Page 18 of Something Reckless

EASTON

B y the time Jagger and I stroll across the lobby of the arena to meet up with Alba, the kid looks utterly exhausted. Hockey can wear out even the most athletic grown men. But no matter how many breaks I offered the little guy, he just kept pushing.

Kind of reminds me of myself at that age.

Despite the fact that he can barely stay upright as we exit the building, Jagger’s still wearing a big, goofy grin. A grin that looks just like mine.

Who knew that spending time with an eight-year old would be so much fun?Knowing that he enjoyed hanging out with me, makes me feel a hundred feet tall. Seeing how bright he shined on the ice and how the other kids thought he was the coolest guy around—all of it filled me with happiness and pride.

And when I catch the little smile on Alba’s face as we head out the door, that feeling of pride only grows bigger.

Although a part of me is angry with her for keeping this secret all these years, a bigger part of me wants to prove myself to her.

I want her to see that I can be a good dad to Jagger.

I want her to trust that I intend on being here for my son and supporting her in any way that she needs.

I want to surpass all her expectations. Impressing her is important to me and I’m not sure why.

I swing Jagger’s new duffel bag up on my shoulder and trail behind them. I listen as the boy is busy telling Alba all about how he’s going to be the best defenseman in the world—“No offense to Easton,” of course.

But as we’re approaching the spot where Alba is parked next to my own rental car, I begin to feel uneasy, getting lost in my head.

I had so much fun today. I don’t want this to end.

I don’t know when I’ll get to see Jagger—or Alba again—and I’m a little nervous that she’s going to say this was it . One and done.

Is she going to make it difficult for me to spend time with my son? Because the last thing I want to do is get a whole bunch of lawyers involved. I can’t let that happen.

So when Jagger sprints up ahead to the car, I shoot my shot, lowering my voice so that only Alba can hear. “Hey, would you guys like to go grab something to eat? My treat.”

Her eyebrows furrow as she checks the time on her watch. “That’s sweet, but I’ve got to get to my other job. Raincheck?”

“Of course,” I say, ignoring the sharp pang I feel in my chest.

Alba has always been a hard-worker. Stubbornly so.

But I hate that she has to work all of those low-paying jobs just to scrape by.

Especially when I could have been shouldering the financial load all these years.

But I doubt it would go over well if I said that right now.

So I offer a stiff nod and keep my opinions to myself.

When we get to the car, Jagger flings his arms around me in a tight hug. I hunch down and wrap my arms around him, too, letting my eyes close and wishing I didn’t have to let him go.

But I know that Alba needs to get home and get ready for work. I don’t want to create yet another obstacle in her day. So I hold my tongue and dutifully stuff the duffel bag into the trunk of her hatchback.

Jagger hops into Alba’s backseat, and I help him get buckled into his booster seat with one last goodbye.

I can’t help but notice that the car is a mess—snack wrappers in the cup holders, cookie crumbs in the creases of the back seat, romance novels on the floor of the front passenger side, some sticky shit dried up on the gear shift.

It’s all a testament to Alba’s hectic life.

She’s struggling, and I wish I could make things easier for her.

When I turn around to face Alba, I find her watching me. I see that the hesitation and distrust have crept back into her eyes. I don’t blame her. I’m the enemy. I’m the one who’s been turning her routines upside down since I stormed back into her life.

Even still, she forces herself to be pleasant. “Jagger really had a great time today,” she says quietly. “Thanks for getting him onto the ice.”

I let my gaze bounce around her pretty face. “He’s a great kid.” I close Jagger’s door so Alba and I can have a tiny bit of privacy.

She nods, smiling softly. “He is. You’re…you’re going to love him.”

“I already do,” I say easily, meaning it with every fiber of my being. I don’t know if that’s normal, or if it’s creepy, but I haven’t felt this sense of fulfillment in a long time.

It’s crazy how, just a few days ago, I didn’t even know this little boy existed. Yet, now, Jagger has already taken over my heart.

Hell, even before I knew he was my own flesh and blood, I sensed this ridiculous connection to him. Now that I’m getting to know the kid, our bond is just growing more intense.

“I, um…” I drag my fingers through my hair. “Can I see you guys again soon?”

Alba nods. “Jagger would like that.”

But, would you? I want to ask. Because as much as I’m enjoying spending time with my son, I really would like to see Alba again, too.

As a friend. Of course.

Because Alba is my son’s aunt.

That means I can’t let myself be attracted to her.

I won’t allow it.

I’m not a fucking animal.

I won’t look at her ‘that way’.

Because Alba…is…my…son’s…aunt.

All day I’ve had to remind myself of that again and again.

I’ve had to force myself to not notice the way her glossy red curls frame her high cheekbones and the way her hypnotic green eyes sparkle from behind her glasses and the way her peachy lips are a little bit glossier than the last time I saw her.

I’ve literally been forcing myself not to see her. It’s been painfully difficult.

I tear my eyes away from her yet again and open my own car door. I grab a small blue box from the glove compartment. I can’t stand the nausea in my stomach when I hand it to her.

“A paternity test…” she says softly, her eyes scanning over the packaging.

I swallow the knot in my throat. “Lincoln got it couriered as quickly as possible. There’s an instruction sheet inside but if you want me to, I can come over and—”

“No. I’ll follow the instructions.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” She adjusts her glasses and flips the box over a few times in her hands. She’s nervous about this. I can tell.

I try to make the process sound simple. “You just have to swab his cheek with the cotton swab thingie. The testing place says the results come back within three business days after they get the samples.”

“We’ll do it tonight before bed.” She glances to where Jagger sits in her car and her chest shudders on a heavy breath.

I hate that I’m putting her in this situation. But she’s been handling it all with grace, every step of the way.

When I glance into the backseat, I find Jagger with his head lolling against the window. He’s already dozing off. The kid is adorable.

I feel worry lines creasing my forehead when I return my attention to Alba. “You and I…we, uh, we still have a lot to figure out.”

She purses her lips before she nods gravely. “I…I know.”

“Text me when you’re free again?”

“Sure.” She smiles once more but this time, it’s clearly forced. After all that she’s been through, I hate being yet another source of stress in her world. But I need to be in my son’s life. That’s non-negotiable.

She climbs into the driver’s seat and starts the car. Rolling down her window, she peers up at me.

My heart starts thumping when she looks at me that way, all innocent and uncertain with those pretty green eyes.

Out of nowhere, I imagine her kneeled in front of me with my cock gripped in her hands and that same docile expression on her face. Suddenly, I need my damn crutches. My knees are weak just thinking about Alba that way.

Those nagging questions that are none of my business reenter my head. Does she have a man or not? Is Christopher still around? Or is it some other asshole keeping her warm at night? I’m dying to know.

I quickly put myself in mental time-out. My son’s aunt. Alba is my son’s aunt. Whoever she happens to be fucking these days is none of my goddamned business.

“Bye, Easton.” Her gaze is guarded, her cheeks are pink, and I’d pay a thousand bucks to know exactly what she thinks of me right now.

“Bye, Tiny Tiger .”

A smile flashes across her face when I call her the nickname I made up for her back in high school.

Our eye contact lingers a moment too long, but I can’t look away. Not until Alba drops her gaze from mine. That’s when my attention falls to the swell of her breasts against the neckline of her top. My mouth waters, but the bitter taste of guilt quickly floods my tongue. Stop. Checking. Her. Out.

I clear my throat. “You’d better not keep Christopher waiting,” I blurt.

Her head tilts to the side. “Christopher…?”

Fuck. I immediately feel like an idiot for saying that out loud. “Nothing.” I shake my head.

It takes me by surprise when Alba stares blankly out the windshield and mutters. “Christopher’s not in the picture. He hasn’t been for a long time.”

Something in the way she says it triggers an alarm bell inside my brain. That relationship is over, and it didn’t end well.

He hurt her .

My blood starts to boil.

Alba lifts her eyes to me, wearing that forced smile again. “Have a good night, Easton.”

“Have a good night,” I say, not understanding the sudden tightness in my chest.

She starts the engine and I take a step away from her little vehicle as she begins to back out of her spot. Then I stand there and wave until Alba and Jagger drive off.

When they’re gone, I step up to the rusty railing of Lucky Clover Bridge. I stare out at the river in the distance, reflecting on the day I had. I really, really want this situation to work out.

Saying a silent prayer for good luck, I dig some loose change out of my pocket and flick a shiny nickel into the water below. Then I toss in another one.

“This is fucking silly,” I scold myself as I drop down onto a park bench.