Page 4 of Silver Linings

“I tried to be nice, but you clearly didn’t want to extend that same courtesy.

Therefore I’ll give you the same respect you’ve given me.

Not every book is going to be a winner, and that won’t be solved by you coming in here and trying to demean and bully me.

” I push the book back towards him, and his face flushes with anger.

“There’s a little free library around the corner if you’d like to donate it on your way out.

” It’s the nicest way I can possibly say get out .

“This is absolutely preposterous,” he spits out.

“She asked you nicely to leave, so leave.” I swing towards the door at the sound of that voice. All five foot one of Pat’s tiny, imposing frame stands in the entrance, ready to rain down hellfire.

“Who the hell are you to tell me to leave?” he spits.

“Well, Jim, I’m glad you asked.” Here we go.

“My name isn’t?—”

Pat cuts him off. “I don’t give a bumble fuck of a care, Jim.

” She tips her head in my direction. “My girl here was being nice because she’s trying to be professional at work, but as the owner, I have no such compunction when you treat my staff as if they’re below you.

” She walks over to the cash wrap. “Take your copy of…” she grabs the book he’s been trying to return off the counter and shoves it at his chest, “ Eat, Pray, Love , and get the hell out of my store.” She yanks his arms, turns his body around, and gives him a light push in the direction of the door.

“Absolute legend,” Carmen whispers, awestruck.

Pat doesn’t visit the store often. She usually just leaves us to run it because she trusts us to get things done the way she likes.

The unexpected visit puts me a bit on edge.

Well, that, and because I just promised Carmen I would talk to Pat about renovating the store the next time I saw her.

I just didn’t expect that day to be today .

Carmen sidles up next to me as Pat walks around the store a bit.

“Now’s your chance! Go talk to her about all our plans.” She turns me toward the matriarch of Brownstone Books and gives me an encouraging slap on the ass. I don’t even make it two steps forward before Pat faces us.

“Girls, we need to talk.”

“What do you mean, you’re selling the store?” I shout.

“I’m sorry, kid. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I’m tired, and if I’m being honest, there are months we aren’t breaking even. I want to sell and use the money to retire somewhere warmer.” Her voice has gone uncharacteristically gentle.

I’ve been stunned into silence. I never expected this… though I’m not sure why I didn’t. Pat is in her early seventies. Of course, she would eventually want to live a quieter life. I just don’t think I ever thought she would. She’s such a force, someone who likes to be busy.

Oh God, I’m starting to spiral. What am I going to do? This place is like home to me, and now, it was going to be sold and turned into something else—probably a bagel shop or a Dunkin. As if we don’t have one every couple of blocks already. I shudder at the thought.

“I know this place means a lot to you, but I’ve got more wild oats to sow…in Bermuda.”

I drop my head, trying to remember to breathe, when Carmen puts a hand on my back, rubbing in soothing circles.

I feel like I should be comforting her. She really needs this job; it’s what pays her bills, but more importantly, it gives her extra time she needs to study when we have downtime.

She wouldn’t get that additional time working at most other places.

I can’t let this happen.

“I’ve arranged severance packages for the three of you. I’m planning on putting the space up for sale soon, but I wanted to give you guys time to make other plans?—”

“I’ll buy it.” I rip my head up, making it go a little light.

Nothing has ever sounded as quiet as the store does right now.

“What?” Pat asks calmly just before Carmen screams, “WHAT?”

“I want to buy the bookstore from you,” I say resolutely.

With every second, I feel more and more confident that this is the right decision—albeit a reckless one.

“Silver…that’s kind of a big decision, and a costly one at that. I’m not sure you could afford it on what I’ve been paying you.” There’s a look of pity in her eyes, the kind a person gives you when they wish something wasn’t true but they know they can’t do anything to change it.

“What are you, a secret Rockefeller? Ay dios mio, all this time we’ve been working together, and I never knew you’re loaded. To think, every time I brought crap coffee from the bodega, I could’ve asked you to bring me the good stuff from your fancy spot.” Carmen sighs dramatically.

“I do bring you coffee—quite frequently.”

“Yes, well…Now I know I could’ve pimped you out for muffins too.” She sighs wistfully. “It’s always the missed opportunities in life that hurt the most.”

I’m belly laughing now, twisting to look over at Pat. I sober immediately under her assessing gaze. She looks confused as she stares at me, and I realize I just got momentarily distracted from the fact that I offered to buy the bookstore two minutes ago. Holy shit, I must be certifiably insane.

“What are you talking about, Silver?” The tone in her voice is soft, quizzical.

Here goes nothing. I straighten my spine and imbue my voice with a confidence I don’t quite feel yet.

“When my dad passed away, I got a pretty sizable life insurance sum.” I can tell I have their attention now, and even though I hate talking about this, I take a deep breath and continue.

“He had arranged for it to be transferred to a trust in my name to accrue interest and become accessible to me upon my twenty-first birthday. Because I was privileged enough to receive scholarships for college and was living in my nan’s apartment, I haven’t had a reason to cash out. ”

I can feel my throat getting a little tight, and I clear it with a cough to force my emotions back down, not wanting them to see my soft underbelly. Darting my eyes to the right, I see Carmen looking at me with softness lining her eyes before looking away.

“Anyway, I’ve built up a lot and haven’t had anything to use it on.

I want to use it on this. Let me buy the store.

I love this place.” I look around the shop, taking in the too-close-together shelves, the broken stairs leading to the long-unused second level, and the hundreds of books spanning all genres.

I bring my hand to my heart. “I was going to talk to you about making changes to the store anyway—giving it a fresh look, cultivating our inventory, and building community here. I think I can do it, Pat. I know I can do it.”

She’s quiet for what feels like an eternity.

She just stares and stares at me until I feel like I’m going to melt into the floor from mortification.

Did I really think she would just sell me her shop because I made a heartfelt speech?

This is her life’s work; she probably wants someone who is a safer bet, not a twenty-eight year old she’s known since she was a teenager.

Fuck, I’m sweating everywhere from this extended silence and scrutiny. A river is forming under my ti–

“Okay,” Pat says succinctly.

“Okay?” I parrot. “Like okay, I’ll sell you the bookstore, or okay, you’ve lost your mind, and I’m calling psych for an eval?”

“Don’t be so melodramatic, Silver.” Her eyes are narrowed, but there’s a fondness in her voice she’s working to mask.

“Let’s set up a meeting this week to talk about it and go through the financial aspect.

I’d rather sell to you than some half-wit who will turn it into some sort of mini gallery dedicated to erotic sculptures. ”

“Let’s not be too hasty. That sounds fun too,” Carmen interjects.

Pat snorts and looks over at me. “Does Wednesday morning sound good to go over things?”

“Yes, perfect.”

With that settled, Pat gives us a nod and walks out the door, leaving me absolutely stunned.

“Oh my God,” Carmen squeals, jumping up and down.

“Oh my God,” I mimic while trying not to throw up.

Later that night, long after the initial shock wore off, I’m walking into my building, thinking about all the documents I’ll need to gather before my meeting in a couple days.

“You alright, sweetheart?”

I look over to see Tony by the mailroom, organizing some of the packages that haven’t been picked up yet. I give him a tired smile. “I’m alright, Tony. It was just a long, bizarre day. Nothing that a glass of wine the size of my bathtub won’t fix.”

“Just let me know if there’s anything you need.”

“Such a mother hen.” I cluck my tongue.

I hit the call button and wait for the car to descend from one of the higher floors.

As I’m waiting, I hear a shuffle to my left and look down the hallway leading to some offices and the emergency stairwell.

I catch the last second of someone walking through a door.

I could have sworn it was him , but there’s no way.

It’s just my mind conjuring up an incredibly tall, incredibly sexy man to soothe my anxiety over the day’s excitement.

Later, when I’m freshly showered and in bed, my mind oscillates between three things:

Holy shit, I’m about to own my own bookstore.

I have got to find my mystery man again and get him out of my system.

Has that spot on my ceiling always been there, and why does it look puffy?