of the needle leaves as Dr. Kurt takes a step back, examining me once more. "And he's all set," Dr. Kurt says finally as Mother, Father and Erasmus peek over his shoulder.

Dr. Kurt pushes back his large black framed glasses that seemed rather goofy on him, but somehow matched the long white doctor suit. He smiles, the wrinkles becoming that much more defined around his nose, lips and eyes.

It's odd to think that those same eyes have looked down upon me since I was a newborn.

He turns back towards Mother and chuckles. "I'll let you get back to your child. I know you're anxious to talk to him."

“Oh-oh, yeah. Of course.” Mother grins nervously. She pulls him into a hug. “Thank you!”

“You're welcome,” he says as she pulls away. "I'll check back in a week to make sure it's all healed alright. Make sure not to wash those stitches for the next twenty four hours, and don't go swimming, scratch it or play any rough sports. It can tear the stitches open."

“Got it.” I nod. I'm just relieved that the stitching is over. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome." He picks up his briefcase from the desk beside the examination table and walks out the door.

Mother rushes to sit next to me on the examination table. “Little dove," her voice quivers as she cups my cheeks. "You always manage to keep scaring me."

“It's okay,” I put a hand on her shoulder. “I'm fine. Now my biggest problem is that my shirt got bloody.” I laugh to assure her further.

“I'm sorry Mother.” Erasmus bows his head, his eyes big and shiny like he had been scolded. “I should've been more aware of his bullets. I would've gotten him out of there”

“Oh little swan, you don't need to apologize.” Mother offers him a soft smile.

I slump my shoulders. He's always felt a need to watch over me because of Mother's anxiety. It's like he wants to be my secondary father.

Father reaches up to grab Erasmus' shoulder, raising his heels a little. “It's not always your responsibility to take care of him. He's a man now. He can handle himself.”

“Yeah. I'm not five anymore.” I scoff. Erasmus narrows his eyes and I roll mine.

Father puts a hand to his golden beard laced with gray, matching the slicked-back hair on his head.

“I mean, you might think it's nothing, but as an average human, Amias has more than enough to take care of himself.

He's six foot five, and has magic from Cosmo's bloodline. That's more than I can say for myself!”

“ Thank you!” I throw my hands up.

“And on top of that, he's been working on this body. He's built! Anyone would be afraid of him.” Father reaches over, raising his heels to be eye level with me, and rubs my head.

I chuckle and pull his hand away from my hair. “Father! Stop it!”

He laughs, his eyes shining with pride. “He's stronger than you guys give him credit for. Besides, you both did the right thing by going after those dreamscreechers.” He looks back to Erasmus.

“Now I know I didn't raise two cowards. I raised two grown men !” He flexes an arm through his long navy suit, embroidered with golden swirls on the edges. He balls his fist and shakes it.

“That's right!” I mimic his movements and stand up.

“He could've died out there.” Erasmus mutters. “What would you say then?”

Father sighs, a soft frown tugging at his lips. “I would be devastated but it’s better than running away.” But then he smiles back at me. “But he's smart and strong enough to come out on top.”

“Like I've been saying!” I smirk, scrunching my nose in my brother's direction. He groans.

“It would be more than devastating!” Mother glares at Father. “I couldn't stand it if Amias or Erasmus died in a dreamscreecher attack!”

He shrugs. “It would be tragic, but I think you both need to have some more faith in Amias.”

“I do have faith in him!” Mother snaps. “I just worry like any parent should. We've already almost lost him multiple times! What if this was the time we actually did?”

Everyone gets silent. I bow my head as we stare at Mother. Is she okay?

She breathes heavily, glancing at everyone before slouching. “I'm sorry…”

“It's okay Mother,” I murmur. “You don't need to apologize.”

“I'm sorry, my love.” Father walks over to her, lifting to the tip of his feet.

He grabs her by the chin and kisses her forehead.

My gaze is drawn to the symbol of their marriage and soulmate bond on his ring finger -a silhouette of a bird in a dark brown in honor of their shared love of bird watching.

It's what brought them together. “I just don't want you to keep stressing over our son.”

“I know.” Mother sighs. “I know, I just …

" She turns to me. I sit back down next to her.

"I just worry that one day everything is going to catch up to you, and I don't want to lose you.

" She rests a hand on my shoulder, tears glistening in her eyes.

"I mean, if it weren't for the technology we have today, I'm not sure you would've made it. "

“But I'm okay now Mother. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.”

Her expression doesn't change as she cups her hands together. "You were barely the size of my hand when you were born. I remember the cries…the nurses… the doctors… telling me you may not live…" She gives a brief smile but her tears spill. "Just so small and vulnerable."

She had always been this way talking about her pregnancy with me and the weeks after it. I was born prematurely and had pneumonia soon after. Doctors weren't sure if I would pull through, but with enough medicines, potions, and intubation, I did.

She had told me those were the worst moments in her entire life. In my earlier memories, Mother would get Dr. Kurt for every little cut and bruise, even when I winced over paper cuts. If that scared her, I can only imagine how scared she was this time.

I lean over and wrap my arms around her. She sobs softly, and a pang of guilt seeps throughout my body. Who knew my very existence could cause so much pain?

She doesn't deserve that. No one does.

Father embraces her from behind while Erasmus squeezes her shoulder. “It's alright Mother…” Erasmus soothes.

“I'm still here…” I whisper. “I've made it twenty years.”

“I know…” Mother whimpers. “I know…”

After a long moment of comfort, Mother pulls herself away and wipes her tears. "I just still get worried that something will go wrong.” Her teary eyes meet mine. “Like as if I'll do something that will lead you down the path of death. I'd never forgive myself.”

I lay a hand on her shoulder. “This incident wasn't your fault, Mother. There's nothing you could've done to stop it.”

“Next time I'll make sure he has extra bullets when we go to the gun range,” Erasmus says behind her. “It's my fault.”

Again with the need to watch me! “ I will make sure I have enough ammo,” I scowl at him. “I'll handle it.”

Erasmus squints. “I'll just remind you to bring more.”

“However it happens, I just want you safe.” Mother looks at me, then at Erasmus. “Both of you. I know you're experienced with the military but I'd rather you stay out of trouble.”

“I'll avoid it when I can.”

“Good.” Her glances flicker between us. “Because I don't want to lose either of my sweet boys.”

We all smile at each other when Father pokes his head between Mother and Erasmus. “Alright guys. Let's hug it out!”

Father wraps his arms around Mother and Erasmus. Erasmus reaches a hand towards my head and brings me closer. I chuckle along with everyone before joining in on the hug.

The laughter softens as we embrace. We're together, happy as a family. We can scold and argue all we like, but in the end, we're still a family.

“It feels nice to know we're all still here.” Father says softly.

“Yes, all in one piece,” Mother says.

There's a peaceful silence between us, until Mother pulls away. “Lovebird,” she lifts Father’s chin and pecks his lips. “Can you get us some hot drinks? I’m craving honey and milk.”

Erasmus and I stick our tongues out. Sometimes they display too much affection.

His cheeks redden before smirking. “Of course, my love I assume you would like some too, Amias?” Father looks at me.

“Yeah.” Honey and milk have always been one of my and Mother's favorite drinks.

It brings me back to when I was five and noticed Mother drinking it when everyone had hot chocolate.

I asked her for a taste, and little did she know her choice to let me try would lead me to constantly beg her for more.

“And you want hot chocolate?” He turns to Erasmus.

Erasmus snorts. “Sure but I'll come with you. Make sure you don't burn the milk.”

“That hasn't happened since you were six!” Father exclaims.

After they leave the room, my thoughts wander back to Clara. I hope I don't find her face on the news. She should’ve escaped, right?

My gaze goes to the window, where the city skyline stands behind a small strip of forest. Estrella’s star is setting, showering Amara city in orange light. If she made it out, she's spending the night in the streets.

My jaw tightens. What if some creep comes upon her? What if she runs into criminals? Into dreamscreechers? Maybe she'll get infected.

“What's on your mind, dove?”

I glance to Mother before looking back to the window. “It's nothing.”

She scowls. “Your foot’s swinging.”

I feel my foot tap the side of the examination table. I force it still and titter at Mother.

“Today's not a day for secrets.” She folds her arms. “Tell me what's going on.”

I take a deep breath. She's right. I don't need to make her more anxious. “There's a girl I saved back there. I met her yesterday. She has wounds from a panther attack recently and she's homeless. She refuses to go to the hospital though.”

She slowly nods her head. “How old is she?”

“She's eighteen. She doesn't have any family…or friends even.” I can't even begin to imagine what that's like. “I was going to search for her, but I knew the news of the attack would worry you, so I came here instead. ”

Her gaze flicks towards the window and her lips twist. I wait for a response. What is she thinking?

“You'll restock your bullets?” Mother raises a brow at me.

“Yeah. Why?”

She purses her lips. “You should go find her.”

I give her a side glance. She really wants me to go? “Mother. If you need me here-”

“I'll be fine.” She lets out a huff. “As much as I hate to admit it, your father's right. I have too much anxiety over you, and I need to learn to step back as a mother.”

“And you're sure? I'll stay here if I need to.”

“Yes. It's hard on me but I'll manage. If you think she's in need of help, go find her. Just go after your brother leaves and come back at ten, when Grandmother’s home.”

So she's really letting me go? Out of all things, I never would've expected this!

My grin grows as I lean over to embrace her. "Thanks Mother."

"You're welcome, little dove."