Page 33

CHAPTER 33

KOA

JACKSON

“O ooo, I want that one,” I say as I tap the glass of the display case. Fern, who is officially now my new best friend— move aside Clay— grabs the ring and sets it on the counter. Picking it up, I do my best to squint, turning the two fuzzy rings into one mostly clear one. It’s a black tungsten band with dark wood inlay.

“The wood actually comes from the Hawaiian islands,” Fern explains. “It’s Koa wood. Many native warriors used to use this wood to make their weapons, and now it’s a widely used symbol for strength.” She looks between Theo and I, and a knowing smile takes over her face. “The word Koa directly translates to ‘warrior.’ I can tell, sweetie, that’s you.”

“Yeah,” Theo says softly, and I look over at him. “It is.”

The two of us stare at one another for what feels like an eternity, when suddenly, the doors to the chapel burst open and a man in a tuxedo T-shirt who’s carrying his new bride comes barreling out.

“Alright, dolls!” Fern claps her hands together. “You’re up!” She places two glasses on the counter before filling them with a mystery amber liquid. “I have everything I need from you two, and I’ll charge the rings to the card you used for the license. Tip ‘em back, and go get yourselves married!”

Theo and I each grab our glasses. “What’s one more?” he asks with a smile a mile wide.

? * We down our shots before grabbing each other’s rings and stuffing them in our pockets. “Come Fly With Me” by Michael Bublé starts playing over the speakers, and Theo and I take that as our cue to lock arms. The two of us walk down the red and gold aisle, giggling like school girls the entire way.

“Well, well, well,” Elvis, my new new best friend— sorry, Fern— says as we reach the alter. “Aren’t you two good-looking young men? You fellas ready to”—he moves his hips back and forth just like Elvis would have in Mama Catherine’s dreams, and ohmygod wait until she hears Elvis married me, she’s going to be so excited! —“get hitched?”

Theo hiccups. “We sure are, Mr. Elvis Presley!”

? * “Perfect! Hit it, Fern.” The music changes to a soft version of Elvis’ “It’s Now or Never,” and he starts the service. Slowly, Theo and I thread our fingers together, and I can’t help but notice that I don’t feel even the teensiest, tiniest bit of nervousness or hesitation. And I mean sure, that could, maybe, possibly, have a little something to do with all the drinking but, if Mr. Jose Cuervo is what it took to get us here, I’ll be sure to send him our first Christmas card. “We are gathered here today to witness the union of”—Elvis looks up at the TV screen to our left where there’s a que of all the couples in line—“Theodore and Jackson.” Theo gently squeezes my hand. “This special occasion marks the beginning of their life as a married couple…”

Elvis continues to speak as Theo leans in to whisper something in my ear. And just as I think he’s going to say something sweet or romantic he says, “I thought Elvis was going to be better looking.”

I snort a laugh. Mr. Presley notices but doesn’t stop his speech. He’s getting paid regardless. “You know that this isn’t the real Elvis, right?”

This time Theo snorts. “Yes. Wait… yeah I know he’s not the real Elvis.”

“You may now face each other,” Mr. Elvis Presley says, and Theo and I do as he says. “Do you, Jackson, take Theodore to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for richer or for poorer, as long as you both shall live?”

“Yup! Sure do!” I announce, practically bouncing on the balls of my feet.

“And do you, Theodore, take Jackson to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in?—”

“Yes,” Theo answers eagerly, looking me dead in the eye. His stare suddenly feeling far more intense than it has since that waitress brought us our first shot. I swallow harshly as his thumb brushes along the back of my hand.

“Well alright! Rings?”

Letting go of one hand, Theo and I reach in our pockets and pull out one another’s rings. “Jackson, you’re first.” I grab Theo’s left hand and hold his ring between his fingers. “Repeat after me. Theodore Young, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love today, tomorrow, always, and forever.”

Oh shit, that’s a long one.

I slide the ring on Theo’s finger, look him in the eyes and say, “Theodore Young, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love today, tomorrow, always, and forever.”

Theo lets out a shaky breath as Elvis nods at him and says, “Now you. Jackson Baker, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love today, tomorrow, always, and forever.”

Theo grabs my hand and slowly slides the black ring over my finger, and so calmly, like he’s the soberest he’s been in his entire life, repeats, “Jackson Baker, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love today, tomorrow, always, and forever.”

“Before these witnesses, you have pledged to be joined in marriage. By the authority vested in me by the great state of Nevada, and the power of rock and roll, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your hunk of burning love.”

Theo grabs the sides of my face and crashes his mouth to mine. I let out a deep moan as the taste of him coats my tongue. And when the thought of “holy shit, I’m kissing my husband” flashes through my mind, I feel as if I could melt right into this beer stained carpet.

? * “Viva Las Vegas” begins to blare through the chapel, and Theo and I manage to pull our lips from one another. The two of us stand there, staring at each other breathlessly. Then, in a tone barely audible above the music, he asks, “Does this officially make me a cougar?”

“It sure as shit does, Mr. Young.”

“Come on boys, I’ve got marriage certificates for you to sign!” Fern yells from the lobby.

“Ready, husband?” I ask Theo.

“So fucking ready, husband.”

* ? Come Fly With Me - Michael Bublé

* ? It’s Now or Never - Elvis

* ? Viva Las Vegas - Elvis