Page 21 of Something Reckless
ALBA
W hen the day is finally over, I grab my stuff, eager to get out of here. Exhausted after my emotionally-draining shift at the hospital, I head next door to pick Jagger up from the library.
I’m wildly grateful for all the programs and activities they offer in the summer. I can’t afford all those fancy private programs, and Jagger’s mind is too busy to be stuck at home all the time.Plus, it allows my mom to have a break, too.
“Hey, buddy! How was your day?” I say brightly, excited to be the one to pick him up today.
Jagger gives me a hug, but it’s weaker than usual. “It was okay, I guess.”
I frown, quickly picking up on the sadness in his voice. I stop and kneel down on the sidewalk outside the library to be eye level with my nephew. “What’s wrong? Why are you sad?”
He shrugs, eyes falling to his scuffed up sneakers.
It instantly worries me, seeing him looking so dejected. “ Come on, bud. You know you can tell me anything. What happened?”
“I’m sad because my reading group is having a father-son challenge. But I don’t have a dad, so I told them I can’t do it. Then Timothy and Brad and their friends made fun of me.” His eyes brim with tears.
My nostrils flare, but I try to hide my fury. Nothing makes me angrier than little jerks picking on this sweet kid because they think it makes them look cool. Except maybe the adults who organize things like this without considering that every family’s circumstances are different.
Besides, I happen to know that Brad’s so-called ‘dad’ is a douchebag anyway, so it’s not like he’s going to be participating, either.
“Don’t you worry about them, Jagger. You know what I say about bullies, right?
” I brush a dark curl off his forehead, and he nods.
“I promise that I’ll speak to the event facilitator and see what we can do.
I bet I could do the challenge with you?
” I give him a wink and am rewarded with a tiny grin.
“Yeah. I bet,” he echoes me.
But later at night after I’ve put Jagger to bed and have sent off a strongly-worded email to the library’s event coordinator, I realize that the person I’m most upset with is myself.
Jagger does have a dad—who’s a particularly great guy—and I’m the one depriving him of that relationship. Before Easton showed up, it was easy to just carry on, but now? Now, Easton is here and he wants his son to know him.
Shit, I feel bad, and this adulting stuff is freaking hard.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad having another grown-up to share some of the parental decision-making with. Because sometimes, after a long day of working multiple jobs and helping with homework, simply trying to decide what to cook for dinner makes my brain hurt.
Tonight, I’m supposed to be studying my real estate stuff to prepare for re-taking the exam.
Yet for the past forty-five minutes, I’ve been staring blankly at my computer screen, when I should be trying to read through my online material. I’m not getting very far.
Trying to concentrate is impossible.
Especially when the memory of making out with my nephew’s dad this afternoon at work keeps clawing its way into my mind.
Easton. The elevator. The kiss. The entire situation keeps running away with my thoughts. Let’s just say that my computer screen has gone to sleep more times than I can count.
I don’t know how the hell I thought that kissing that man would be a good idea.
Things between Easton and me are already complicated enough as is.
Adding sexual tension to that dumpster fire is the last thing any of us needs.
I’m doing my best to keep my hormones on a leash and to keep from doing anything stupid, but I feel like this animal attraction is starting to take control of me.
I slam my laptop closed.Then I flinch. I can’t afford to break this one. I’ve had it since high school.
I get a notification on my phone. Rolling over in bed, I pick up my device and see that Raya just posted a carousel of pictures on social media. Food pics and bikini pics and shopping pics and pics at the spa.
She still hasn’t read my texts, though. Grrr …
I open my messaging app and re-read the last few messages I sent to her.
In those texts, I’m all but begging her to call me.
I want her side of the story. I want to know if she lied about those emails, why she lied about those emails.
I want to give her a chance to prove that she’s not the monster here.
As much as it hurts to admit this to myself, Jagger is seemingly the last thing on my sister’s mind. Here I am, worrying myself into a tizzy over whether she’d approve of me letting Easton into Jagger’s life. Yet she clearly doesn’t give a fuck.
My chest burns with resentment. This isn’t fair. All I’ve ever done is try to protect my sister. Meanwhile, she doesn’t seem to care about anyone but herself.
Justifiably pissed off, I abandon my real estate studies for the moment and pick up my phone. If I don’t do this now, I’ll chicken out.
It takes three rings before Easton answers, and when he does, his voice is all deep and groggy. Hearing it makes me warm and tingly in all the wrong places. I quickly shake my head as the intrusive thoughts poke through.
I clear my throat. “Umm, hi. Is…this a bad time?”
Crap. What if I’m interrupting him in bed with someone?Why did I think it would be a good idea to call him at this time of night?
“No, no.” I hear him moving around, like he’s trying to sit up. “Just had a hard physiotherapy session today. I crashed on the couch afterward and I guess I fell asleep.”
When I don’t say anything else, Easton clears his throat.
“What’s up, Alba?” he asks softly. “We both know you wouldn’t be calling me this late unless it’s important.”
My reservations raise their ugly heads again. But this time, I just accept that this is what I have to do. My nephew needs his father, and I can’t stand in the way of that.
“Actually, I was calling about Jagger. He was feeling pretty bummed today because his reading group is having some father-son thing and the kids made fun of him for not being able to participate and…” I pull in a breath. “I think you were right. We should tell him that you’re his father.”
I’m met with silence.
“Uh. Easton? Did you hear me?”
“Yeah!” he shouts. He suddenly sounds wide awake now. “Hell, yeah. I just didn’t think I heard you right, but you want to tell him? You’re sure about this?”
“I am. It’s not fair to keep him in the dark.”
“Yes. One hundred percent yes!” Easton agrees. “Yes, we need to tell Jagger the truth.”
I find myself smiling at his enthusiasm. “Okay. That’s good. So let’s figure out—”
“And child support,” he cuts in. “I’m going to pay you child support. I’ll figure out how to get that set up. What about bills? What are the bills I can help you with?”
“Money…?” My head is already spinning. Everything with Easton seems to move from zero to sixty before I can even put my seatbelt on. “I…I don’t know, Easton. I’ve been doing it on my own for a long time. But I guess if you want to set something up for your son’s future, I won’t stop you.”
He pushes a fiery breath through his nostrils. “Okay, fine. That’s a good idea,” he concedes. “I’ll have a discussion with Lincoln about my financial options for Jagger’s future,” he decides.“Maybe there’s some kind of investment thing we could do. Some fancy stock market things.”
I’m laughing now. “Whoa! Whoa! Slow down. You’re making me dizzy.”
He chuckles along. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m fully on board, Alba. I promise, you won’t regret this.” There is so much excitement in Easton’s voice.“Anyway, I think we should tell him together.”
This is happening. This is really happening.
Yet still, I feel a wave of anxiety rolling in. I do everything in my power to keep it at bay. “We can’t do it tomorrow. I work in the evening. But the next day? Are you free around dinner time?”
“I’m all yours,” Easton says, making my stomach do that funny thing again.
“O-okay. Good.” I find myself smiling.
We say good night, and I sit there in my bed, replaying the whole thing in my mind. I don’t know why, but I expected this conversation to be more difficult. Hearing how excited Easton is about this brings a tiny smile to my face. And I feel a little lighter.
Like the weight of the world might not crush me this week.