Page 42 of Silver Linings

twenty-five

. . .

I wake to soft snores trilling lightly in my ear.

Silver and I fell asleep shortly after our shower last night, thoroughly wrecked from sex so unbelievable, we had to do it again in the shower to make sure it wasn’t a fluke—for science.

Then again in the middle of the night, when we were pulled toward each other like magnets, bodies connecting lazily until we writhed against each other, racing to that final pinnacle.

Then, she kissed me softly, and we fell back asleep, tangled in each other.

But the more I lay here, watching her chest rise and fall, a light buzzing of fear bubbles to the surface.

I don’t want her to feel pressured into this—into us.

I want her to choose to be here, in this with me.

She could wake up in five minutes and decide she had satiated a curiosity and wanted to move on.

Everything said and done last night could be chalked up to being caught up in a moment.

Maybe it’s my own insecurities rising, or maybe there’s merit to it.

I know in my bones what she is to me, but am I the same to her?

Fuck, I hope so.

I’m desperate with that hope, and last night only solidified what I already knew: I’m in love with her, so painstakingly in love with her that everything in life would now pale in comparison to the magnitude of what I feel for her.

She was incandescent, bright and blinding like a star, too great for this world to contain.

In every survival class our parents made us take as kids, they would always say if you got lost to look for the brightest star to guide you home.

Silver is my North Star, guiding me with her light even when I couldn’t see I was in the dark.

I would follow her anywhere, go on any adventure, if she would have me.

Because that’s what every day with her has been: an adventure.

I was finally living , not just existing, for the first time in years. Maybe ever.

Silver moves next to me, shifting to snuggle deeper into my chest, draping her leg over the top of my thigh. “You’re surprisingly comfortable for someone who’s hard as a brick wall,” she mumbles into my bare skin before placing a soft kiss to my chest, never opening her eyes.

The small brush of her lips makes my cock twitch behind my sweats, and I urge it to lay low, to give her some space.

I hum in response and rub my thumb softly over where it’s now settled against her spine.

She sighs, and a delicate smile curls her mouth at the corners as I stroke a lazy pattern up and down her vertebrae.

Silver stirs against me, bringing her hand up and placing it on my stomach, then settles.

I tell my body to calm down; she’s just getting comfortable, and there’s no reason to get turned on.

Until she does it again, fingers trailing even lower on my stomach, rubbing against me like a cat.

Only this time she doesn’t still, she keeps up her teasing, making my breath hitch as the tips of her fingers slip into my sweatpants just enough to lightly graze under the band of my briefs.

I clench my jaw, letting her take the lead, seeing what happens in the early morning hours of the day.

Silver dives her hand deeper under my clothes until her fingers toy with the tip of my cock, and I suck in a sharp breath.

“Sunshine…” I don’t know if I’m admonishing her or begging her to keep going.

“Hmmm?” She fully grabs me now, giving me a teasing tug.

My hips jolt upwards off the bed as I groan, and I grab her bare hip, squeezing onto her to keep me grounded, or else I might float away on a cloud of bliss.

She keeps up her teasing, bringing her hand to my tip and using the pre-cum beading at the end to lubricate my shaft, getting me worked up and wet.

Then, she sits up, my hand falling from where I clutched her, and swings a leg over so she’s straddling me.

My NYU t-shirt she wore to bed hangs loose on her frame, pooling at the apex of her thighs.

Reaching both hands between us, Silver grabs my pants and starts to tug. I lift my hips to give her space to shuck them down far enough so I can kick them off the rest of the way. I know where this is leading, but I want to hear her say it. I need to hear her words.

“Silver?” I sit up on my elbow and catch her eyes. Is she okay this morning? Is this what she really wants, or a deflection from how she’s feeling?

“I’ve never woken up next to someone after sex before. I’ve never wanted to.” She shifts her body so she’s hovering over my cock now, and I can feel the warmth of her blanketing me.

She brings me between her folds, rubbing me through them so I can feel how wet she is for me.

“Fuck. I’m trying to stay focused on what you’re saying, sweetheart, but you’re making it really hard,” I groan at the feeling of her coating me, my shaft slick with our combined arousal as she rocks back and forth, soft, breathy moans falling from her lips.

We must paint such a picture, her in my lap, sheets tangled around us, sweat glistening against our skin as she leans forward and brings her forehead to mine. Silver reaches down and lines me up, lifting on her knees to put distance between the middle of our bodies.

“I wanted to wake up next to you,” she says and sinks down onto my cock until I’m fully sheathed inside her tight heat. We both shudder from the unmatched euphoria of being joined like this. “I felt… peace , waking up in your arms.”

I sit up and band my arms around her body in a vice grip, telling her without words that I don’t ever want to let go. She starts to rock against me, and I glide my mouth down her neck, lightly sucking and nipping at the flesh.

She starts to lift off me, only to bring herself back down over and over again. She cries out at the friction of her clit hitting my pubic bone, helping bring her that much closer to the release we both crave.

“It’s too good.” A husky admission when her voice is still groggy from sleep.

I piston my hips up into her. “The way you’re gripping me is driving me insane.”

She curls her body against mine, chest to chest, arms snaking around my neck, not allowing a single inch of space between us as we bring our bodies together, too lost for any more words.

Pulling my hand from around her waist, I trail my palm up her torso, over her breast to settle it around her neck.

Goosebumps materialize over her skin in the wake of my touch.

I pull her in for a kiss, tongue licking into her mouth before I pull back and look deeply into her sea-foam eyes, hair wild around her face.

“Open,” I command.

The inherent trust she puts in me as she opens her mouth without hesitation is almost enough for me to finish. My hand coasts from its home on her neck, up to her jaw, gently cupping before I move on to trace her lips with my fingers.

I dip my index and middle fingers inside her mouth. “Suck.” Her eyes blaze and she immediately complies, sucking on them with enthusiasm, making my cock jerk inside of her. We both groan. “Perfect. You’re so fucking perfect.”

She’s writhing, fucking herself onto me as I pull my fingers out of her mouth.

“ Fuck ,” she whines in my ear. “More, I need more of you. Fuck me— fill me ,” she pleads.

“I think I like it when you beg.” Silver tugs hard on my hair in retaliation, but doesn’t stop her movements.

I’m gripping her hip with my other hand, helping her move against me as I glide my free hand, soaked with her spit, down her back until it’s settled on her ass.

I press my fingers against the tight ring of muscle at her backside—barely breaching, and adding just enough pressure to add to her pleasure as I bite down on her neck once more, pounding in and out of her tight, wet heat.

She explodes around me in an instant, her walls contracting around my cock so viscerally, I follow her orgasm with my own, roaring out in pleasure. I pump into her slowly as we ride out our releases, still clinging to each other, neither one of us ready to let go.

We stay locked together like that for an unknown amount of time, and only when the sweat on our bodies starts to dry and cool our skin do we reluctantly disentangle ourselves.

But neither of us moves very far, laying back down on my bed, my arm around her and her head resting on my chest, content in our silence.

She starts lightly tracing my newest tattoo, the one that spans from the top of my thigh, over my hip, and onto my torso. “A phoenix,” she states, taking in all its intricate lines—the tail that curls down my hip to the wings that stretch high above its head and onto my side. “It’s beautiful.”

I place a kiss on her nose. “Do you have to work today?”

Please say no. Stay with me all day. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to be around you.

She shakes her head. “I’m meeting Kena later at Brooklyn Flea. He needs a lot of things for a project and I promised to go with him.”

I try not to be disappointed. I see her all the time because of the arrangement with the store, but going a day without her after what we just did feels wrong.

She props her chin on my stomach and looks over at me, hair wild around her like a crown of gold. “Will you come with me?”

My insides crack, fizzle, and pop. I bring my hand up to cup her neck, fingers scoring through her hair to rub at her scalp. She sighs and closes her eyes. “Yeah, baby, I’ll come with you.”

“You must be ingesting too many fumes from all the cabs if you think I’m paying that price,” Kena shouts at a vendor.

We arrived ten minutes ago to find him haggling with a salesman selling antique wardrobe chests.

We stood back to watch as he wore the man down harder than tires on a racecar.

When he noticed us standing fifteen paces away, watching slack jawed, he came bounding over, a gleaming smile stretched across his face as he threw his arms around us both.