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“Unfortunately, he has chosen to remain at school with his friends for the holiday season.” Sadness briefly crossed her face as she pulled her cloak more tightly around her.

“I was perfectly content to stay in London by myself… until I received a letter from Kitty a couple of days ago and thought it might be lovely to socialize…”

“Except then the reality of the matter pressed in upon you and none of it appealed.” How odd they had that in common.

“Yes.” She nodded. “Where I’ll be the first to admit I am lonely during this time of year and without my son, I’m not certain the answer is to join a house party already in progress.”

“I feel much the same, except I am, unfortunately, the host and therefore must interact to a point.” From his vantage point, he could still see his nieces and nephews chasing each other through the snow.

At least the children enjoyed the weather while he certainly did not.

“I won’t attempt to try and sway your mind.

You can leave if you wish, but I’ll wager traveling here was a wretched trial due to the road conditions and snow. ”

“To be honest, I thought we would be stranded on the road if not the lane leading here more than once.” She glanced past him to the facade of the manor. “Then you believe I should stay here for the duration?”

“At least until the roads clear. Then you can decide.” Had he just committed himself to more heartache? Yes, she’d turned him down thirteen years ago, and yes, she’d married someone else, but that didn’t mean he had a renewed interest in her, did it? Merely for familiarity’s sake?

“And in the meantime?” She met his gaze, and her eyes were now more green than brown. Was she laboring beneath high emotion?

“Try to enjoy yourself?” When she didn’t respond, he frowned. “If you feel you can’t do that because I am in residence, then set yourself at ease. I will avoid your company as best I can.” After all, he would be a nodcock to wish to pursue her again even if she was available.

A frown pulled at the corners of her mouth. “You needn’t do that. In fact, being under the same roof as you is not what is making me uncomfortable.”

“Then what is?”

“Life?” She shrugged and took a few steps along the drive.

“Trying to discover where I fit into this new existence now?” When she snuggled into the folds of the cloak, he opened his mouth to invite her back inside, but tamped on the urge.

“When I came out of mourning, I assumed that I would become a new woman, ready to reenter society and have some semblance of an existence, but instead, it was almost as if I couldn’t make myself leave the house. ”

“Why?” Despite himself, he was curious about her, and how she’d come to this pass. When last he’d known her, she had been an outgoing, vivacious young woman with the world seemingly at her feet. “Are you frightened, miss your husband too much?”

“Frightened? That is difficult to say. Perhaps I am of many things.” Shadows clouded her eyes as she stared at him. “Yet here I am, baring the dark secrets of my soul to a man I used to know once upon a time.”

“Well, isn’t that better than doing so to a stranger?” His attempt at a joke fell flat, and he heaved out a sigh. “At least you know I’ll have discretion.”

“You probably will. Gossip never seems to touch your name.”

There was that.

“I suppose I’ve been desperate to talk to someone, and I couldn’t bear to mention my troubles to Kitty, when she was just beginning her romance.

” She waved a hand as if to dismiss everything.

“I often wonder if I will ever remarry. Since I am only one and thirty, I suppose people will say I still have life ahead of me and that I could start again.”

“But you don’t want that.” Again, it wasn’t a question. Why the devil were they standing out here talking when he was frozen to the bone?

“I don’t know.” She blew out a breath.

“You loved Havelock very much, then?”

“Love?” Her bark of laughter held a bitter edge. “I rather think I gave up on love long ago, for my husband admitted to me when our son was quite young that he’d never truly loved me at all, that his affections lay with his mistress and always would.”

Well, damn.

“I am sorry to hear that. Any man who does that to his wife is beyond the pale.”

“And like a ninny, I believed him, for my head had been turned with his pretty, lying words of how much he loved me .”

“Ah.” With an amazing amount of willpower, he kept his own counsel on the fact that she’d rejected him but then went on to marry a man who’d never loved her at all. But then, he—Edward—hadn’t been in love with her all those years ago.

Had he?

As he’d admitted to himself while talking to Reg a few days ago, there had been no way to tell, but his heart had been bruised, certainly shattered.

For years following that event, he assumed it was because he’d been wildly embarrassed as his name had been thrown into the gossip mill, but as time had continuously marched onward, and he’d had an uncanny ability to connect with a woman beyond the capacity of mistress, he rather suspected he’d cared more for Lady Nancy than he wished to own up to at the time.

Which left him a tad bit terrified himself.

“Also, I am frightened by what I might become if I don’t remarry,” she continued in a desperate whisper as tears welled in her eyes. “What if the second time is as empty and fraught with lies as the first was? Because I can’t, apparently, discern the truth from the dissembling.”

He could no longer stand there as if he were immune to her suffering or keep her out in the cold even if she didn’t seem willing to move.

On his honor as a gentleman, he needed to take care of her.

For that tenuous thread they might have once had for a night in a ballroom so long ago.

“The only thing I can say is that there are no guarantees in this life, and that sometimes, if we want something, we must go forward in faith and hope for the best.”

“Meaning I should just accept whatever is thrown my way lest I spend the remainder of my life alone?”

When a tear fell to her cheek, his chest tightened.

“No, of course not.” Because he might be the nodcock he feared, Edward closed the distance between them and gently gathered her in his arms. For several moments, she resisted, her whole body tensed for flight, but then she uttered a tiny sigh and relaxed into him with her forearms caught between them, resting on his chest. “You are a widow within the beau monde , and that gives you so much freedom over unmarried innocents. There are many avenues open for you.” He hadn’t anticipated how utterly lovely she would feel in his arms or how absurdly the warmth of her called out to him.

But it was the faint scent of lavender that wafted to his nose that had him holding her a smidgeon tighter.

“Hell, if you decided to be wicked and wild, no one would bat an eyelash, because that is your right.”

She uttered an unladylike snort. “I have never been wicked a day in my life.”

“Now that is perhaps the most horrible statement of all,” he said in a whisper and caught himself before he pressed a kiss into her hair. “Are you feeling better after unburdening yourself?”

“Honestly?” Nancy drew back so she could peer up into his face. “I am.”

“Do you wish to remain here for the duration?”

Questions appeared in her eyes, but at least the tears were gone for the moment. “I can’t think of a valid reason why I shouldn’t.” Then a shiver racked her body, and she edged out of his arms. “I apologize for talking so intimately to you.”

“There is no reason for apologies or embarrassment.” When he’d first seen her, he wanted to question her as to why she’d refused him, but now it didn’t matter.

She was simply her just as he was always him.

“Allow me to escort you back into the house. We’ll have tea in the drawing room with my sisters and anyone else who wishes to join, and you can work at putting warmth back into your extremities. ”

For long moments, she studied him before finally nodding. “Thank you, Armestead. I appreciate the latitude.”

“As you said, we are past formalities. Call me Edward if you wish to, but the title is fine as well.” Then he offered her his arm crooked at the elbow.

“Honestly, I shall plant myself by the fireplace and drape an arm casually on the mantle but in reality, I’ll be sucking up the fire’s heat without seeming desperate. ”

When they shared a laugh, some of the walls and thorns around his heart shook and shuddered as if that organ were coming awake after a very long sleep.

“I can’t blame you, and a cup of tea will be most welcome.”

It was a start, but to what he couldn’t venture to say. He only knew he felt slightly different than he had this morning.