Page 18

Christmas Eve night

Edward’s nerves felt strung far too tight and knots of the same pulled in his gut. Why the hell was he so affected? It wasn’t as if he didn’t know Nancy, yet he meant to secure his future—their future—together, and when he’d hoped to do that thirteen years ago, she’d rejected him.

What if history repeated itself? What if he were to lose her a second time? And if he did this night, it would hurt worse than before, because he was unapologetically most decidedly in love with her this time.

Yet the drawing room, decorated for Christmastide, encouraged him to smile in appreciation.

A large wreath hung on the wall over the fireplace.

A red velvet ribbon had been threaded into the dark green evergreen boughs.

Matching swags had been tacked above the windows and sat on the sills as well as the fireplace mantel.

Tin bells, glass balls, and oranges studded with cloves had been strategically placed within the greenery to lend the room the pungent, spicy scent he associated with this time of year.

On a small round table, the Bavarian tree rested in a box, anchored with dirt from outside.

Someone had come in and decorated it with the same bells and balls, but they’d added strung popcorn and reddish berries as well as ribbons, seed pearls on strings and fastened small white candles to some of the branches.

No doubt when lit, it would prove magical.

Perhaps this time of year isn’t that horrid.

After the bulk of the house party went out in sleighs or walked to the village church in order to attend midnight services, he had gone up to his bedchamber to retrieve a small box, and as he entered the drawing room, the long case clock in the corridor outside chimed half past eleven.

Was he ready? Could he take the risk? Needing something to occupy his time while he waited, Edward moved over to the fireplace.

He stoked the wood within, added another log and watched the flames lick at it.

Then he dusted off his hands. Heat plowed through his form, whether due to nerves or the fire itself.

With a muted curse, he removed his superfine jacket, for he’d had ample time to change out of his tailcoat and evening attire.

Still not comfortable, he wrenched off his gloves and cravat then tossed them to a nearby chair where his jacket had landed.

“Edward?”

Bloody hell, she’s here.

He turned away from contemplating the flames in the fireplace.

“Nancy.” She wore the red and gold gown she’d had from the ball, and an abstract part of his brain was thrilled, for she was the personification of Christmastide in that gown.

“I am glad you’re here. To be honest, I wasn’t certain you would come.

” As he met her in the middle of the room, he caught her briefly in his arms and bussed her cheek.

“I promised I would.” When she smiled, his world tilted, and he tumbled into those brown-green pools of her eyes. “I have a gift for you.” She held up a small leather pouch. “I hope you like it.”

His chest tightened that she would have thought of him.

“How could I not? And I have one for you.” It sat in his waistcoat pocket.

“Give me one moment to close the door.” His pulse pounded as he raced across the floor.

Once he closed the double doors and locked them both, a bit of his anxiety faded.

At least they wouldn’t be interrupted. Then he joined her once more and slipped an arm about her waist. “Would you join me?”

“Yes. I am interested in why you wished to see me.” As she peered up into his face, questions lingered in her eyes. “You were far too mysterious on the terrace.”

“I suppose I was. Partially because I haven’t been myself this past week.

” After he’d led her to a low sofa with a high back to one side of the fireplace, he settled her onto the mauve brocade cushion.

The back of the piece of furniture was to the door and would provide another layer of privacy in the event someone did come in.

After he seated himself next to her, he blew out a breath.

How to begin this conversation that might—hopefully—change his life? “I… That is to say, we…”

Nancy rested a hand on his arm as she turned toward him. “Perhaps we should start with exchanging gifts.”

“Good idea.” It would give him a few more moments to contemplate his next words.

“I shall start.” Then she handed him the small leather pouch. “I kept this all these years because I couldn’t bear to give it away or pawn it. Truly, I’d forgotten about it.”

“Oh?” How intriguing. When he tugged the strings loose then dumped the item into his palm, he stared, shocked. It was a silver pocket watch chain.

“When I was packing my trunk in preparation for this party, I discovered it again, stuck in the lining. It brought back memories, for I’d thought to give it to you the night you proposed, but…

” With a sigh, Nancy shook her head. “However, after spending the past handful of days with you…. Well, I …. Er, this belongs to you. I don’t want it anymore.

” She closed his fingers around the cold chain.

He frowned. “Because it reminds you of me, or of other times that are not so savory?”

“Not any longer.” Sadness reflected in her eyes, but there was something else there he didn’t dare to name. “It reminds me of you, yes, but now I view it as a sign of a life well lived, of hope.”

“Thank you. I will attach it to my watch tomorrow morning.” With a hard swallow, he looked at him.

“Hope.” Emotions battered his insides. “Oddly, I have had that same thing since you came back into my life.” He pressed his lips together as fear twisted down his spine.

If he didn’t say his piece now, he never would, and that meant he wouldn’t have the future he wanted.

“Ah, Nancy.” Then he fished out the small rectangle box from his waistcoat pocket.

“You aren’t the only one who has hung onto a piece of the past.” He gave her the box that had been tied with a bit of twine. “For whatever reason.”

“Oh?” Her delicate fingers tugged at the twine.

“Yes.” Edward nodded. “I had planned on giving this to you that long ago summer night, as an engagement gift, but then you rejected me. I thought my heart had quit beating right there outside the ballroom.”

Please don’t do that to me again.

“I’m so sorry.” When she opened the box, she gasped, and tears filled her eyes. “It’s beautiful.” When she plucked the silver, oval-shaped locket from the box, she laid it on her palm to stare at it. A tiny sapphire winked from the ornate front of the piece.

“That locket belonged to my mother. When she died, it became part of the estate, but I’d always thought it pretty, knew it should be yours from the moment I met you.”

“You are so thoughtful and romantic.” Nancy brushed at a tear that fell to her cheek. When she eased the trinket open, tears overflowed onto her cheeks. “Oh, Edward.”

It wasn’t exactly the response he’d hoped for when preparing the gift. Inside the locket, he’d folded two tiny scraps of paper. One said, “Will you…” The other one said “…marry me?”

“Are you serious?” When she looked up at him from the locket, he nodded.

“We made mistakes in the past, didn’t take the chances when we should have.

” For the space of a few heartbeats, he paused, thinking over his next words.

“I don’t want to waste any more.” Then, feeling further inspired, he put the pouch and the chain on the sofa, removed himself from that piece of furniture, and kneeled on one knee before her.

“What are you doing?” Shock wove through her whispered inquiry as she watched him.

“Something I should have done a long time ago.” The candlelight winked and glimmered from about the room and reflected in her eyes.

“I love you, Nancy. Perhaps I always have and carried that tiny hope in my heart in the hopes I would cross your path again.” Daring much, he took her free hand in his.

“Because of you, I know what it’s like to love someone, to give my heart to someone, to trust and hope. To dream.”

“Oh, I…”

He nodded. “To possibly share a life with.”

“Dear heavens, this is unexpected and romantic.” Her hands trembled as she snapped the locket closed. “I don’t know what to say that won’t make me seem like a silly goose.”

The words tugged a grin from him. “Say you’ll make me the happiest of men, that you’ll marry me so we can finally have the life we should have long ago before pride, arrogance, and prejudice got in the way.”

Another tear fell to her cheek. Her eyes rounded, but she smiled, and his world tipped onto its head. “What about me? Do you want me to be the happiest of women?”

“Well, yes, of course,” he hastened to say. His heart felt as if it would burst if she didn’t answer him. “Are you happy without me? If you are, then by all means, we will pretend none of this happened, and I—”

“Edward.”

“Hmm?” His brain refused to process what was happening.

“Yes, I will marry you, because I love you to distraction. I have only just discovered that truth, and like you, I have loved you for years, but I thought it was because I was so unhappy in my marriage, that perhaps I’d looked at the past more fondly than it had been.

” She shook her head as she stared at the locket.

“Over the years, I know that wasn’t true.

Each time my son did something wonderful, or when I lost my other two children, at the back of my mind I wondered how you would have counseled me, how you would have supported me, how you would have loved me and been there with me to see me through. ”

“Where your husband never did.” Gratitude slammed through his chest to mingle with the anger toward the dead man as well as the tiny bit of fear he still felt.

“Yes.