Page 26 of Send It
Colson
No way in hell am I sending Lincoln back to Jackson after what happened last time she was with him.
I don’t trust the guy and if that makes me look like a jealous asshole, then so be it.
When we get to Mira’s house to pick her up, I move to the backseat with Lincoln. It is dark in the car so I don’t hesitate to rest my hand against her thigh. Her tanned skin feels like velvet against my palm and I allow the hem of her dress to just cover it, in case Reiss looks back.
Lincoln
Your actions don’t match your words, dipshit.
Colson
It’s hard to control myself when you look like that.
Lincoln
Says the guy who fucked me the morning after I vomited in his car.
Colson
I did not fuck you.
Lincoln
Oh yeah? We’re just pretending like it didn’t happen?
Colson
No but if you are gonna force me to think about it then we are gonna call it what it was.
Lincoln
What’s that?
Colson
It meant more and you know it.
Lincoln
I know.
Colson
It can’t happen again.
Lincoln
I know.
She doesn’t speak to me when we get to the farm, instead she walks straight to Jackson and gives him a hug. The way his hands linger on her lower back makes me see red.
“You need to stop jerking her around, Colson.” Stassie’s voice forces me to peel my eyes from them and I feel my heart sink.
“I don’t know what you are talking about? ”
Stassie’s voice becomes teasing, “Oh but I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”
I’ve always been pretty open with Stassie and treated her just like one of us, considering she’s always been around, but this isn’t something I feel comfortable discussing with her. Or anyone for that matter.
“I don’t,” I mumble, pushing past her to join the group containing my best friend, which also contains Landon Tate.
Other than the known track rivalry, I fucking hate him. For several reasons. The horrible fucking posse he totes around, the way he treats everyone he comes in contact with, his dirty racing… just to name a few.
“The fuck happened to your leg, Raines?” he spits. “Don’t tell me you are out for Nationals, cause I can beat this kid…” he points to Reiss. “In my fucking sleep.”
I feel the rage bubble up inside me, “I can’t wait for you to choke in a cloud of my dust. I’ll be sure to flip you off when I cross that finish line before you.”
Landon laughs, “Good to know you are still in there. Word on the street is that you’re going soft.”
Reiss speaks before I have the chance, “Just quit talking your shit and show us on the track. How about that?”
“You gonna need this one to push you to the finish line like last time?” Landon says, motioning to me. “I won’t be so friendly when he’s in my way next time, Reiss.”
The threat seeps off his tongue like poison, and even though I know he’s threatening me, if our deal goes through, he’s really threatening Lincoln.
The mere thought of him hurting her pisses me off. Guilt swirls in my stomach at the thought of my actions putting her in danger. It makes me rethink the entire thing.
I walk off from the group.
“Colson,” Reiss says, following right behind me. “You alright? I thought for sure you would’ve broken his nose for talking shit.”
I try my best to get out of my head, “Maybe I am going soft.”
“Does it have something to do with my sister?”
The words stun me, “Lincoln? What? What do you mean?”
“I just mean she’s been babying you since she found out about your leg actin’ up.”
“Oh, uh yeah. She has I guess.”
Reiss’ brows furrow, “What’s that about anyway?”
I look across the field to where Lincoln is smiling up at Jackson like he hung the fucking moon. “Nothing I guess.”
He steps in my line of sight, forcing me to take my eyes from them. “Lincoln can be a little overbearing, you want me to tell her to back off?”
“Nah,” I sigh. “She’s good… Besides, it looks like she’s distracted from my leg anyway.”
Reiss’ eyes wander to where Lincoln is and he smiles, “Yeah, they’ve been all over each other lately. I think they’ll end up dating.”
I feel the sudden urge to set the entire field on fire with that comment but I brush him off. “Yeah maybe.”
But not in my lifetime.
Reiss walks away and Brielle slips in front of me, “Hey asshole. You haven’t texted me back in like two weeks. I thought you died.”
“Not dead,” I admit. “Just done.”
She giggles, “I’ve been done before too, Colson. Remember how long that lasted?”
“I’m turning over a new leaf,” I state.
Her eyes dance to where mine are permanently fixed on Lincoln, causing her to blow out a laugh. “Oh I see.”
I jerk my eyes to her, “See what?”
“So you’ve finally decided to grow a pair and tell Reiss you want Lincoln?”
Her words stun me, because I really didn’t think I was that obvious.
“Come on,” she sighs. “You can’t be that naive to think that people don’t notice.”
“There’s nothing to notice. It can’t ever happen, Brielle, so just drop it.”
She crosses her arms, “I just wish you’d finally admit it to me, Colson. We’ve fucked around for two years and you couldn’t commit. I want to hear you say that she’s the reason why. You owe me that at least, don’t you think? The fucking truth?”
“Fine,” I snap. “It’s her. It always has been and it always will be.”
“See,” she huffs, waving her arms, nearly causing a scene. “Was that so fucking hard?”
I notice the eyes starting to turn in our direction, so I pull her away from the crowd so we can talk without an audience. “Why are you acting like this? I thought you were talking to Hayden again?”
Her ex. The one she would throw up in our conversations when I would tell her I didn’t want a relationship.
She throws her hands up, “God Colson, you are so stupid. Hayden isn’t fucking real. You have just been too blinded by Lincoln this whole time to notice.”
I stare at her with a blank expression. I feel really fucking guilty. I never wanted to date Brielle. I told her that from the beginning but I also didn’t expect to look like a dick in the end. Without even meaning to, I’ve led her on.
“I’m sorry, Bri. I didn’t know. I can’t… I just, I don’t…”
She stops me before I can get another word out. “Don’t do that Colson. I’ve heard the same shit for a long ass time. I get it. You never promised me anything but thanks for finally telling me the truth.”
I shake my head, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I swear I didn’t mean to.”
Lifting her tiny frame up to her tip toes, she plants a soft kiss to my jawline and walks away.
My heart sinks.
Not because I love her, but because not only does my love for Lincoln hurt me, it hurts other people too.
I hurt Brielle because I love Lincoln. Is that what it will always be? A never ending cycle of me lying to myself when only one girl can really keep my attention?
“You wanna go with me and Mira to the bar in town? Some of her friends are meeting us there. They are really fucking hot.”
Reiss’ voice interrupts my thoughts and I wave him off.
“No. I have to train tomorrow if I am going to be ready to ride in time.”
He gives me a look that says yeah right .
“I am,” I sigh, looking over to where Landon is standing with his band of idiots. “Only one month and I can’t let that guy make a fool out of me.”
“Ok,” Reiss sighs. “Ryan went with dad to go pick up one of the bikes we had built for Nationals. Who are you going to train with? I’m not allowed to ride on Saturdays. Ryan will kill me.”
I look around the party, and my eyes settle on my partner in crime.
“Maybe Lincoln, but don’t worry about it bro. I’ll figure it out.”