Page 9 of Send It

Colson

The weekend was pure torture. My leg throbbed the entire second moto, and I rode like absolute dog shit. We only came to the race for extra practice, but I barely even placed in the top ten. In a race where I would easily win otherwise. It sucked.

Reiss was on top of his game, though. As usual. He’s healthy and not a single thing gets in his head. Too bad I can’t say the same.

My head was all over the place. My thoughts were occupied by his baby sister’s lips. Which is fucked up. I know.

The only way I knew to get her out of my head was to ignore her. So that’s what I did for two solid weeks. Until last night, when she basically took care of me like some kind of little mommy. Which oddly enough turned me the fuck on.

Blame it on my own mommy issues I guess.

I hate the way I loved her taking care of me. I liked it too much, but I know that this is just how our relationship is. Or was, before I decided the only way not to be attracted to her was to push her away.

I would sit next to her at every supercross race our dads were in and hold her hand because she was afraid her dad would get hurt. I didn’t do it because I felt an obligation either. I did it because I cared. I did it because I liked the way she depended on me.

In fact, I would’ve left the racing scene a long time ago if it wasn’t for Lincoln. Sure it’s fun, and Reiss is like my brother and we have fun doing it together, but I’m not sure it’s worth the risk. Everytime I sit down on my bike, I’m afraid.

Afraid of another injury. Afraid of another surgery. Afraid that one day I won’t be able to even walk at the park with my own kids.

I want that. My own family, kids that know that I want them, and a wife that I can be unapologetically obsessed with.

Truthfully, I don’t see a future in riding.

Not like my dad, and I don’t want to be anything like him.

I don’t want my kids growing up in the circut, being dragged around the country in a fucking bus.

I want a fucking house. I want my kids to experience school. I want normalcy.

But more than all of those things, I want Lincoln. Right now, racing means Lincoln Bane. So that’s what I’m doing. Racing. Beyond that, I don’t know.

“Lincoln’s birthday is next week,” Reiss says from across the shop, dragging me from my thoughts, like I didn’t already know.

Trust me, I’m well aware of baby Bane’s eighteenth birthday.

“Are you doing something for her?” I ask, knowing damn well he’s got something up his sleeve.

“Stassie wants to go to the lake house for the weekend. Thought maybe the four of us could chill. Mom and Dad are going to LA for a charity event.”

Just the four of us. Alone. The thought races through every part of my brain but mostly how I’m supposed to act around Reiss knowing I want his sister.

“You and Stassie, ey?” I tease, even though it’s the other way around.

“Stassie hates my guts,” he laughs. “Trust me, I’ve been there and tried that.”

I grin, “She really does hate you, doesn’t she?”

He shrugs, “I think the time I put the Harry Styles cut out in the backseat of her car was the final nail in the coffin.”

I nearly choke on my water as I chuckle, “That shit was legendary. Especially since she loved One Direction so much back in the day.”

He shakes his head, “I kinda feel bad about it. Linc said it scared her to death, and now she shines her phone flashlight in the windows if it’s dark outside to make sure nothing is in there.”

“Yeah, I don’t think all the pranks helped your cause my man.”

Dropping the wrench he’s holding to the tray he sighs, “Definitely not. So are you in?”

I cringe, knowing I’m going to go. “I don’t know, bro.”

He pouts, like the goofy ass mother fucker he is.

“Fine,” I snap. “I’ll go.”

He claps his hands together, “Good, because you and Lincoln need to figure out your shit and get back to the way ya’ll used to be. All this fighting is ridiculous.”

I sigh, “We aren’t fighting.”

“Well, whatever. She’s my sister, so ya’ll need to get back on speaking terms.”

I shove the kissing terms out my mind, “I know. We’re fine, man.”

He smiles, “Just promise me that you will be nice to her, since it’s her birthday.”

“I’m always nice.”

He eyes me. “Then be extra nice.”

Instead of arguing, I agree with him. Promising to be on my best behavior. But now not only do I have to spend the whole weekend with Reiss and Lincoln, I have to do it without my number one play. I’m not going to be able to avoid her.

After finishing a top end rebuild on one of the practice bikes, I wash up and go inside. I need to go home and shower, but I want to accidentally run into Lincoln. I haven’t seen her all day, and after last night I feel like I need to apologize.

The second Reiss walked in the room, it’s like a switch flipped in me. I need to tell her how I really feel. How I can’t even see straight when she’s in the room. I need to tell her everything, and more than that, I need to tell Reiss everything.

The house is quiet as I enter and Reiss walks down from his room, his hair wet from a shower.

“Where’s Linc? I wanted to see what she wants for her birthday.” I lie.

He shrugs, walking past me to the fridge, “She said she was going to meet Jackson for dinner.”

My heart sinks.

You were an asshole last night, Colson.

“I’ll uh… catch up with her later then,” I fumble over my words, and pull out my phone on my way out to my truck. Typing as fast and as furiously into it as possible. I have to make this right.

Colson

I’m sorry about last night. Please come over.

I wait and wait for a response, but one never comes.