Page 22 of Something Reckless

EASTON

I ’m pacing my living room, pausing briefly to peek out the front curtains every two minutes. Each time I see that they’re still not here, I resume my pacing.

I’m feeling unusually antsy. My hands are tingly. Heck, I’m even getting sweaty from all the damn stress.So, I relocate to the front porch to wait for Alba and Jagger to arrive.

I’m going to do right by my son. Tonight is the first step.

Mom is away at her place in Sin Valley for a few days, and my brothers left town too, off doing their own thing. So I’m glad to have the property to myself tonight for Jagger and Alba’s visit.

I’m sitting on the front steps, knee bobbing up and down, when they eventually show up. A wave of relief hits me, only to be followed by a new sense of anxiety for what's to come.

Heck, this feels scarier than entering the professional hockey draft.

But I squash my nervousness, hustling down the driveway and greeting them both.

“Hey, little man!”

“Hi Easton!” Jagger shouts excitedly, running up to give me a hug. “Mimi said we get to hang out again. Are we playing hockey?”

“Not today, Buddy. I thought we could hang out at my house this time. Do you want a tour?”

Jagger shrugs. “Sure.”

Meanwhile Alba is nodding like crazy from where she’s standing behind him, which makes me chuckle. Of course she’s eager for a tour of the property.Especially a tour that won’t involve peeking over a fence and falling on that curvy ass of hers.

That curvy ass that I’ve been fantasizing about every night for the past week. That curvy ass I’m not allowed to think about , I scold myself.

I’d never admit to the things I imagine doing to Alba’s gorgeous body when I’m lying in my bed every night with my fist clenched around my cock.

Kissing Alba in the elevator really fucked with my head. Pushing her against the wall and tasting her sweet lips was my teenage wish come true. Only, in real life, it was so much better.

This is the first time we’ve seen each other since we kissed. Seeing her tonight, it’s hard to act normal, like nothing dirty happened between us not so long ago.

Alba is off-limits, for obvious reasons. I don’t want to cross the line with her and compromise this fragile relationship I’m now building with my son. Tonight is a really important night, and I don’t want to fuck it up by acting like a horny caveman.

So I usher the two of them inside and show them around the ground floor. Then we climb the stairs, and I speed things up a bit when I can tell that Jagger’s beginning to grow a little bored .

Alba, however, is in heaven. I can see her realtor brain spinning. She’s gaping in awe at the light fixtures and crown moulding and restored flooring.She’s opening cupboards and inspecting windows and asking a million questions.

“Oh my gosh! I’m in love with this place,” she gushes, spinning in a circle in the middle of one of the bathrooms.

“I can tell.” I smirk. “If I’m not careful, you might sell this house right out from under me when I’m not looking.”

“I just might.” She laughs.

We pass by a room that I’m now in the middle of redecorating, and I hurriedly close the door. But Alba spots it and her eyes fly to mine. She doesn’t say anything until we’ve gotten back to the main floor and Jagger’s busy checking out the big backyard.

“You set up an entire bedroom for Jagger?” she whispers. “How is that even possible? You only had a day!”

I shrug, noticing the tension that forms in her shoulders. “I just wanted to have a space for him. Just in case. I hope that’s okay.”

I bought a bunch of gifts for Jagger. To be honest, I probably overdid it.

And now, seeing the look on Alba’s face lets me know I might need to slow down.

I don’t want to overwhelm him with everything.

I think I’m only going to give him a couple of the books I found for now, since I’ve heard how much he loves to read.

Alba joins me at the sliding door as I stare out into the backyard, watching Jagger doing cartwheels in the grass.

“Easton, what’s your end game here?” she asks me tentatively.

“Are you going to take him away from me? Because I know you’re his father, and you have every right to make decisions for him.

But Fairy Bush is the only home he’s ever known.

” Her words are coming faster by the second.

“Taking him away to a place where he doesn’t know anyone, that could be brutal.

And who’s going to watch him while you’re away on the road?

Some nanny? A stranger? Jagger takes a long while to warm up to strang—”

“Alba. Please. Please slow down.” I hold up a hand to halt her.

Yes, the paternity test will prove that I’m Jagger’s father.

Waiting for the results is just a formality at this point.

But my legal team said that there’s a whole court process that will need to happen before I can make any decisions about his life.

In fact, my gang of lawyers wrote out a whole three-page legal letter detailing a plan of action.

Alba has a standing court order granting her guardianship rights.

Until that changes, I can’t just waltz into her home and take my son away.

And honestly, I don’t want to.

I don’t know the steps forward. But whatever happens next, I want it to be as seamless as possible for Jagger.

His aunt and grandmother are the only caregivers my son has ever known.

It wouldn’t be in his best interests for him to see me fighting with them.

I’m determined to keep things civil between all parties involved.

“What do you want, Easton?” Alba asks me again.

“We’ll figure it out,” I say, knowing full well that she deserves more than my non-committal answer.

“That’s not very specific…” Her eyebrows furrow. “I don’t want to make this situation any more difficult than it already is, but all the uncertainty is driving me crazy.”

I drag a hand through my hair, feeling the heavy unpredictability of what the future holds. “Alba, please. One step at a time. Okay? Let’s take things one step at a time.” I keep my eyes on Jagger who’s now exploring the flower garden.

The stubborn woman by my side refuses to let me off the hook. “I’m really protective of him and…I don’t like not having a plan here.”

I peer into those tired, green eyes pleading with me from behind her glasses. I see all the fear and exhaustion brimming there. She’s barely holding herself together under the weight of all this.

“You haven’t been sleeping…” I remark, fully turning toward her.

She frowns. “What?”

“You haven’t been sleeping.” My gaze traces the dark circles around her eyes.

Alba shakes her head, shifting her stare away from mine. “I’m fine. I’m used to it.”

I step an inch closer to her. “What do you mean you’re used to it?”

But do I really need her to answer that? The woman works multiple jobs. Plus, she’s doing an online realtor class. All while taking care of my son.

I find myself staring at her, amazed by all that she's accomplished on her own.She’s so damn beautiful. And knowing that she’s set aside so many of her goals for Jagger only makes her all the more beautiful in my eyes.

I want to touch her so bad. I want to tangle my fingers in her coppery curls. I want to trace the pout of her bottom lip.

I want to touch her. More than that, I want to kiss her. But I know I can’t do that again.

“What…?” Alba asks, all but glaring at me.

“You’ve sacrificed so much for him…” I say.

She takes the tiniest step backward, bumping into the frame of the sliding door. “I’m not a hero or something, Easton. I did what had to be done.”

“You made the sacrifices that his own mother refused to,” I emphasize. “Don’t downplay that. ”

She shakes her head. “It’s not like I didn’t have my weak moments over the years.

It’s not like I didn’t imagine how things could have been different if Jagger had had a father figure present to shoulder at least some of the responsibility.

True—I delayed a lot of my dreams to keep my family afloat.

Hell, in those first few months after Raya left, I barely found time to take a shower. But I…I just did what had to be done.”

Guilt cinches my windpipe, making it hard to breathe. “I know you had big dreams for yourself, Alba. You always did. I remember you making all those plans to take over the world. And then, you got stuck cleaning up the mess that I left behind.”

When Alba’s hand combs through her red curls, my gaze travels to her bare ring finger.

I think back to the promise ring she used to wear, and then I start to realize—her career dreams weren’t the only aspirations she let go of for Jagger, were they?

Was she forced to sacrifice a chance at love?

A relationship? Hell—was she forced to sacrifice having a family of her own?

After the mess I made of Alba’s life, how the fuck do I even begin to redeem myself?!

She shrugs. “I knew that my personal goals had to take the back burner for a while. I couldn’t let myself be selfish. The two people I love the most—my mom and Jagger—were depending on me to step up.Family comes first. Always.”

We stand face to face in the doorway and the tension between us mounts. She can feel it. I know she can. I see the flush climbing her neck. I see the labored heave of her chest.

But she looks away, drawing my attention back to what’s important. “I love him so much, Easton, and I just want him to have stability. Consistency. Safety.”

Reaching out, I gently tilt her chin, making her look at me once more. Her breath catches on a delicious little gasp that I struggle to ignore.

Gazing into her eyes, I speak earnestly. “I don’t have all the answers, Alba. But we’re going to figure it out. Together. I won’t shut you out. I promise.”

She nods slightly. “Okay.”

Sweaty and out of breath, Jagger runs up the back porch right then. I set him and Alba up to watch a movie on the big screen in the living room, while I put the finishing touches on the dinner I prepared earlier.

When I texted Alba this morning for meal ideas, I found out that spaghetti and meatballs is Jagger’s favorite dish.

Crazy. It’s my favorite, too.

When the food is ready, we make use of the dining table. I haven’t really used it much, usually eating in front of the TV. But tonight truly feels like a special occasion.

The three of us sit down with our pasta and our glasses of milk, listening to Jagger talk about his day.I could listen to that kid talk for hours. The more I learn about him, the more fascinated I am by the little guy.

When Jagger is slurping up his last noodle, Alba subtly looks my way, making eye contact. I nod back at her, knots in my stomach.

It’s the moment of truth.

“Hey, Buddy. Did you like your spaghetti?” I ask, reaching over to hand him a napkin.

Jagger nods eagerly, wiping some of the sauce from his chin.“You cook really good.”

“Thanks, little man.” I tenderly ruffle his hair.

Alba speaks up, her voice trembling slightly. “Well, Easton and I have something we want to tell you. Something big. ”

Jagger’s little brows pinch together as his eyes dart back and forth between his aunt and me.

“You ever noticed that you and I look a lot alike?” I start.

“Yeah, like the same hair?” Jagger reaches up to pull on one of his messy brown curls.

“Exactly. And our eyes and dimples, too,” I add.

His demeanor shifts, growing serious. “But, why?” He tilts his head to the side, observing my face closely, like he’s seeing me for the first time.

“Jagger, sweetie,” Alba jumps back in. “You look like Easton, because he is more than just your friend.” She holds her breath. “Easton is your dad.”

“My dad?” Jagger echos, his eyes round.

I nod, my throat closing up.

“I…I have a dad…?” The little boy immediately breaks down in tears. So does Alba.

Fuck .

The backs of my own eyes burn so bad. I feel like I’m about to lose it, too. But I hold my emotions in, trying to be strong for them both.

Jagger wipes at his eyes and looks up at his aunt. “Does that mean Easton will move into our house? And what happens when he gets better and starts to play hockey again? Will we all move to Sin Valley with him?”

She sends a panicked look my way. “Oh, I don’t think there will be any big changes right now. Maybe none at all.”

“We’ll figure it all out,” I interject. “You know, not all families live together. But when I’m playing hockey, we’ll definitely still see each other. I’ll make sure of it.”

Alba holds my gaze, like she’s begging me to live up to that promise. The truth is, even though I don’t know what my future holds, I know Jagger is going to be a part of it. I won’t abandon him. I refuse to be anything like my own deadbeat dad.

Jagger accepts our answer with a little nod. I imagine the poor guy has so many questions, but it’s clear that he needs some time to process it all. Heck—we all do.

Alba reaches over to rub his shoulder. “You don’t need to worry. There are a lot of details Easton and I need to sort out. But the important thing is that you have a father who cares about you.”

Jagger’s eyes land on me. “Should I still call you Easton?”

“You get to decide.” My voice cracks on the words. “You get to call me whatever you’d like, okay?”

He considers my answer thoughtfully, sitting there, scratching his head. “Okay. I would like to call you ‘dad’.”

Ah, hell .

“Come here, Buddy,” I say over the rock in my throat.

He scoots up from his seat and meets me halfway. Dropping to my knees, I wrap my arms around him in a tight hug.

I can hear Alba sniffling behind me, even before Jagger looks up at me, saying, “I love you, Dad.”

That’s when I lose it. Those tears I’ve been trying to fight let loose, and that’s how I know I’ll never be the same from here on out.

“I love you, too, son.”