Page 26 of Something Reckless

ALBA

T oday’s a big day. One I’ve been nervous about all week.

But nervous or not, it’s overdue. Today is the day that Jagger gets to meet all of Easton’s family, as we gather for family dinner.

Along with Jagger, my mom and me, we’re expecting Easton, his mother and his three brothers. Also, I totally didn’t know that Lincoln has a son who’s a little younger than Jagger. This makes me so happy.

Growing up as an only child has been isolating for Jagger so far, and I kind of figured that cousins were out of the cards for him at this point. But not only has Jagger’s family quadrupled overnight, he now has a friend for life in his cousin, Cameron.

Easton told me that his mom and brothers took the news of Jagger’s existence really well. Naturally, his mom was shocked, but also thrilled to add to their family. His brothers are excited for another boy to join the Raines gang.

Even still, I’m anxious about what they’ll think of Jagger. Of what they’ll think of my decision to keep him a secret all these years.

I feel embarrassed that I didn’t give Easton the benefit of the doubt. I feel guilty that I didn’t allow him the opportunity to decide whether he wanted to be in Jagger’s life. I feel ashamed that I deprived an amazing father of the first eight years of his son’s life.

And I am…so…very…sorry.

Am I a perfect person? No. Not at all. Did I make mistakes in this situation? I most definitely did. Do I deserve Easton’s grace after what I’ve done? Probably not.

But I’d really, really like the opportunity to make things right. I can only hope that Easton will allow me to do that. I think that tonight is the first step in that direction.

When the doorbell rings, I rush down the hallway to answer it.

To be honest, I was a little surprised that my mom wanted to host tonight’s get together at her place.

Easton insisted on buying pizza for everyone and keeping tonight casual.

I have a hunch that he was just trying to keep things easy for my mother, for which I’m thankful.

I open the door and a grinning grade schooler scampers inside. He’s followed by Monica Raines and her mammoth sons who trail behind her like towering bodyguards.

One. Two. Three. Four.

Wow—the Raines family is breathtaking.

Introductions are smooth, and while Jagger is a bit shy and hiding behind me at first, he starts to loosen up quickly, getting to know his cousin, his new grandma, and his uncles.

We sit down to eat, squished around the dining table along with a couple extra tables that are pushed together.

Jagger and Cameron hit it off immediately. They barely manage to eat their pizza with all the jokes they’re busy entertaining us with.

“Knock, Knock,” Jagger says to Cameron.

“Who's there?”

“Cows go.”

Cameron’s brows pinch together as he tries to figure this one out.“Cows go… who ?”

“No, silly, cows go ‘moo’!” Jagger shouts, and they both break out in laughter.

Throughout dinner, the boys go back and forth like that, each telling their own goofy knock-knock jokes.

It’s hard not to just sit there and grin.

Seeing Jagger happy and getting to know his new family takes that last bit of weight off my shoulders.

I always worry about him fitting in and making friends, but this group immediately takes him as one of their own.

Everyone here seems to be having a great time.

My mom and Easton’s mom have ended up seated together at the far end of the table, catching up on lost years.

I see them smiling and laughing the whole time.

They were always friendly, but now they have a shared grandson to bond over.

The two women are having their own private conversation,

Mom looks more alive than she has in a long time.It’s nice to see her with a friend.

She was friends with everyone in the entire town just a couple years ago. But now, most people don’t seem to know how to treat her.

I think that a lot of our community realizes that she was just as much a victim as everyone else when everything went down with my dad and his mistress and the church. But some of our judgier neighbors like to play the whole ‘how did she not know?’ card, which is just plain stupid.

I look around the small kitchen, taking everything in, watching Jagger and Cameron as they continue to play together, listening to the laughter of the Raines brothers.

Easton’s eyes catch mine across the room, and I grin at him.He grins back.

He looks so laidback and handsome tonight, in a casual long sleeved blue shirt, open over a white graphic tee. His dark waves are tousled to perfection. His angular jaw has just the right amount of scruff. And every time he aims that perfect smile at me, my ovaries get confused all over again.

He’s my nephew’s dad. My nephew’s dad. My nephew’s dad.

That constant reminder is the one thing that’s keeping me from leaping across this table and eating him up like a snack.

“Thank you…” he mouths at me across the distance and it makes my stomach jump.

“Thank you ,” I mouth back.

Jagger and Cameron hop up from the table as soon as the meal is over. Then, they’re lining the hallway with plastic race car tracks, building the ultimate setup for an upcoming Hot Wheels race.

Easton and his brothers clean up after our meal. They take piles of dirty paper plates and cups to the trash, so Mom won’t have to deal with it later. Then the guys relocate to the living room, where they crowd around my mom’s too-small furniture, watching baseball on TV.

It’s amusing to watch how Jagger keeps dashing over to talk to Easton, showing him something new every few minutes. Despite the constant interruptions, Easton is patient and good-humored. Heck—he looks like he’s loving the attention, chatting with the boys and high-fiving Jagger left and right.

For someone who just became a dad a few days ago, he sure looks like he knows what he’s doing. Which just further cements what I already know.

I should have told him sooner.

I’m just lucky that he doesn’t hate me after the things I’ve done.

I can see now that I’ve made some huge fuck-ups over the years.

I can admit that I handled the issue of Jagger’s paternity all wrong.

But I am so grateful for the invisible forces that stepped in to bring us all here. I feel incredibly blessed.

The grandmothers are still chatting merrily and I zone in to their conversation.

“We need to hang out again soon,” Easton’s mother says to mine.

“We do,” Mom agrees.

“I mean it, Patty,” Monica insists. “After everything you did to help my family back in the day, the least I can do is be your shoulder to lean on while you heal.”

Mom covers the other woman’s hand with her own. “I’d like that.”

My eyes burn, but I blink back any tears that want to appear.

Serving the community always meant a lot to my mother.

She took her volunteering role seriously and running the church’s food bank meant a lot to her.

But she really had a soft spot for the Raines family.

I saw at least a time or two where she sent homemade meals with the boys.

And she was always finding an excuse to drop off secondhand clothes when she found something in the church’s lost and found that might fit any of the Raines boys.

But now, hearing the two women talk, I’m wondering if she did even more to help them out.

I smile privately, glad Jagger’s grandmothers are hitting it off .

For a long time, Mom’s entire identity was wrapped up in being a wife, a mother, a volunteer. When my father left, he took more than the money in the bank account. He took a part of her soul. I hate him for that every single day.

I’m so proud of Mom for walking away from our family home when Dad was put on house arrest. I know it was hard for her, especially being the loyal and devoted wife that she always was. But when she signed those divorce papers and moved out, she took her power back.

Even still, she wobbles emotionally from time to time. That’s why it’s so important for me to always be there for her.

Pushing up from the table, I give the women their space, and finish cleaning up. Then I start setting out tubs of ice cream, along with a bunch of bowls. I call out to the boys, telling them it’s time for dessert.

But when I open the silverware drawer, I blink in confusion. What the heck?

“Where are the spoons?” I shout out to whoever’s listening.

“Huh?” I hear Mom say in response.

I repeat myself. “The spoons. There’s none in there.”

“What in the heavens?” My mother mutters, as she and Monica get up to help. All three of us are now searching the kitchen for the spoons and not having any luck.

I call out into the living room where the guys are. “Hey, did one of you already grab the spoons or something?” Seriously, how do a bunch of spoons just get up and walk away?

“What? Why would we have the spoons?” Easton responds, and I hear his footsteps approaching.

“Do you guys mind checking around?” I know it’s a strange request but I’m starting to feel like I’m losing my mind .

Now everyone’s up looking for the missing spoons and grumbling. Meanwhile, the ice cream is probably starting to melt. This is getting out of control.

But then I hear it.

The quiet snickers coming from nearby. Suddenly suspicious, I follow the sounds. That’s when I find Jagger and Cameron in the hallway, belly laughing, bent over and unable to keep themselves upright.

“Boys…” I deadpan, a smile dancing on my lips. “What did you do?”

Jagger and Cameron are laughing too hard to answer.

“ Boys ,” Cameron’s dad appears behind me, a knowing look on his face. “Where are all the spoons?”

The mischievous little ones guide us around the house. Spoons are hidden everywhere. Under couch cushions. In the refrigerator. Behind furniture. In grandma’s bed.

“Good grief,” Mom says, shaking her head, even through the ghost of a smile on her lips.