Page 16

CHAPTER 16

B&E, BOOKS, AND BLOWIES

JACKSON

I t’s just after four o’clock, and I’m sitting in my car in the back corner of the sports complex parking lot.

After my afternoon classes I came right back here. Not that going to those classes was even worth it because I couldn’t focus on a single fucking thing the professors were saying after my fight with Theo this morning.

After I stormed out it took me all of five minutes to decide what I wanted to do.

Because despite how monumentally pissed off I am at him, I can’t quit.

He’s like the worst kind of drug. I know he’s killing me from the inside out, but I can’t wait until my next hit. And the next. And the next.

? * I always want more of him.

Which is why watching him on the cameras throughout the sports complex is no longer enough. And why the moment I see him walk in the direction of the track for their practice I exit my car and head toward the doors I go in for my appointments.

Walking as fast as my leg will allow, I make my way down the now all-to-familiar hallway, but this time I don’t go into Chris’ door. Turning to the right, I reach for Theo’s door handle to thankfully find it open.

I pull out a small waterproof camera from my backpack and nestle it in the snake plant on the bookshelf across from his desk.

Pulling out my phone, I ensure the camera’s view isn’t obstructed and the image is loading properly before I throw my backpack over my shoulders and sneak back out the door.

And once I’m back in my car, I open my laptop, clear the last ten minutes from the sport’s complex’s security cameras, and wait for him to return from his rounds at track and field practice.

And when he does I don’t even bother driving home. Because my eyes are glued to him. My drug.

My addiction.

My ever waking desire.

But, my concentration breaks when my phone starts dinging repeatedly in my pocket, and I remember I was supposed to meet Clay and Rocky at the library to study.

Which, I can’t really say I’m overly excited for, because for one… I don’t need to study. I’m a genius. And two… despite their best efforts, it’s abundantly clear to anyone with eyeballs that the two of them have a thing. And considering my current lovesick condition, being around a couple isn’t exactly on my to do list.

But I know if I don’t they won’t let it be.

Clay already knows something is going on with me.

He’s my best friend. He knows when I’m not okay. And I think it’s safe to say I am well beyond okay.

I let myself watch Theo for a few more minutes before pocketing my phone and heading toward the library.

* * *

Throwing my bag onto the table, I take an empty seat next to my best friend and smile sarcastically at Rocky who’s sitting across from Clay. “Never thought I would see you using the group chat, Rockwell.”

Rocky narrows his eyes. “I use it all the time now, Jackson, don’t start your shit with me.” Despite our razzing one another, I don’t have an issue with Rocky. He seems like a genuinely good guy, and despite their rough start, he’s been a great partner for Clay. I just hope that whatever is going on between the two of them doesn’t end in disaster. Because Clay deserves the world, and I’ll be damned if I allow anyone to treat him as if he doesn’t.

Rocky cocks his head. “And don’t change the subject. Why the hell were you so late?”

Regardless of how upset I am at him, a smile lines my lips at the thought of my camera being in his office. “Unlike you two… I don’t need to study. I had to install some new programs on my computer, and I got caught up watching…”

Shut. Up. Jackson.

But it’s too late. Clay’s attention has peaked. “Watching what, Jax?”

Shit.

“No one. It’s none of your business.”

Oh, real smooth Jackson. Since when have you ever hid a single thing from Clay?

But Rocky chimes in before Clay has a chance to. “Oh, so it’s a person?”

Fucking fuck.

I can feel Clay boring a hole in the side of my head, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. Because I know that as soon as I do, I’ll come clean about everything.

And I can’t. Not yet. Mostly because I’m honestly a little embarrassed about how I’ve been acting about this entire situation. But also because, if Clay knew what was going on I have no doubt that, despite his golden retriever demeanor, he would march right over to Theo’s house and deck him square in his perfectly chiseled jaw.

So, I say nothing. I say nothing and just let him stare at me until I hear him sigh in frustration before hastily standing from his chair. “I’m going to find the book that I need for my marketing class.”

Great. Now he’s pissed at me too.

“Jax.” The concern on Rocky’s face is evident. I’m important to Clay, which means I’m important to Rocky now too. If the people Clay loves are hurting, Rocky wants to fix it. That’s the type of guy he is. He stands up for the people in his corner. “Seriously, are you okay? Are you in some kind of trouble?” He leans forward on the table. “I can help.”

I don’t doubt that he would if he could. But unfortunately… this isn’t anything anyone can help me with. No matter how much I want it sometimes. “I’m fine, Rocky. I promise.” Lies . “I just have some shit going on. But nothing I can’t keep an eye on.”

He can tell I’m full of shit, but he doesn’t push any further. Nodding, he stands from the table. “I’m going to help Clay find the book he needs,” he says with a wink.

I playfully roll my eyes. “Ugh, fine. Just make sure I don’t have to hear it.”

Rocky laughs before heading toward the bookshelves Clay disappeared between.

Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I pull up the feed from Theo’s office, eager to see him. But I’m disappointed to find he’s gone, and his office is dark.

Briefly, I play with the idea of throwing my shit in my bag and heading home in hopes of catching him through his window, but then I remember that he hasn’t so much as opened his curtains an inch in over a month and a half.

So, I pocket my phone and study. I study until I spot Rocky and Clay walking back toward the table, hand in hand.

And would you look at that, not a fucking book to be found. “Didn’t find the book you needed, I see?”

Clay sits down next to me and puffs out his chest. “Nah, got a little distracted.”

See, this is exactly what I was talking about. Just a reminder of what I so desperately want but Theo won’t let me have. “You guys fucking suck.”

Snorting a laugh, Clay answers, “Yeah, he sure did.”

* ? Gone or Staying - Sleep Theory