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It had been devastating. Everything she’d worked toward, hoped for, believed in had come crashing down around her feet; nothing she did for her husband over the years could sway that affection from his mistress. Not even when they’d lost their other two children.

Had his mother and sisters known? How could they not? Apparently it had been a love match from when he was a green youth, and though she was a member of the ton , she wasn’t part of the beau monde and therefore not considered good enough stock to marry.

By the time her husband had perished in a hunting accident at his country estate while visiting his family—she’d stayed in London that summer with their son—there had been nothing left of their union to try and save.

She’d felt sadness, of course, because he’d been an integral part of her life and had given her three beautiful children, but since there had been no love on his part, and hers for him had dried up early on, it was as if she’d said goodbye to an acquaintance.

The year of mourning had been unfortunate but needed if she were to reset her life.

To add insult to injury, his mistress had called at the townhouse a few days before Nancy was due to travel to the country estate to attend the graveside service. The mistress had offered flowers and condolences, and she’d had the gall to ask if she could pay her respects to him as well.

Granted, the other woman was completely different in the way of looks than Nancy was, and to a point she could see why her husband had been taken with her, but that visit had been outside of enough.

Nancy had been livid at the effrontery and had sent her on her way.

She didn’t care that they’d loved each other—Havelock had been married to her , had promised his love and attention to her .

In the end, he’d lied, and her heart had been broken. That organ now lay well-guarded behind a hedge of thorns, for she didn’t think she could ever trust another man so readily.

What a fool I’ve been.

The snap and crackle of the fire’s flames brought her out of her thoughts. Nancy sighed and looked back at Kitty’s letter. Words jumped out at her on the page.

“…I realize we haven’t made inroads into forming a close friendship, and for that I am quite sad, for I have always found you a lovely person…”

Nancy frowned and turned the page, for the writing had been crossed.

“…come to Armestead Hall and spend the Christmastide holidays with me. We can draw close to each other. I already have three sisters, but what I need is a best friend…”

Because Nancy didn’t trust easily, she wondered at Kitty’s intentions.

They were of an age—she had turned one and thirty two months earlier—and though she’d heard of Kitty’s exploits through the gossip mill, she’d always been rather proud of the young woman’s adherence to chasing the life she wanted , not the one expected of her as an earl’s daughter.

Is such a thing too late for me?

“…I don’t exactly know what happened between you and my brother years ago—I was much too young to even understand, and Mama never told me anything—but if you can bring yourself to ignore Edward’s bluster and blather as I have, I would really like to have you come and spend time…”

So Edward hadn’t told his siblings about their failed engagement before it had ever begun. That was an interesting tidbit. Did that mean she was actively considering going to Armestead Hall?

Once more, she squinted at the letter as she tried her best to puzzle out the crossed handwriting.

“… and it might be fun to watch Edward stumble around in the quest to find a wife. He’s gotten to the age where he’ll need to think of furthering his line and producing an heir.

Quite frankly, I believe he’s not the boorish lout he wishes others around him to see.

After he changed his mind regarding Reginald marrying me, he’s never referred to him as a fool, so I have fond hopes that he might be changing beneath that hardened exterior… ”

Now that was interesting indeed. It had certainly been one of the reasons Nancy herself hadn’t been too fond of the man, but could she put her—their—past aside enough to attend a house party he was hosting?

For long moments, she stared into the fire’s flames, as if they would give her the answers she sought.

In the end, it was the loneliness that made the decision for her.

She hadn’t the heart to entertain since she’d come out of mourning, and at the back of her mind, she feared people would talk about her, remember the gossip that her husband hadn’t loved her at all, that he’d continually carried a torch for his mistress throughout the course of the marriage.

Was she strong enough to bear the brunt of such humiliation?

“… also, there is a secret I want to share with Edward and everyone possibly around Christmas itself, but am a bit terrified about it, and since you are the strongest woman I know, could you please see it in your heart to attend and be at my side when I make this announcement?”

Oh, dear. Nancy could only speculate about what the secret was Kitty wished to share, but if her guess what true, she well remembered what such a thing had felt like. That as well as the unexpected compliment solidified her decision.

She scanned the remainder of the letter then carefully folded it and tucked it back into the envelope.

The rest of the invitations she tossed into the fireplace.

Well, if she could manage to avoid the earl for the bulk of the house party, that would be for the best, but she wouldn’t mind the company or mingling with others.

Traditionally, the Christmastide season had been one of her favorite holidays of the year, but she hadn’t felt like celebrating for more years than she could count.

It was time to usher in a change. Not perhaps for another romance but perhaps to find her footing in society and being with people again. If her son could socialize and put the past behind him, then so could she.

With that resolve in mind, Nancy crossed the room and yanked on the gold brocade bell pull. When Farnsworth shuffled into the room, she smiled. “I have decided to attend a Christmastide house party in Hertsfordshire. I’ll need to have this house put on notice that I won’t be here for the holidays.”

“Very good, my lady. When do you expect to leave?”

“I would say day after tomorrow. I’m already late to the party as it is, so another couple of days won’t matter.” And best of all? Since it was just herself going, if she became too bored or couldn’t stomach being in the earl’s company, she could always come back to London.

“I will see to it that the traveling coach is ready and there is sufficient horseflesh to pull it,” Farnsworth said with a nod. “I hope the weather clears for your travels.”

“As do I. While I do enjoy watching the snow fall, I won’t enjoy being stranded in it should the coach find itself stuck.

” Despite the dangers of wintertime travel, she felt more like herself than she had in far too long.

How odd that the prospect of a house party would have cheered her.

As she reminded herself that she wasn’t yet old and worthy of being a widow put on a shelf, Nancy moved past him into the corridor with the letter still in her hand.

“No time like the present to start the packing, hmm?”