Page 21

CHAPTER 21

FAMILY MATTERS

JACKSON

“I really wish your brother could have come home longer. It was nice having all four of you here for a while,” Mom says as she sits on my bed while I pack my bag. ? * Every time I put a piece of clothing in, she takes it out, refolds it, and puts it back.

Emerson only came home for a few weeks at the beginning of August. He got an internship in Pensacola this summer to work at a newspaper and didn’t want to pass up the opportunity. They allowed each of the interns to take off for two weeks over the summer to give them each a chance to visit family before the school year started back up. It was like someone sawed off my mother’s arm the second he drove out of the driveway.

“What? Me, Bryson, and Grayson aren’t enough? We all know he’s your favorite, Mom.” I’m only poking fun, but her mouth opens in shock.

“Jackson James Baker!” She throws the shirt in her hand at me, and I tip my head back in laughter. “I love you all equally. Just… in different ways.”

“That’s what parents say when they have a favorite.” She rolls her eyes, and I ball up the shirt she threw at my head and put it back in my open suitcase.

She, of course, takes it out and refolds it.

Patting the bed next to her, she says, “Why don’t you come sit next to me for a minute?”

I’ve seen that look on her face a million times, and I know I don’t have the option to say no. She’s about to give me one of her famous “talks.” Relenting, I make myself comfortable on the bed next to her. “How are you feeling about this year?”

“Honestly, I feel good. I’m excited to be able to play, and my knee feels better than ever.”

She chuckles softly. “Your dad really put you to work this summer, didn’t he?”

I shrug. “It’s okay. It was the best form of rehab. I needed it.”

“And school? You think you’ll do okay with these classes? I know they’re pretty difficult?”

“Mom.” I give her my best “don’t be ridiculous” face. “You know I have never had an issue with school. I could probably teach most of my classes.”

She rolls her eyes dramatically, but she knows I’m not wrong. It may sound cocky, but I’m the smartest person I know.

And I don’t even mean to be a douche when I say that.

It’s just facts.

Mom’s face softens, and she reaches up and brushes a strand of hair from my forehead. We all have the same hair color as Dad; she’s always loved playing with it. Our eyes though, they’re all hers. “You look good, Baby.”

“I feel good, Mom.”

Her eyes search mine for a moment before she says, “You didn’t when you got here.”

I knew she noticed. Dad did too. There’s no use in denying it. “I know.”

“Do you want to tell me?”

I think about it for a moment. I think about how good it would feel to tell her everything, and for her to tell me everything is going to be okay and wrap me up in her arms. But, I know it would only upset her. And for the first time in months… I know everything is going to be okay. I feel good. I feel like myself. And it’s because of this place. Because of them. My family. So, I just smile and shake my head. “No. I’m okay, Mom. Really. I promise.”

She studies my face for a second, trying to decipher if I’m telling the truth or not. Taking me for my word she places her palm on my face and strokes the pad of her thumb along my cheekbone. “Alright, Baby.” Leaning forward, she kisses my forehead softly.

Suddenly, tears sting at my eyes, and I have to close them for a split second. Because I realize that, while I may not have the love of a romantic partner, I do have a deep and profound love. It’s in them. In my mom, my dad, and even my brothers. Nothing could ever compare to the love I have for them. It’s a love not all families have. Hell, I’ve seen a family firsthand that doesn’t have an ounce of what we have, and it has tormented my best friend for most of his life. So, while I may crave the love of a partner, I know that this will always be here waiting for me.

Mom looks at me a moment longer before clapping her hands together. “Alright, let’s get the rest of this packed up.”

“I’d be done by now if you’d stop refolding everything.”

“Don’t you start,” she says with a wink, and we both go about packing up my things.

Half an hour later, all of my clothes, and hopes for next year, are packed into my bags and loaded into Dad’s truck.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner, Baby?” We hear a shout followed by what sounds like a herd of elephants coming down the stairs. Mom turns around, and I look over her head to find the twins sprinting for the front door.

“Mom!” Bryson shouts. “Tell Grayson he can’t go out with Jessie!”

“It’s not my fault she asked me out first. Maybe next time you’ll grow some balls and?—”

“Boys!” Mom claps her hands at them.

“Who is Jessie?” I ask only loud enough for Mom to hear.

She sighs in exhaustion. “A girl in the class above them.”

“Oooo, upperclassman. Nice.”

I high-five both of them over Mom’s head, and she backhands me in the stomach. “Don’t encourage them. Are you sure you can’t just stay here and help me deal with these two? I don’t know if I’ll make it until they go to college.”

“Hey!” Grayson groans.

“If they go to college,” I mumble under my breath.

“Hey!” Bryson repeats.

I laugh and look at my brothers. “Look, as much as it sucks, if she asked Grayson out first he has every right to go with her.” A smug look crosses Grayson’s face. “But, if you knew Bryson liked her and you said yes anyway that’s something you’re going to have to deal with.” Bryson crosses his arms and looks over at Grayson. “Buuuuut, if you wanted to ask her out you should have. Don’t punish him because you were a chickenshit.”

The two of them stare at me for what feels like an eternity before sighing heavily and storming away. Not even bothering to tell me goodbye.

Mom laughs and faces me. “They’ll figure it out,” I tell her with a smile.

“They might just destroy my house in the process,” she groans as Dad walks in the front door.

“Alright, let’s get a move on. I wanna be back for supper. Mom’s making meatloaf.”

“Not again,” the twins moan in unison from the living room.

Mom rolls her eyes. Again. I kiss her on the cheek one last time. “I love you, Momma.”

“I love you too, Baby. Fly safe and text me when you get to the airport.”

“I will.” I smile at her and follow Dad out the front door.

“And when you land,” she yells through the screen.

I round the truck and yell back, “I will.”

“Oh, and when you get to your house!”

“Mom,” I say with a laugh.

“Honey,” Dad says through the driver’s side window. “Would you let your poor boy get in the truck?”

“Yes, right. I love you.”

I climb into the truck and look out Dad’s window. “I love you too,” we say in perfect unison before driving away.

“You might as well just give her a play-by-play until you go to sleep tonight,” Dad says as we pull out of the driveway.

I look out of my window as we pass the ranch and smile to myself, feeling both excited and ready to get this year started, and sad at the thought of leaving home. But how lucky am I to have a home that I feel sad to leave. So I repeat the same words I told Mom, “I will.”

* * *

“Emerson,” I groan as I close the fridge. “Do we not have any food in this entire house?”

I’ve been traveling all day, and I’m fucking starving.

He doesn’t stop whatever article he’s writing on his laptop. He just shrugs and says, “I’ve either been at work or I’ve been at Dom’s. I’ve barely been here all summer.”

Should have figured .

“Fine. I’ll go to the store tomorrow. Write a list of what you want,” I tell him as I walk through the living room.

“Got it,” he replies. Again, not looking up from his computer.

As I walk past him I reach down and hit the spacebar a bunch of times on his laptop, and he slaps my hand away. “Would you fuck off?”

Laughing, I bend over and give him an obnoxious wet kiss on the top of his head. “God, I missed you.”

“Jackson,” he seethes, and I laugh all the way upstairs.

It’s only when I get to my room that I realize, not once did I look out the front window and across the street.

And that in itself feels… really fucking nice.

* ? You're Gonna Go Far - Noah Kahan